Ds engaging in findom - help

[Nicupnorth]

Im a bit ashamed to be posting this as it’s highly embarrassing. I’ve recently discovered my 21 year old son has been caught in something what is known as financial domination. I had to Google it! He has spent thousands sending money to random women online and has got himself into all sorts of issues with pay day loans. This led him to confess what has been doing.

I am able to help him financially but has anyone ever come across as I’m just shocked and in a bit disablief as to why anyone would do this.

I’m sorry OP that must be a shock for you, and difficult for him.

Findom is a kink like any other, he is doing is because it brings him pleasure. It’s harmless if he can afford to do it, obviously he can’t and so there lies the problem. I think it’s more common than some may think, I have a friend who does Only Fans and has a few “regulars” who do this, send her money, send her expensive gifts etc, it brings them great pleasure and they love it. The issue is he hasn’t got the money to engage in it!

This is grim and very strange.

The issue is far bigger than he cant afford it.

How's his attitude towards women in general?

How strange- financial domination came up on Emmerdale tonight!

I used to be on the receiving end of a findom fetishisation. Someone i was friends with growing up popped up on my Facebook one day then it started with him asking for my paypal details because he wanted to "send me some money". Because it's only an email address I shared it (out of naivety/curiosity). He then proceeded to send me £20 / £40. I then googled this behaviour learning it was a fetish because what on earth was I supposed to be supplying him with here? So by the third attempt I told him he needed an intervention and was so much better than this behaviour. Now we have a respectful relationship and I genuinely care for him. But i do think it stems from lack of self esteem.

Hi, yeah its a really strange fetish. Even if you can afford it, its terrible for the mental health and self-esteem as speaking in tongues pointed out. I think the cause is chronic porn use, eventually they get bored of watching average stuff, and then go down a rabbit hole into getting pleasure from extreme stuff like paying people, ultimately resulting in feeling low after having sent. He's an adult so only so much you can do as a mum. Would recommend that you tell him just to delete all accounts where he pays these people; as its often payments from impulsivity so if he doesn't have the account open - he won't send. Then the ultimate recovery is just get a girlfriend. Hope this helps.