Please shared with me your experience of having a girl then a boy

[Limejellytoast]

Not really a standard gender disappointment one, so please don’t jump.

I have a daughter who is 3 and I am expecting a boy this winter.

First of all most of my pregnancy was general disappointment.

Only planned one baby, and got pregnant with a contraceptive failure. Found out quite late, wasn’t happy about the situation but really didn’t want a termination at that gestation so here we are.

Everyone has made me feel better with talking about what excellent playmates and friends for life they will be, but as a previously OAD mum I knew none of this was promised anyway. I was secretly hoping it was a girl so a lot of the lovely female sisterships I saw irl where sisters would plan baby showers and hen dos and holiday together may have a chance of happening and I did really cling onto this.

i don’t need to be told ‘two sisters might have hated each other’- that’s true. But in my experience sisters (and generally siblings of the same sex) do end up having that closer bond for life. I really did want 2 of the same for that reason.

husband is delighted about the baby and calls having ‘one of each’ hitting the jackpot but I just really can’t share this joy.

i was, and am, already a bit wobbly about this pregnancy- and I thought finding out it was a girl might quell me a bit and make me feel a little bit happier. I don’t feel more disappointed, but just the same as before. I feel so sad for the baby that I feel like this and wish it was different.

I’ve been rewatching the brother and sister team
from Race Across the World since I found out this baby is a boy 🥹

i would like some positive vibes.

I have a girl and a boy. They are 5 and 3. It was hard at first, but more due to the age gap than their genders. In the last 6 months or so they've started playing together properly and it's lovely to see. Of course, they have their moments but it's lovely to see their friendship blossom.

I was secretly slightly leaning towards hoping for 2 girls - mainly because they have to share a room! But I can't imagine my life any way else now. I love having 'one of each'!

I am also an older sister to a brother and we got on fine growing up and we still get on now.

You'll be fine.

I had a son when my daughter was aged 3. They are now adults and couldn’t be closer. Even though DS is married with children, they talk all the time. They always played together growing up and never argued. DD always says that she never wanted a sister. They visited each other at uni and even went on holiday together. They have always supported each other and DD is a wonderful auntie too.

I have three sisters and we used to fight like cat and dog. We don't go on holiday together and we don't organise things for each other.

They are individuals and might be completely indifferent to each other or they might get on.

My older girl and younger son never stopped fighting, through their childhood, However, as married adults, they get on really well.🙂

I have a girl and younger boy. They are 20 and 17 now and they get on brilliantly. They share a sense of humour and totally get each other. So don't despair.

Sounds like you're conflicted about the pg altogether - do you think counselling would help?

I have a 17-year-old girl and a 14-year-old boy.. They were best friends when they were little and still get on really well. I think they felt less pressure to be alike or be compared. It's been absolutely lovely.

I have one of each with the same gap.

As babies, they are no different. Once your new baby is here it’s just your baby! You don’t really spend all day thinking about gender, you just get on with the reality of a new baby, again. The only time it’s even a factor is when other people bring it up for whatever reason.

By the time your new baby is old enough to express anything, that will be down to his personality not his gender and you’ll just embrace that anyway because by that stage he’s part of your family.

I didn’t find out the gender of mine, and when he was born I remember thinking ‘not a clue what to do with a boy’! as I don’t have brothers or other boys. But he’s the sunshine in my life now and his gender isn’t a thought, ever. He’s just my gorgeous child who likes what he likes and brings me so much joy, as does his sister equally. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

I see you've specified positive stories so I'll keep quiet!

I could’ve written this, OP, when I was pregnant with DS. I too had a 3 year old girl and wanted her to have a sister (and me another daughter) for a number of reasons.

My little DS is now 16 months and just THE BEST BABY EVER (as DD says!) - sweet, cuddly, very chatty, he’s a total delight. He has a lovely relationship with DD, the two of them are thick as thieves and as time has gone on, I’ve realised our family has grown in exactly the way it was supposed to. They’re very similar children personality wise, and while I’m aware sisters probably have a higher volume of communication, it doesn’t actually mean they’re closer.

I have 2 sisters and a brother and while I admit I have more contact with my sisters, our relationship has actually gone a bit south as we’ve aged as we are very different people. Whereas I’m very similar to my bro and while I see slightly less of him, he is always there for me and we have a great time when we meet up - he really gets me in a way my sisters don’t.

