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Original poster

Ice cream on holiday

300 replies

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 01/08/2024 22:50

If you were on a sun holiday how often would you allow your kids have an ice cream or treat? Just curious, am having a disagreement with DH here.

OP posts:
BeachBae · 02/08/2024 08:33

I wouldn't let an overweight child have unlimited treats, holiday or not, thats just irresponsible.

olympicsrock · 02/08/2024 08:34

It’s not just ice cream though..
I think if your son has a problem with weight you should not be parking the issue for the holiday . Think about him going back to school in September not fitting his uniform . All in moderation. If you have a fizzy drink with dinner you don’t have an ice cream in this case. Think of their teeth too!

My sons do get an ice cream a day on holiday and 2 fizzy drinks a week there but they are both very slim and active .

Original poster
Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 02/08/2024 08:34

sunsetsandboardwalks · 02/08/2024 08:28

Is it the DH who hasn't noticed or the DS himself? The wording isn't very clear.

Dh was aware of the gain but not the extent of it, for example he wouldn't have seen a crease / roll of fat. I had noticed already as had DS, and he made some derogatory comments about himself being fat a few months back. We had a chat about it and I told him it was ok because the good thing about a small weight gain is it can be easily reversed and we chatted about good and bad foods etc. Obviously that wasn't good enough as a strategy as I've learned!

OP posts:

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General food
ManyATrueWord · 02/08/2024 08:35

I have no problem with ice-cream twice a day, if you are getting a pudding what's wrong with having ice-cream even if you had an ice-cream earlier? Weird mid 20th century behaviour there.

AnnaMagnani · 02/08/2024 08:35

As he's overweight I would go with once a day and get him focusing on what a portion looks like.

So no ice cream that is too big even for an adult.

newhousenewhouse · 02/08/2024 08:35

My DS put on lots of weight at that age and then suddenly had a growth spurt and was very slim again. Don't worry.

InsensibleMe · 02/08/2024 08:35

It’s the man’s fault.t He’s in the wrong.

AnnaMagnani · 02/08/2024 08:37

Yeah my growth spurt wasn't big enough to shift the weight.

Nearly 50 and still got that 'puppy fat'

NorthernGirlie · 02/08/2024 08:38

We're on an AI holiday at the minute. DS and his new mate had (to my knowledge) 4 Oreo ice creams yesterday

They're both 12.

Sitdownrosa · 02/08/2024 08:40

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 02/08/2024 08:34

Dh was aware of the gain but not the extent of it, for example he wouldn't have seen a crease / roll of fat. I had noticed already as had DS, and he made some derogatory comments about himself being fat a few months back. We had a chat about it and I told him it was ok because the good thing about a small weight gain is it can be easily reversed and we chatted about good and bad foods etc. Obviously that wasn't good enough as a strategy as I've learned!

Show quote history

Your child raised concerns himself that he was fat and it's affecting his self esteem and you've basically done absolutely nothing about it?

You're the one providing his food, and presumably dishing it up - you're letting him down.

Cailin66 · 02/08/2024 08:40

This thread and AI holidays really give a glimpse into why there is an obesity crisis in children.

Starfish3 · 02/08/2024 08:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 02/08/2024 08:43

@GoFigure235 he is at a coding camp for a week so not much activity there. But I'm lucky I don't work during the Summer so I can create a more active schedule for both of us. It would probably do me good too. I'm also the homemaker, I work PT term time so always home after school and on school holidays whereas DH works long hours, often not home til after dinner. Basically I'm the food person in my house with all the responsibilities that go with it.

OP posts:
Youcantcallacatspider · 02/08/2024 08:43

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 02/08/2024 08:34

Dh was aware of the gain but not the extent of it, for example he wouldn't have seen a crease / roll of fat. I had noticed already as had DS, and he made some derogatory comments about himself being fat a few months back. We had a chat about it and I told him it was ok because the good thing about a small weight gain is it can be easily reversed and we chatted about good and bad foods etc. Obviously that wasn't good enough as a strategy as I've learned!

Show quote history

It's a worry that he's being so derogatory about his own weight OP and has a dad that's projecting that he's ashamed of his weight. I think it's vital that both you and dh approach this with positivity.

