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Original poster

Upgrade to the wedding.

73 replies

Yahoo968 · 08/08/2024 15:38

First thing I want to say is we are NOT offended. We have accepted.

In June we received an evening invite to the wedding of a friend through sport of DH.
This is taking place over 70 miles away. We have been able to book a room at the wedding venue. Check in at 6pm party starts at 7pm.

This morning we received another invite with a personal message asking if we would now like to go to the whole event. It seems they have had a few people drop out.

Speaking to DSil and she was saying how rude the couple are.
Would you be offended.

OP posts:
Loloj · 13/08/2024 21:52

Definitely wouldn’t be offended! We are having family and close friends at our daytime wedding then having a big party in the night where work colleagues and other friends can attend. If we have anyone drop out then we will upgrade some evening guests if they can make it. Not everyone has an unlimited budget to cater for 100’s of people. Can’t understand why anyone would be offended by this.

Emmz1510 · 13/08/2024 21:53

Not something to be offended by. Wedding numbers are hard to arrange!

HollyGolightly4 · 13/08/2024 21:57

Why @californiaisdreaming ?

Genuinely curious, I wouldn't be offended at all.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
Rocknrollstar · 13/08/2024 21:57

DS told me he had two spare spaces for his wedding and I rang the next people on our list and explained the situation and apologised that I hadn’t been able to invite them initially and they simply said they would be honoured to be included and of course they would come.

NewName24 · 13/08/2024 21:57

Of course not. I'd be delighted.

I got upgraded the night before once.

When we got married (decades ago) two people dropped out on the morning. I was going round all the people who had come to the Church, trying to find someone who would come. Seemed such a shame for the meals not to be eaten by someone.

Really bizarre to be offended - but this is MN I suppose, where it seems to be a competition some days to see who can be offended by the most ridiculous thing.

DrinkElephants · 13/08/2024 22:01

I’ve had this happen before and was very pleased. It was also the most fancy wedding we’ve been to so we’re very happy!

That said I hate evening wedding bits as it’s just loud music and dancing, I only like the day so unless it’s very local I only accept day invites as you can get away by 9 if you’re a day guest.

RawBloomers · 13/08/2024 22:02

I don't see what there is to be offended about? I can see how an evening invite might offend some people as there is obviously a tier of people who are considered more important to the wedding celebrations than you are. But if you are offended that there is a "higher" tier than you, the time to be offended is when you get the evening only invite. If you're okay with that and get "upgraded", where's the insult?

StrandedStarfish · 13/08/2024 22:03

There is something weirdly freeing about being reserve wedding guests. When I’ve been “upgraded”, I have always had a great time.

mondaytosunday · 13/08/2024 22:08

Well it seem a peculiar practise in this country to segment wedding invites like this. But no, if I was travelling that far and staying overnight I'd want to go to the whole thing! I'd accept too.

yeesh · 13/08/2024 22:09

I wouldn’t be offended. It’s happened to me and I also did it at my wedding.

invisiblecat · 13/08/2024 22:11

They've had day guests drop out, and it would be a pity to waste their places, and you are the chosen ones!

Nothing to be offended about at all.

tolerable · 13/08/2024 22:19

nope.its choice

TubeScreamer · 13/08/2024 22:28

I’d be delighted to be upgraded.

Portfun24 · 13/08/2024 22:29

No not at all

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 13/08/2024 22:29

No, I wasn't offended at all when it happened to me - it was only a few days before the wedding too so we had to have the food choices the drop out guests had made. Didn't bother me in the slightest. We were flattered that we were the ones the B&G thought of when a space became available.

Sometimes people have been invited out of obligation, and if they drop out they can then invite people they actually want there - that's what happened to us.

hottubjacuzzi · 13/08/2024 22:47

nope. won't be offended. unless, I was very very close to the couple and expected full invite in first place.

but then, I am not entitled and dislike entitled people. sorting a wedding is tough enough without pp wanting to make it tougher.

well done for accepting.

Conniebygaslight · 13/08/2024 22:48

You said in your post that you’re not offended but asking if you should be?
If you’re not offended, you’re not offended.

Summertimer · 13/08/2024 22:49

In June we received an evening invite to the wedding of a friend through sport of DH.

What’s a ‘sport’?

Philandbill · 13/08/2024 22:52

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 13/08/2024 22:29

No, I wasn't offended at all when it happened to me - it was only a few days before the wedding too so we had to have the food choices the drop out guests had made. Didn't bother me in the slightest. We were flattered that we were the ones the B&G thought of when a space became available.

Sometimes people have been invited out of obligation, and if they drop out they can then invite people they actually want there - that's what happened to us.

You sound like a lovely friend @GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut, very pragmatic. Hope you enjoy the day OP.

Berlinlover · 13/08/2024 22:54

I would be very offended and would consider the bride and groom pretty shameless.

BarbaraGilbert · 13/08/2024 22:54

californiaisdreaming · 08/08/2024 19:06

I must be the only one on this thread.

Yes, I'd be offended.

No you’re not the only one, I agree. It must be like a wedding waiting list. How do couples decide who gets an evening invite then invited to the full day when someone drops out? That’s rude to me. We never had evening invites at our wedding, everyone came to the full thing except those who had to work and let us know they could only attend after work.

BarbaraGilbert · 13/08/2024 23:02

HollyGolightly4 · 13/08/2024 21:57

Why @californiaisdreaming ?

Genuinely curious, I wouldn't be offended at all.

Ah the “curious” post. Simply because you wouldn’t be offended many people would be, there’s nothing to be “curious” about. Some people would be happy to go to the opening of an envelope. You have to love MN buzzwords 😂

mezlou84 · 13/08/2024 23:08

I wouldn't be offended at all. Everyone knows how expensive weddings can be and how limited on numbers it can be and stressful deciding who comes and who doesn't. Being next on the list of closest friends would have me jumping up and down thinking wow we get to go to the actual wedding. Definitely a positive.

NewName24 · 13/08/2024 23:11

Summertimer · 13/08/2024 22:49

In June we received an evening invite to the wedding of a friend through sport of DH.

What’s a ‘sport’?

If this is a serious question, the sport could be any sport, examples being

golf, football, hockey, cricket, rugby, basketball, tennis, etc.

(but am worried I might have missed something as it seems an odd question)

Mrsmozza123 · 13/08/2024 23:27

BarbaraGilbert · 13/08/2024 22:54

No you’re not the only one, I agree. It must be like a wedding waiting list. How do couples decide who gets an evening invite then invited to the full day when someone drops out? That’s rude to me. We never had evening invites at our wedding, everyone came to the full thing except those who had to work and let us know they could only attend after work.

Edited
Show quote history

@BarbaraGilbert Do you think maybe you were privileged to be able to do that? Imagine you had a budget that meant tough choices had to be made about guest lists. I don’t think it’s rude. it’s actually really hard when you have to exclude people you want to invite in order to meet family obligations.

Rather it ls the would be guests who feel entitled to an invite who are the rude ones.