Was I racist?

[Worrywartandall]

im going to try and keep this as non outing as possible but at this scenario occurred at work.

i am learning a non European language because i think it’s a great skill and it is the language of my in laws.

the language is somewhat similar to other languages of the region, so, as I’m told by dh and my teacher. There are lots of dialects and often even though one’s native tongue is A, they’d often be able to understand the language or B and C due to the linguistic similarities. Maybe like Spanish and Portuguese but more close.

for the purpose of the thread I am learning language A, the language of my dh and in laws. Colleague speaks language B. Small talk about how my lessons are going, I said such and such topic and the words, I said oh you might know some of the vocab I learned and be able to correct me if I’m wrong. Colleague didn’t know the words, fine, there are differences and similarities between the languages, these so happen to the difference.

i then got told by someone who overheard that this was a bit racist. They later said they were joking but I’m not sure if they back tracked because of how panicked I got.

it absolutely wasn’t my intention and I assumed it was common knowledge and widely accepted that there is overlap. I’m now in bits and catastrophising, specially given the backdrop. I explained my understanding of the cross over in languages and I definitely wasn’t implying because the persons ethnic background they automatically know other languages from the region and I wasn’t implying they were one homogeneous group.

i chatted to dh and he thinks it’s fine and the other person was on the wind up. But I am worried I was inadvertently racist.

please do try and be kind, I have anxiety already, which is now through the roof

It doesn't sound racist all to me. If you knew your colleague spoke language B and there are often similarities then no, I wouldn't say it's racist.

Of course not you are showing interest in learning a foreign language and you are not pretending to be an expert. I fail to see what is racist here. It really is an unnecessary worry. But no doubt someone will jump on to say otherwise.

I don’t want to say the languages as it’s very outing to the scenario but the communities that speak them languages would be the most worried (sadly because they are the most targeted, to varying degrees within the communities) by the abomination that is the current riots.

Not racist in the slightest ffs

As the area used to be one country that only split pretty recently (in the history of the world) there are a lot of cultural and linguistic similarities but there’s also been a fair amount of tension and sectarianism, so when I got called racist, I feel like I panicked and maybe made it worse and then I’ve just been stressing

i then got told by someone who overheard that this was a bit racist.

Definitely someone off MN that overheard you!

IMO, this wasn’t racist.

I’m now in bits and catastrophising, specially given the backdrop what backdrop?

I wouldn't say so, I've been learning bits of Urdu, and my colleague who speaks Hindi and Punjabi has been fantastic help!

Riots and violence against bame people

These may or may not have been the languages in question.

You should have responded to the snowflake with whatever "f off" is in the language you are learning.

Swearing is always the easiest and most fun thing to learn in a new language. 😈

edit: and good on you for learning, don't be afraid to mess up, we all do it.

So I won’t be in a HR meeting tomorrow. It panicked me because it was someone more senior to me saying I was racist

It's nothing like trying to burn down a hotel housing asylum seekers

If you are just explain the context - you knew the languages shared some common words

You say the colleague speaks a similar language? Are they native or 2nd/3rd generation? I'm wondering if the colleague would only understand your husband's language if they were a native speaker of their own?

Unless the colleague makes a complaint I'm sure you'll be fine. It sounds like the manager was making assumptions herself.

What ethnicity was the colleague who told you it was racist?

Im wondering if it wasn’t a white person having no idea what they’re talking about and who assumed that you were putting everyone in the same bag Wo no good reason.
And then backtracked when they realised they were in fact in the twat in the story who assumed they knew better.

The manager is an idiot. They were poking their nose in. Your colleague wasn't offended, was she? Stop worrying about it and go up the meeting! You can't control what other people think - only your reaction.

Not racist. Ignore the comment they don’t know what they’re talking about.

I’ve had a Scandinavian friend be a little short in reply when she mentioned something linguistic about her language and I compared it to the similar Swedish equivalent. Depends on personal experience; maybe to some it’s a bit irritating: eg like how Americans conflate the whole of Europe as one big homogenous place. Never racist though.

Not racist at all.

Not remotely racist.

Not racist.

When I was a young woman, I learned a bit of Serbo-Croatian. That no longer exists: people now speak Bosnian/Croatian/Montenegrin/Serbian. There are some grammatical and lexical differences, but many similarities.

Sounds like a similar situation to the one that you were in.

white brit like me

Your colleague showed an interest and it seems natural to talk in the way you did. Your manager however has shown more of a worrying attitude by talking lightly about racism, implying that your colleague will automatically be offended and being devisive.

It sounds like someone not understanding that the languages share a common root and assuming that you were saying the person should understand because they’re from the same general area even though it’s a different country.