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Original poster

Can't seem to find my tiny violin

91 replies

LlamaNoDrama · 14/08/2024 13:48

Why are sky even giving him airspace

news.sky.com/story/child-rapist-beach-volleyball-player-steven-van-de-velde-admits-he-nearly-quit-paris-olympics-13196834

There's a pic of him crying!

OP posts:
AccountCreateUsername · 14/08/2024 17:01

Abstractthinking · 14/08/2024 16:05

I am so going to be flamed, but this is a touch over the top.

Yes what he did was wrong. But there is a large difference between a sadistic child sexual abuser and a teenager who made an error of judgement (albeit serious). Reading about the case, it seems to be non-violent satutory rape. And as for grooming, the victim initially said she was 16.

His own country has judged that he has been sufficiently punished. He can have a life equal to others. That includes marrying who he likes (or who wants to marry him), having a career and having a child.

People seem to relish denigrating him. He was probably hoping his child would never find out, or could be told at an appropriate time/age. That would impossible now. Also the victim in this case would very probably never of heard of him in the Olympics, if such a fuss had not been made.

This argument about caring about either his child or the victim seems to be ill-thought through. Nuance and empathy instead of raging on the Internet.

He was 19 and she was 12. He is on the sex offenders register here because of his crimes. That type of predatory paedophillic behaviour doesn’t just go away. I doubt he’s grown out of his predilection for children. Do those types ever?

If he doesn’t want to be publicly shamed and named as a nonce then he should go and live a quiet life away from the media.

I hope he loses his sponsorship deals and realises how disgusting other people find him. No doubt he and his wife are facing some social heat and now feel a bit sad.

AccountCreateUsername · 14/08/2024 17:08

@Abstractthinking I'm not flaming you and this isn’t just raging on the internet.
I’d like to see him lose his sponsorship deals and I’d like IOC rules to be changed so no one has to watch their convicted rapist at the olympics again. I don't think that’s an unrealistic or an unfair thing to want / demand.

Universalsnail · 14/08/2024 17:10

Abstractthinking · 14/08/2024 16:05

I am so going to be flamed, but this is a touch over the top.

Yes what he did was wrong. But there is a large difference between a sadistic child sexual abuser and a teenager who made an error of judgement (albeit serious). Reading about the case, it seems to be non-violent satutory rape. And as for grooming, the victim initially said she was 16.

His own country has judged that he has been sufficiently punished. He can have a life equal to others. That includes marrying who he likes (or who wants to marry him), having a career and having a child.

People seem to relish denigrating him. He was probably hoping his child would never find out, or could be told at an appropriate time/age. That would impossible now. Also the victim in this case would very probably never of heard of him in the Olympics, if such a fuss had not been made.

This argument about caring about either his child or the victim seems to be ill-thought through. Nuance and empathy instead of raging on the Internet.

The girl was 12. 12!
He was 19.

This isn't a case of 17 year old teenager has sex with 15 year old teenager. He was 19, very close to being 20 and legally a full adult and she wasn't even a teenager. She was a child. She was 12.

What in the world is wrong with you.

HollyKnight · 14/08/2024 17:17

From what I understand, the IOC couldn't do anything to stop him from participating because it is left to the individual countries' committees to decide who they have on their teams. In this case, the Dutch OC permitted his inclusion because the Dutch volleyball federation allows it.

greenpinkskies · 14/08/2024 17:18

TooFirty · 14/08/2024 14:27

Why on earth would you want a convicted peedo representing your country. I've visited the Netherlands many times and loved it but I'm seriously judging them now. They didnt even make him complete his sentence, apparently raping kids is not that big of a deal in the Netherlands?

Ick

I agree. I’m also seriously judging them now. It’s a disgrace.

OlympicChampignon · 14/08/2024 17:22

Abstractthinking · 14/08/2024 16:05

I am so going to be flamed, but this is a touch over the top.

Yes what he did was wrong. But there is a large difference between a sadistic child sexual abuser and a teenager who made an error of judgement (albeit serious). Reading about the case, it seems to be non-violent satutory rape. And as for grooming, the victim initially said she was 16.

