Upgrade to the wedding.

[Yahoo968]

First thing I want to say is we are NOT offended. We have accepted.

In June we received an evening invite to the wedding of a friend through sport of DH.
This is taking place over 70 miles away. We have been able to book a room at the wedding venue. Check in at 6pm party starts at 7pm.

This morning we received another invite with a personal message asking if we would now like to go to the whole event. It seems they have had a few people drop out.

Speaking to DSil and she was saying how rude the couple are.
Would you be offended.

Would not be offended in the slightest. My cousin dropped out on the day of our wedding as one of her children developed chicken pox. It happens! We invited friends we would have loved to have had there all day to come in her place, I don't think they were offended that I'd invited my cousin ahead of them... it's a pretty normal choice.

I certainly wouldn't be offended in this case. Love a wedding upgrade. The only time I think I would be offended would be if it was immediate family - you know brother, sister, child's wedding etc.

🙄

I'd like to know why anyone would be offended. Evening guests are standard practice in UK weddings and no one I've met has ever had a problem with it. It's not the opening of an envelope...it's the celebration of a marriage.

Oh give it a rest with the privilege shite. Every couple has a budget for their wedding and we chose not to have day and evening guests. Everyone’s different. What I would never have done was a wedding waiting list.

Funny now but stressful at the time.

Some of my guests couldn’t make the wedding. We ‘upgraded’ invites and invited extra guests…

Then the original guests changed their minds and re invited themselves.

Made for a very squashed day!

I'd be fine with this - it's happened to me before too.

Through sport of DH

So that’s supposed to mean that the invite came from a connection the DH has to a group of people he plays a sport with? It’s a sort of text speak shorthand way of saying something?

I wouldn't be offended. Weddings are super expensive and it's a given that you just can't invite everyone. In fact I'd probably be happy that we were high enough on the list to be invited to go for the day.

Not at all! They obviously wanted you there but was a money/ numbers issue

It means
The wedding of
A friend (through sport) of the poster's husband.

So the husband is friends with the bride/groom through a shared sports activity (as opposed to a childhood friend etc).

I would pretend not to be offended, because I understand that organizing weddings is a shit fight, but part of me would be a wee bit hyacinth bucket about it.
It would feel like we were the economy passengers being allowed to sneak into business class but only because there were spare seats.

Absolutely would not take offence. Weddings are expensive and guests usually have to be limited. It's lovely to be 'upgraded'.

For the poster who cannot understand why UK weddings have evening invites:

1. Anyone can attend a church wedding in the UK, invited or not. No one checks invitations unless it is a Royal occasion. If invited guests fill the seats, you can stand at the back. Go to the wedding if you want to.

1. The main reception is generally the most boring part of the 'do', especially if it is a formal, seated meal, with speeches and toasts.

1. Few people get 'shit faced' before the evening guests arrive because they know that that is the fun, informal part of the 'do'. Lots of opportunity to catch up with rarely seen relatives and friends, usually in the bar because if there is dancing, the main room is too loud.

1. The dancing. The old people dancing, the dad dancing and the adolescents shyly moving, trying not to draw attention in the way the bride's father is. This is fun. Why be offended by missing out nervous boring speeches and getting straight to the good bit?

It wouldn't offend me in the slightest. It's normal to have friends that you are super close with and friends that you are less close to.

Wouldn't be offended in the slightest. If anything I'd be happy that out of the evening guests they chose us to move up to daytime.

When we had people drop out within 48 hours we allowed my brother's recent girlfriend to join him and another couple who I can't remember now.

Thanks @HyggeTygge , it really isn't that difficult @Summertimer . Not sure what you think it adds to the thread, picking apart people's grammar

What I would never have done was a wedding waiting list

and nor would most people, I shouldn't think, but, if I've paid for 60 places at the Reception and 2 people tell me 2 days before that they can no longer come, I'm darned sure I would ask someone if they would like to come along and eat those meals. As, I am sure, everyone would, except for you.

I don't think @Summertimer was picking the wording apart. Sometimes when things are written informally they read differently to different people.

But if you ask for clarification you often get told you're rude even when you have no intention of rudeness!

@BarbaraGilbert I’m not against people having any particular privilege. its just really sounded like you thought everybody had the option to’just invite everyone’ and they don’t. It’s always good to remember that for some people it’s not as simple as just doing what we would have done.
I didn’t have a waiting list but when a few people couldn’t come at the last minute it gave me the opportunity to invite someone I previously had to exclude because of family obligations. I don’t see that as having a waiting list.

Its just another perspective from someone who wasn’t in a position to just invite everyone but really wished they could have done.

Absolutely not. Nice gesture and they knew you had already made an effort for just the evening do. Have a lovely time

For a friend through husbands sport?

Nah, we're good thanks.

I wouldn't be offended. weddings are so expensive as we have people on our list I would have loved at the day but it was getting so expensive. If anyone drops out I will be inviting them to the day. Go and enjoy xx

I would be honoured that she chose me instead of some other randomer who didn't get on the list at all!

Enjoy the day, and for the record I dislike weddings, but do attend family ones only. Early polite refusal + gift for the rest. Then someone can have MY place!

This happened to me last year - one person dropped out a few weeks before the wedding so I got a last minute invitation to the hen do (drinks and a meal at home) and the wedding. I was happy to go. Like most of the other posters have said, weddings are expensive, have limited places, and lines have to be drawn.

There was only one place, so my partner wasn't invited. He was also delighted as he didn't need to make an excuse. He's not very sociable. :-)