Was I racist?

[Worrywartandall]

im going to try and keep this as non outing as possible but at this scenario occurred at work.

i am learning a non European language because i think it’s a great skill and it is the language of my in laws.

the language is somewhat similar to other languages of the region, so, as I’m told by dh and my teacher. There are lots of dialects and often even though one’s native tongue is A, they’d often be able to understand the language or B and C due to the linguistic similarities. Maybe like Spanish and Portuguese but more close.

for the purpose of the thread I am learning language A, the language of my dh and in laws. Colleague speaks language B. Small talk about how my lessons are going, I said such and such topic and the words, I said oh you might know some of the vocab I learned and be able to correct me if I’m wrong. Colleague didn’t know the words, fine, there are differences and similarities between the languages, these so happen to the difference.

i then got told by someone who overheard that this was a bit racist. They later said they were joking but I’m not sure if they back tracked because of how panicked I got.

it absolutely wasn’t my intention and I assumed it was common knowledge and widely accepted that there is overlap. I’m now in bits and catastrophising, specially given the backdrop. I explained my understanding of the cross over in languages and I definitely wasn’t implying because the persons ethnic background they automatically know other languages from the region and I wasn’t implying they were one homogeneous group.

i chatted to dh and he thinks it’s fine and the other person was on the wind up. But I am worried I was inadvertently racist.

please do try and be kind, I have anxiety already, which is now through the roof

I should imagine he backtracked because he realised how wrong he was.

If anything you should make a complaint about the person who accused you of something so awful and incendiary for no good reason and out of ignorance. Just to log it with HR.

Not racist at all! Lots of languages overlap. I'm learning Norwegian and if I knew someone who could speak literally any other Scandinavian language I'd ask if they could help at all!

I don’t think they will but equally I’d feel terrible if any offense was caused even if they didn’t report it.

the languages come from the same family so even if not a native speaker, you can if you’re proficient pick up the similarities. Dh isn’t native for instance but in these communities the languages tend to be spoken at home a lot so the children are often bilingual. Which is pretty impressive and why I’m learning to pass on to my (future) kids

So basically they had no idea what they were talking about right?

Forget it.
They were wrong but thought they knew better than you….
Many possible reasons for that …..

I think that’s almost a perfect example, formerly one country, yet different ethnic and religious groups with a somewhat fraught history

A former colleague of mine was from India and spoke half a dozen languages. She said that loads of people speak more than one.

I cannot see anything racist about it.

I think this is it and I’m worried now because obviously that wasn’t what I was saying at all. It was the linguistic similarities not something as crude as ‘you’re from vaguely over there so you must know’

Not at all. Hindi and Urdu are very similar (although I have had spirited discussions with those who think otherwise) and there is a degree of similarity between Punjabi and Hindi. There is nothing wrong with talking about that. I had a fun talk with a Pakistani Punjabi-speaking colleague, comparing it with Hindi.

PS if you are learning Hindi then I know ALL the swear words hahaha.

Thank you Mn!

my tummy has been in knots all day. To be called a racist at work by someone senior, honestly I was shaking.

I’m learning Urdu, it was a toss between Urdu and punjabi but the script of Punjabi seemed too complex for me. Dh language is a subdialect of Punjabi that borrows from Urdu, but they understand Urdu.

and even my book says they are all from the same linguistic family so there is similarities between Hindi and Punjabi. My MIL often watches Hindi and Punjabi language dramas and she’s never had any formal language instruction. I understood it that they all have cross overs in certain areas.

it was just the implication that I was saying oh hi you’re brown so you must know…

Oh goody, because my friend says Urdu is so polite there's not really bad words 😂

Funnily enough, OP, our (white, like me) boss told us that we couldn't ask for my colleague when there was somebody of her ethnicity who was struggling to speak English, because it might be racism. She told the boss not to speak for her and then told us to ignore it. She loves it and we think she a a superhero.

Not racist at all, hindi, urdu and punjabi overlap and obviously there are words that are rooted in arabic which has come in useful for me at one point.

I don't think this is in anyway racist OP, in the same way as Swedish DH and Norwegian friend can understand each other to a degree but DH wouldn't claim to speak Norwegian nor would Friend claim to speak Swedish.

DH is often asked how much overlap there is in the Scandi languages, he doesn't mind explaining at all.

And the Urdu script is arabicised which is why I thought it might be easier for me

So bored of people being worried about every little thing they say due to people claiming it to be racist. It feels more divisive than ever!

Tbh I feel a bit scared to talk about anything vaguely personal or not directly work related. But perhaps one should only engage in work related conversation and how was your weekend stuff

But you weren't. So you'll be fine if it does get bought up. Which it won't.

The poster has anxiety. Do you think that's going to help?

and you’re unkind. we all have our crosses to bear.

mine is from history of DV, what’s your excuse?

You don't need to explain yourself. Loads of people have anxiety for many or indeed seemingly no reason.

Take care, and good luck with your studies

The accuser is ignorant. I would probably speak to them about making such serious accusations.

I speak French reasonably well and basic Spanish. If i was talkkng to someone who was Spanish i.might comment there are similarities- tget woukd not be racist, just as your comment was not racist.