His own country has judged that he has been sufficiently punished. He can have a life equal to others. That includes marrying who he likes (or who wants to marry him), having a career and having a child.

People seem to relish denigrating him. He was probably hoping his child would never find out, or could be told at an appropriate time/age. That would impossible now. Also the victim in this case would very probably never of heard of him in the Olympics, if such a fuss had not been made.

This argument about caring about either his child or the victim seems to be ill-thought through. Nuance and empathy instead of raging on the Internet.

Excuse me???
He didn't just make an 'error of judgement'. That would be, for example sleeping with a girl he picked up in a club, who has lied about her age. Or dating a girl a few years younger.

Also you've got your facts wrong.
Not only did he knowingly groom a child - he discovered her real age, and still continued.
He hopped on a plane to another country.
Plied said child with alcohol.
Raped her multiple times over the course of 2 days.
Refused to stop despite expressions of physical pain from his victim. You consider this non-violent?

How much more violent did he have to be for you to consider it an, erm, 'sadistic sexual assault'? You want him to have beaten her up too?

BTW, I agree that even paedophilies once released should have some sort of life. After all they to feed themselves too and presumably need some sort of job for that. Social life, marriage, well, if it's known and people still choose to associate with them, nothing anybody can do.

But to represent his country?
Nope.

OlympicChampignon · 14/08/2024 17:28

Also I feel sorry for his children. But what their father did is a fact. Nothing can change that.

hotpotlover · 14/08/2024 17:34

This is a hard one - what he did was deplorable, but considering his very young age at the time of the offence, I think he can turn his life around and become a better person.

I know how I was when I was 19 - an adult on paper, but still so immature in my head.

HollyKnight · 14/08/2024 17:37

hotpotlover · 14/08/2024 17:34

This is a hard one - what he did was deplorable, but considering his very young age at the time of the offence, I think he can turn his life around and become a better person.

I know how I was when I was 19 - an adult on paper, but still so immature in my head.

When you were 19yo, did you look at 12yo children and get turned on?

hotpotlover · 14/08/2024 17:38

HollyKnight · 14/08/2024 17:37

When you were 19yo, did you look at 12yo children and get turned on?

Show quote history

No, of course not, but I made lots of mistakes.

TooFirty · 14/08/2024 17:39

Chersfrozenface · 14/08/2024 15:36

I'm afraid the Netherlands is very "sex positive".

He was returned to the Netherlands from the UK in accordance with the extradition agreement that had brought him to face a court. His conviction for rape was adjusted to the conviction he would have had in the Netherlands, that of ""sexual acts that violate social-ethical norms". Until 1 July 2024, Dutch law only recognised rape if coercion through violence or the threat if violence was involved. So grooming a 12 year old girl and getting her drunk didn't count.

Show quote history

So "Sex positive" and "rape positive" are one and the same to the Dutch? I'm appalled. What a disgusting legal system

Last time I ever visit the Netherlands. Obviously they dont care and it makes no difference, but why on earth would I put myself in a situation where it is basically legal to do That to my DD or I. I wont visit Dubai for the same reason.

HollyKnight · 14/08/2024 17:41

hotpotlover · 14/08/2024 17:38

No, of course not, but I made lots of mistakes.

Show quote history

Why "of course not"? You seem to think it is something that happens to normal 19-year-olds, but it's only a mistake if they act upon it.

AccountCreateUsername · 14/08/2024 17:41

Would you have got a 12 year old drunk and raped her, after grooming her? I’m sure you wouldn’t and 19 isn’t too young to rape a child.

If he wants a quiet life he should get a quiet job. Not around children of course but he seriously needs to fuck off. And I’d question the professional judgment of a police officer who chooses to marry a convicted child rapist. Imagine having to face her if the victim of a sexual assault.

I digress, the best outcome imo is for us to never hear his name or see his face on our media ever again.

edit @hotpotlover but see others have responded

mbosnz · 14/08/2024 17:43

An error of judgment gets you a parking ticket, or a fine for speeding.

