Why to men always feel the need to tell me about their wives?

[Mousefoot]

My social life is such that I meet a few new people most weeks. I find that men, often I. The first few sentences will mention their wife or their partner, often completely out of context. They'll find a way to say I went with mt wife, or my GF said....

It doesn't matter as such. I'm not chasing them in any way, just trying to make polite conversation in the same way I do with the women I meet, I just find it interesting.

Are they assuming that I must fancy them? Are they protecting themselves from themselves or from me? Is it really just a natural thing? Or am I doing something that makes them feel the need to get it out there? Does it happen to everyone?

If takes a difference, I'm middle aged and very ordinary looking, quite the introvert, but making an effort.

Or people talk about what’s important to them?

Tbh yes I mention partners when I don't want any awkward vibes or them to think I'm interested

Maybe, but women don't mention their OH's in the first few sentences.

If you are genuinely finding that men make it a point to tell you about their wives or partners, rather than their coming up organically in conversation, then evidently you come off flirty whether you intend to or not.

If takes a difference, I'm middle aged and very ordinary looking, quite the introvert, but making an effort.

Then they probably just talk about them to everyone, some people do 🤷‍♂️

Also because you're a woman and so are they, it can be like they're trying to find a 'connection' to you.

But why would you automatically think they think you're interested, within a few sentences of meeting someone?

They're arrogant and think you fancy them.

It's pathetic really.

My boyfriend at the moment told me he thinks a couple of female friends have fancied him. I'm sure he believes that.

How do you know this?

It's not like you've met all women?

Or they say it to put you at ease by signalling that they are not trying to flirt with you and are just being friendly.

I'd be amazed if that's the case. I'm usually struggling to make any kind of small talk, and asking then a question that I hope will keep them talking for a bit.

I haven't met all men either, I'm telling you about the ones I meet each week.

Haha someone did this to me last week OP.

I think he assumed I fancied him!

Gave us all a good laugh though.

Yes, this too.

Perhaps they've been accused of hitting on people in the past when they haven't been.

I do, I always drop in his existence quickly.
I do it because I have been married since I was 18 and conversations used to get awkward quickly.
At 42 people aren’t cracking on to me but at 18/19/20 a lot of the time they were and it made life easier if it was clear it wasn’t an option from the outset.

but women don't mention their OH's in the first few sentences.

So you meant the women you meet each week don't do this?

Again, how would you know unless you've heard every conversation?

I've certainly had women mention their boyfriends/husbands to me within the first few minutes. Not all women but it does happen.

What? The conversations they have with me.

I often mention my DH when I'm talking to a man who's struggling to make conversation with me.

I might mention the weather too, or anything really to help the struggle.

Why are you struggling to make small talk with men you meet each week? Are they all unfamiliar to you?

You ok?

I've only ever had it happen when they thought I was flirting with them. Awkward.

Women never mention their partners to you while chatting?

People tend to do this when meeting the opposite sex to let them know they're unavailable, which is why women won't be telling you about their OHs assuming you're all heterosexual.

I think it's just a thing, people including men talk about their lives and generally their wives/partners are a big part of it.

I used to be more wary about the men who didn't say a peep!

Or how about this..... they are trying to make polite conversation.

Me: So OP, where are you from?
OP: I'm from x county/town/village
Me: Oh Ive been there with Mr Fromtheshires, it was (what I thought of it)

I spend a lot of time with men in my 99% male hobby and I pretty much always mention my DH to new people I meet fairly quickly. Not because I think they fancy me but as a defence mechanism against anyone trying it on!