I look back on my ‘gender disappointment’ and actually laugh now, it’s so ridiculous. You will too, even if you don’t feel it right now.

And whatever you do DONT read the boy/man hating posts/threads on here, most are frankly demented and not at all representative of real life.

How snide!

Mine are 15 and 11 and although they bicker they are very close. DS will say that DD will make a good mum because she has practiced with him and he will protect her. The other advantage is that don’t try and emulate each other and follow in each other footsteps

i used to think 2 sisters was best but from DD friends (DS mainly has,friends with older sisters) she definitely prefers having a younger brother

I have a girl and a boy - girl is older by 2yrs 7mo. They argue a lot but think that's down to their personalities but as they've got older they are showing signs of getting on better. They're 12 and 14 now for context

I have a girl and boy 31 and 29 now. They get on great. Always have done apart from occasional bickering. Son gets on really well with daughters husband and daughter with sons girlfriend. They went to the same school and always look out for each other.

Daughter is typically a bit bossy ...cue my son saying X I am 25 now I know what I'm doing!

Don't think sisters will always get on. Some do and some don't.

I had a girl then a boy. I wanted another girl. In fact I cried at the gender scan! I was extremely close to my own sister growing up, we have never fought a day in our lives, shared friends, we get on great now as adults. I have a brother too who is also brilliant but is 7yrs younger and it's not the same.

Anyway my daughter and son are now 9 & 7. They are sometimes like peas in a pod and in many other ways like chalk and cheese. They get on brilliantly. They play. They bounce off each other. They do their own things. I wouldn't change it for the world. I get to do different things with each. My son is an absolute gem.

I have a girl 14 and boy 12. They're best friends. Fight only very occasionally as best friends do but 90% time great buddies and great company for each other. If anything I worry about the day one of them brings home a boyfriend/ girlfriend.

I had my son when my girl was 3. I'll be truthful they fight like cat and dog but also absolutely love eachother and play so nicely (sometimes)

Me and my younger brother get on brilliantly, I'd do anything for him.

a very positive contribution to the thread for someone who is under perinatal mental health and struggling about the jump from 1 to 2

many thanks xoxo

Oh just ignore OP. Have you seen ET? Do you remember the little girl with the pigtails and her brothers? There’s something very special about mix sex siblings groups in my opinion. It’s not quite the same when it’s all girl/boy.

Can't say how it is as a parent but I'm big sister to 2 younger brothers, I am very close to both and always have been, they're genuinely my best friends. We go on holiday together, socialise together etc. I think a sister/bother relationship is just the best, it doesn't have the same competitive side and bitchyness that I see in sister/sister or brother/brother relationships. My brothers fought all the time as kids but never with me.

I have nearly 5 years between my daughter and son.
I was apprehensive about having a boy - just because I have no brothers or male relatives.
Mine have always been very close. They do a lot together now as young adults. He has always massively looked up to her and she has been a great influence.
Don't underestimate the power of personality. My son defied my (wrong) expectations about boys and is an amazing young man.

I had dd, ds, then twin girls. Just 4 years between oldest and youngest. I wanted dd to have a sister because I had a sister and we've always been close. But she is much closer to her brother and constantly complains that she wishes the twins had been boys too! In fact, I think all 3 girls would probably say their brother is their favourite sibling. I think it'll work out just fine, OP. Your children's sibling relationship can never replicate your own, just let it develop and enjoy it!

I have one of each in the same order with a similar age gap.
My DD has always been quite motherly towards her brother.
They swing from getting on brilliantly to arguing. Being girl or boy doesn’t really come into it with them as they have similar interests.
I think they are less competitive because they are different sexes because there is less for them to compare themselves to with each other. I feel happy having one of each.

I have a girl and a boy, 4 and 2, and they are best buddies! I think it just depends on their personalities rather than what sex they are. Me and my sister were close in age but fought like crazy growing up and we aren’t close as adults.

Also my daughter is very feisty and independent, and affection is on her terms whereas my little boy is like a cuddly puppy!

I could have written your post. One and done and very reluctantly pregnant with my second. Except I don't know the sex yet. I'm really hoping it's a boy though, for all the reasons mentioned on this thread. Would bet money on it being another girl though!

The great thing about not having two girls is your daughter won't have a sister to help plan weddings and hen dos and do those kind of things with so it falls to you (possibly her best friend) but you will be the closest female in her life. That's if she's interested in all things like that some woman are and some aren't.