Was I racist?

[Worrywartandall]

im going to try and keep this as non outing as possible but at this scenario occurred at work.

i am learning a non European language because i think it’s a great skill and it is the language of my in laws.

the language is somewhat similar to other languages of the region, so, as I’m told by dh and my teacher. There are lots of dialects and often even though one’s native tongue is A, they’d often be able to understand the language or B and C due to the linguistic similarities. Maybe like Spanish and Portuguese but more close.

for the purpose of the thread I am learning language A, the language of my dh and in laws. Colleague speaks language B. Small talk about how my lessons are going, I said such and such topic and the words, I said oh you might know some of the vocab I learned and be able to correct me if I’m wrong. Colleague didn’t know the words, fine, there are differences and similarities between the languages, these so happen to the difference.

i then got told by someone who overheard that this was a bit racist. They later said they were joking but I’m not sure if they back tracked because of how panicked I got.

it absolutely wasn’t my intention and I assumed it was common knowledge and widely accepted that there is overlap. I’m now in bits and catastrophising, specially given the backdrop. I explained my understanding of the cross over in languages and I definitely wasn’t implying because the persons ethnic background they automatically know other languages from the region and I wasn’t implying they were one homogeneous group.

i chatted to dh and he thinks it’s fine and the other person was on the wind up. But I am worried I was inadvertently racist.

please do try and be kind, I have anxiety already, which is now through the roof

That’s the thing, because the person is more senior, there is an imbalance of power, and I am aware people do tend to agree with the boss, although this colleague in general wasn’t offended. It was also in a large group of people who then after the accusation sort of got brought into the conversation, so I felt very on the spot and then a bit of the butt of a joke when it turned into a ‘joke’

Hopefully as it backfired they will think before they speak next time.

I dont even know what it means to be 'racist' is anymore 🫤

Do you know the saying “A language is a dialect with an army and navy?"

It means fundamentally it's politics that decides what gets the status of a language and what's "just a dialect". The PP who mentioned Serbo-Croat is a perfect example.

It's not racist. Your colleague that thinks it was is ignorant. English word "Thank You" and Sanskrit the language which influences many Indian languages "Thanavaad" - meaning thank you is similar due to both languages having their origins in Central Euro languages.
People who understand the study and development of language can expand.

Another way of saying thank you in India is "Shukria", most islamic countries have variations of this and would know what you are saying.
I often have fun working out the similarities of a language with others and if I'm watching a show.
The Turkish Detective on BBC - I was surprised how many words were similar to my mother tongue of Punjabi - not exact but enough to know what they were saying and the meaning / context.
For instance, when Cetin introduces Mehmet to his wife and she says "Musafir" meaning guest - my ears pricked up and I watched that show just to see what else I could understand. We would guests as 'Purana', 'Musafir', Mehamann'.

Is your husband's language Mirpuri?
That isn't that hard to learn perhaps just learn that rather than urdu.
Urdu is like Hindi, like English - a national language, they are not mother tongues.
Punjabi, Gujarati, Mirpuri, Bengali etc are mother tongues - you said you wanted to pass on the heritage to your kids. Regional languages are dying out sadly.

It’s not but it’s very similar, or so I’m told. Although his dialect and those who speak mipuri could converse and understand each other entirely, perhaps it’s prononciation or the sort of difference between American and British English- I don’t know.

i just have no mechanism to learn his dialect, and no one to teach me (he won’t, point of contention). Interesting you say those regional languages are dying out, I assumed as they were widely spoken in the home, they were keeping alive

Interesting, I know the Arabic word for thank you is shukran, I’d always assumed that the shukria of Urdu was an Arabic loan word. Thank you! You’ve taught me something new!

You are right. Our Shukria does come from the time of the Moguls. So the Arab world has first dibs on it :)

Punjab means Five rivers in Farsi / Persian - the language of the Iranians.
It's a language that can be lent towards Farsi or Sanskrit / Hindi.
Regional languages are dying out in favour of Hindi, Urdu and English although the English sounds very functional. Very political and probably not the forum to get into it.
What I figured every state onwards it changes slightly - I don't have a problem in understanding languages like Hyranvi, Sariki, Mirpuri - but I don't understand Marathi at all. I think that must be more purer to Sanskrit. If there is an Indian from Maharashtra on here perhaps they could explain.
There is a joke in India amongst the actor / Bollywood fraternity who are 90 per cent of Punjabi origin - that a Punjabi can learn English but never Hindi properly! It's just a joke. However, I think the thinking lies in that the northern languages do have a mixed base more than the language in mid India and the south. I'm not an expert clearly just my experience.

The PP that said they were told that Urdu was too polite for swear words, that is correct.
Urdu, Sanskrit etc if spoken by someone with pure knowledge, you would not find swear words. The swear words are within the regional languages / the mother tongues.
Example - Sikhs speak Punjabi, mother tongue due to Sikhi being borne from the land that is Punjab. However, the language of the Sikhs is Gurmukhi where you won't find swear words.
No one speaks this in this country, it strictly resides in the Gurdwara / Sikh temple.
I'll leave you with one more fact - some Punjabis / Sikhs refer to Urdu as Shahmukhi - that is an ultra polite way of refering to the language.

I thought Gurmukhi was the name of the script used to write Punjabi, not a language itself. Was I misinformed?

The person who called you racist is an utter moron. That’s all there is to it.

It isn't that black and white.
Yes, it is a script - official script of Sikhs.
However, if you listen or can read it - it's not Punjabi as everyday Punjabi is spoken.
For instance, a Muslim Punjabi and Hindu Punjabi would not utter most of those words.
Having said that not even Sikh Punjabi's these days.

Like a PP stated - politicians decide what is a language, a dialect - a script even.

To clarify - the Punjabi alphabet is the Script known as Gurmukhi.
The Guru Granth Sahib Ji is the 11th and final Guru and the Sikh equivalent of the Bible.
The language within that is Gurmukhi. Not Punjabi as Punjabi is spoken by Sikhs, Hindus or Muslims.
Academics can explain this better I'm sure.