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Original poster

Upgrade to the wedding.

73 replies

Yahoo968 · 08/08/2024 15:38

First thing I want to say is we are NOT offended. We have accepted.

In June we received an evening invite to the wedding of a friend through sport of DH.
This is taking place over 70 miles away. We have been able to book a room at the wedding venue. Check in at 6pm party starts at 7pm.

This morning we received another invite with a personal message asking if we would now like to go to the whole event. It seems they have had a few people drop out.

Speaking to DSil and she was saying how rude the couple are.
Would you be offended.

OP posts:
Ribenaberry12 · 08/08/2024 15:43

I wouldn’t be offended. I’ve had this happen before. I was just pleased with the ‘upgrade’!

masomenos · 08/08/2024 15:43

I wouldn't be offended, no. If I liked them and wanted to go, I would. If I couldn't be bothered, I wouldn't. Obvious to everyone we're not close, so it's just a "fancy a day out on us, seeing as money's going to waste?" kind of thing. Not a big deal either way.

Menolady · 08/08/2024 15:46

No I wouldn’t be offended. Weddings are expensive and they probably had a person-limit for the meal / place they’re getting wed that was smaller than the dancing bit.

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Weddings
swimmingviolinist · 08/08/2024 15:46

I wouldn’t be offended, for some venues you have to fill the venue and if you don’t then you have to pay anyway. It’s nice of them to think of you and cool that you are going - have a fab time

Beebumble2 · 08/08/2024 15:47

I wouldn’t be offended. We were once invited to the wedding festivities after the ceremony. That wasn’t a problem as the venue for the ceremony was quite small. Later an opportunity to go to the ceremony arose, we were delighted to attend.

OlympicsFanGirl · 08/08/2024 15:59

I wouldnt be offended in the slightest.

It happens

SauviGone · 08/08/2024 16:03

In this case wouldn’t be offended as it’s a hobby friend of your DH’s, and I would also accept the invite.

I’d definitely be a bit offended if it was someone I thought DH and I were closer to, as it really is a very clear signal that you are considered ‘second tier’ friends/family to them.

xyz111 · 08/08/2024 16:10

I wouldn't be offended. We had people we wished could have come to the day but we couldn't afford for everyone to come.

DelurkingAJ · 08/08/2024 16:11

I wouldn’t be offended in the slightest. I do love weddings though!

Doggymummar · 08/08/2024 16:11

Of course not

Barleysugar86 · 08/08/2024 16:12

She's being very weird. If you aren't offended by only being an evening invite why would you be offended by finding out you'd only narrowly missed the list for day guest, which now had space for you to join for longer?

thecatsthecats · 08/08/2024 16:14

I wasn't offended when this happened to us.

Our friend was pressured to include a lot of extended family, plus had step families on both sides they were close to. She was delighted to find room for us.

Muffin101 · 08/08/2024 16:14

I wouldn’t be at all offended, everyone had to draw the line with the guest list somewhere! How nice to be asked!

Whynottrythis · 08/08/2024 16:17

No, I have had this happen before and I wasn't offended. But I viewed my closeness to the couple in question similarly to them. Maybe if I thought we were BFFs and had invited them to be at my whole wedding or something I'd think differently.

DazedAndConfused321 · 08/08/2024 16:39

They didn't invite you to the first part because of numbers, not because they don't want you there. It's a huge decision to make and causes a lot of stress and it works for them that they now can have you join- be glad you were at the top of their list for cancellations!

showeringthisaft · 08/08/2024 17:41

No I wouldn't be offended.

We were invited to a whole wedding that was meant to be in 2020 (best friend's dd) and it got cancelled. When they rebooked, we got an evening invitation 😂 I was offended that time!

SnaccidentsHappen · 08/08/2024 18:01

Happened to us a few weeks ago, we were not in the least bit offended. Happened again at a family wedding last weekend (not us but other family members) and again I don't think they were offended at all.

FadedRed · 08/08/2024 18:06

No, if I was able to attend the whole day, I’d be delighted to be asked.

Peonies12 · 08/08/2024 18:06

I wouldn’t be offended: it’s pretty common situation! Best to use the full day space as likely they’ve already paid. Go and enjoy!

2AND2GC · 08/08/2024 18:43

Noooo! Not at all! This is a completely understandable and entirely legitimate situation!

No need at all to be offended - in fact, how lovely to be top of the 'B-List'

FofB · 08/08/2024 18:44

I work a wedding venue. In recent years, we have noticed more people dropping out at the last minute. Sometimes up to 10% of the guests.

For us- the food has been organised, bought, prepped- so we don't refund. However, they have paid for that service, so if they wish to replace that guest, we have no issue with that.

Some B&G have booked packages which are £100 p/p, so I fully understand them wanting to have someone else in that place. I'd enjoy the food and drink and have a good time!

californiaisdreaming · 08/08/2024 19:06

I must be the only one on this thread.

Yes, I'd be offended.

Honestybox10 · 13/08/2024 19:37

I will never get this U.K. trend. Surely if you cant afford to invite everyone to your wedding, do it when you can? This idea of “evening guests” is the biggest slap in the face. I want to watch you get married, not be an afterthought when everyone is shitfaced. Biggest insult.

caroline161 · 13/08/2024 21:31

Not at all! I had a full invite on the morning of a wedding! I screamed as I ran upstairs to get ready !

NotSorry · 13/08/2024 21:36

We got upgraded a few days before the wedding and we were delighted. I'm pretty sure she asked us as she knew we're not the type to take offence.