Don't focus too much on him needing to lose weight. Focus on 'the whole family is going to be more active and eat healthier' insist on going on long walks/bike rides/swimming over the weekend. Don't give so much as a hint that this is related to his weight. Make meals with tonnes of veg and lean meat. Limit what sugary snacks are actually available. Is there any sports he's into? Enrol him in a class if he isn't already. If you genuinely want to give him the best shot at being more healthy and not shame him into making his weight even more of an issue then it's going to have to be a whole family effort

RandomUsernsme123456 · 02/08/2024 08:46

Once a day.

somepeopleareunbelievable · 02/08/2024 08:50

I was going to say it depends on the child even before the update. It also depends on how many holidays you take (is it genuinely just 1 week once a year? Or do you go away more often?). One of my kids is slim and will eat healthy foods by choice - there is no problem letting him eat what he likes on holiday and giving access to unlimited ice cream as he might eat treat foods for a few days, but not to excess, and easily returns to his normal healthy diet. My other son is neurodivergent and is utterly obsessed with sugar - with him, even on holiday, I need to quietly monitor what he eats and make sure the treats don't appear too often (obviously I wouldn't stop him if he was offered or lots of other kids were having a treat) - as he has no ability to stop and will eat to excess in a really unhealthy way.

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 02/08/2024 08:51

Oh yes
Ice cream o'clock a definite thing. I wouldn't count something as a desert in this.

NewtGuineaPig · 02/08/2024 08:52

Every day but not more. Grandparents once decided to let DS have about 3 in a day when they were looking after him and had to deal with the resulting bowel fallout Confused

Oganesson118 · 02/08/2024 08:57

On holiday, every day. One would usually be enough but honestly if she had a cone in the morning and a lolly in the afternoon, or an ice cream in the day and some for pudding at night I really wouldn’t bother. It’s different from being at home.

Ellie1015 · 02/08/2024 08:58

Normally would agree with you but as son overweight i would be having less treats as a family, agree one ice cream/cake per day. Otherwise just giving him a bigger weight loss to achieve once at home.

I would also be encouraging more activity, not saying he needs to move more like dh did though more "let's play catch in the pool" after he has had some relaxing time.

BrigadierEtienneGerard · 02/08/2024 09:00

As often as you like.
(Love to have seen anyone brave enough when I was a kid to tell my Mum she could only have ice cream once a day on holiday!)

bruffin · 02/08/2024 09:00

WickieRoy · 02/08/2024 08:28

Sorry @Perfect28 , that kind of sensible attitude isn't allowed on MN food threads I'm afraid.

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Totally agree
MN is really not good for food advice, its full of posters with food issues and eating disorders who lunge from one fad to another, the latest being UPF.

Books like the one mentioned by @Whynottrythis are written to scaremonger as sensible advice does not sell books and MN readers are not intelligent enough to know they are being conned.

Scottishskifun · 02/08/2024 09:00

There are ways to approach this sensitively and proactively. Holiday is not the time to do it nor is the way your DH is going about it today by the sounds of it!

You both need to be careful that you don't force him to develop a lifelong issue around food or become a secret eater etc. Scalding him for having 2 ice creams or insisting there and then he stops reading isn't going to be the thing that helps right now.

The only thing you related to it on holiday should be swimming but making it fun!

The middle ground for today is getting an ice lolly from the shop instead as they are lower calories but still cooling and simply say to them all tou had double large ice creams yesterday which was pricey today it's ice lolly only

Stravaig · 02/08/2024 09:02

Associating food with treats is our collective problem as a society.

On holiday, somwhere new, possibly beautiful, ideally nice weather, having new experiences, enjoying time with the people you love, without the humdrum pressures of work or school or chores. How is all that not treat enough? Enjoying lovely food, different food; why does it also have to be an excess of unhealthy food?

Holidays are a perfect time to steer towards healthier habits, everything is different anyway, the usual routines already broken.

HolidayBurden · 02/08/2024 09:03

If your DH makes a huge deal of this he will give your DS issues for life. My dad did this to me and it's made my life hell, he did some awful things, and it's had the opposite effect than he wanted.
You've already said your DS is aware so he doesn't need embarrassing/ shaming. Your DH needs to be supportive and do activities with the kids making it about health not weight.
Have the holiday and let the kids enjoy. Look at family health when you get home. Both my sons had periods where they put on weight and then grew taller not long after.