He committed a shocking crime against a young girl. Yes, he was young. He was not so young as to not know right from wrong, nor that having sexual relations with a twelve year old child is a criminal act that attracts criminal sanctions, and widespread societal revulsion, disgust and condemnation.

He served part of his jail sentence. There's another part of the sentence that will be served, when you are found guilty of a crime - the ongoing mistrust, condemnation and vilification of you and the act you committed. That stays with you for as long as people feel like that about what you did, and unlike any other part of the sentence, there is no appeal, there is no reduction in the sentence due to having a good lawyer. In his case it may well be permanent. Choices. Actions. Consequences. . .

HollyKnight · 14/08/2024 17:44

The "mistake" is not that he acted upon his sexual urges towards a child. The issue is that he had sexual urges towards a child in the first place. That is not normal nor is it something that goes away.

Incakewetrust · 14/08/2024 17:45

He should've been bullied more 🙄 absolute specimen.

ErrolTheDragon · 14/08/2024 17:46

hotpotlover · 14/08/2024 17:34

This is a hard one - what he did was deplorable, but considering his very young age at the time of the offence, I think he can turn his life around and become a better person.

I know how I was when I was 19 - an adult on paper, but still so immature in my head.

He could have begun being a better person by having the decency not to compete in the Olympics.Hmm

TooFirty · 14/08/2024 17:48

hotpotlover · 14/08/2024 17:34

This is a hard one - what he did was deplorable, but considering his very young age at the time of the offence, I think he can turn his life around and become a better person.

I know how I was when I was 19 - an adult on paper, but still so immature in my head.

Oh well thats ok then, he was young at the time, so that makes it what? Not rape? Just a silly mistake, like oops I tripped over and accidentally SA'd a child?

That 12 year old girl (remember her?), who suffered THREE brutal attacks at the hands of a grown man, that girl who will never get to finish serving her sentence mentally or emotionally, she can just suck it up and get over it because he was young at the time?

I was very immature at that age too, never once raped anybody..

When you were 19 did you fancy kids?

StormingNorman · 14/08/2024 17:48

Borrow mine 🎻

TooFirty · 14/08/2024 17:49

mbosnz · 14/08/2024 17:43

An error of judgment gets you a parking ticket, or a fine for speeding.

He committed a shocking crime against a young girl. Yes, he was young. He was not so young as to not know right from wrong, nor that having sexual relations with a twelve year old child is a criminal act that attracts criminal sanctions, and widespread societal revulsion, disgust and condemnation.

He served part of his jail sentence. There's another part of the sentence that will be served, when you are found guilty of a crime - the ongoing mistrust, condemnation and vilification of you and the act you committed. That stays with you for as long as people feel like that about what you did, and unlike any other part of the sentence, there is no appeal, there is no reduction in the sentence due to having a good lawyer. In his case it may well be permanent. Choices. Actions. Consequences. . .

THIS 👏👏👏👏👏👏

ErrolTheDragon · 14/08/2024 17:56

I'm afraid the Netherlands is very "sex positive".

Argh, this wretched 'sex positive' notion.

I'm properly sex positive - I.e. I am positive about positive sex - freely consenting, pleasurable sex between consenting adults. But ethical logic surely says we should be negative about negative sex, and a 10-12 yo girl being groomed is surely deeply negative sex.
If you're positive about negative sex, that's when you deserve the derided label 'sex negative'.

ErrolTheDragon · 14/08/2024 17:57

StormingNorman · 14/08/2024 17:48

Borrow mine 🎻

Too big.

mbosnz · 14/08/2024 17:59

I think the furore is very useful in highlighting that you might serve your jail sentence but that doesn't prevent you from having your criminal past traumatising an innocent victim bite you on the arse at any given time for the rest of your life.

Robynxoxo · 14/08/2024 17:59

Have you seen that GB news segment where bev turner and Emma woolfe are defending him. Shocking.

RustyBear · 14/08/2024 18:05

“I’m not the person I was 10 years ago”
I don’t suppose his victim is either…