Please shared with me your experience of having a girl then a boy

[Limejellytoast]

Not really a standard gender disappointment one, so please don’t jump.

I have a daughter who is 3 and I am expecting a boy this winter.

First of all most of my pregnancy was general disappointment.

Only planned one baby, and got pregnant with a contraceptive failure. Found out quite late, wasn’t happy about the situation but really didn’t want a termination at that gestation so here we are.

Everyone has made me feel better with talking about what excellent playmates and friends for life they will be, but as a previously OAD mum I knew none of this was promised anyway. I was secretly hoping it was a girl so a lot of the lovely female sisterships I saw irl where sisters would plan baby showers and hen dos and holiday together may have a chance of happening and I did really cling onto this.

i don’t need to be told ‘two sisters might have hated each other’- that’s true. But in my experience sisters (and generally siblings of the same sex) do end up having that closer bond for life. I really did want 2 of the same for that reason.

husband is delighted about the baby and calls having ‘one of each’ hitting the jackpot but I just really can’t share this joy.

i was, and am, already a bit wobbly about this pregnancy- and I thought finding out it was a girl might quell me a bit and make me feel a little bit happier. I don’t feel more disappointed, but just the same as before. I feel so sad for the baby that I feel like this and wish it was different.

I’ve been rewatching the brother and sister team
from Race Across the World since I found out this baby is a boy 🥹

i would like some positive vibes.

My dd1 was three when ds1 came along. They are now 4 & 7 and are the best of friends. Ds was pining for her last week at football summer camp. He really missed her. So don't despair OP, I'm sure it will all work out fantastically for you. Just wait until your baby boy is in your arms, you'll never want to let him go 🥰

Oh I have this set up and it's awesome. They're teenagers now and have always got on.

They share a hobby but are quite different personalities.

We've just been away for the weekend and they spend time together without us parents no problem at all.

They were talking yesterday about sharing a car when they're able both drive.

I have a 17 year old DD going into Year 13 and a 10 year old DS going into Year 6.

They aren’t chalk and cheese, they are cheese and crackers.

Not two teas in the pod-one is the peas and one is the pod.

They absolutely adore each other. Her friends love him and his friends adore her. She loves David Attenborough, horses, dogs and baking and so does he. Both love Uno, connect 4, chess etc She reads to him, he cuddles her. They can often be found asleep together on the sofa.

is that what you were after?

She’s 7 years older but they still watch the same stuff. Eg despicable me.

There's 19 months between my daughter (older) and my son. They get on really well (they're in their 30s now and have been on excellent terms since we got through the tricky toddler years, which they were both in at the same time - your gap is better from that point of view!). My Dad had a younger sister (2.5 years) and remained close to her all their lives. I have a younger brother (3 yr gap). We get on well enough, but aren't that close. This is to do with personality and geography, not the fact that he's male and I'm female. Nobody can ever be sure how the sibling relationship will turn out, but I'd say most people do get on with their siblings, regardless of the mix of sexes.

What I will say is having two children is great. I'm sure having one is great too, but for me two was much better. Hard work, but worth it.

@Boomer55 ditto

I’m the older sister with a younger brother. That defo wasn’t the issue. We got on and get on fine. My parents heaving a third and screwing up the dynamic caused more of a problem, frankly (there is always the opportunity for two against one).

One of each, similar gap, teenagers now. It's been mostly lovely and only gets better. They have good banter, hang out a lot and have similar tastes in games and films. On holiday all they do is swim together and play in the water. It's a hypothetical scenario but would I rather have two kids same gender? No.
Lighthearted: Baby boys poo nappies are easier to clean up than girls.

I have two dd's so can't comment on being a parent of different sexes but I do have an older brother and growing up it never crossed my mind that having a brother was worse than having a sister.

We did fight terribly at times but most siblings do regardless of sex but as adults we get on really well.

I was delighted.

Always wanted a son, didn't have a father around, no brother. grandad died when I was an infant. Just wanted to know a platonic love with the other sex though I loved my DD , my first baby will always be special.

I also bloody love my son.

What can I say ? I treasure them both - also they get on like a house on fire, big sis slightly protective.

Mine are the other way around, boy is 5, girl is 2. I was super disappointed (read devastated) to find out ds was a boy at the scan - BUT - this only lasted until he was born. Then he was just my baby and I loved him completely.

It's funny looking back, I actually was leaning a bit towards wanting a boy for my second as my son is the cutest loveliest little person ever. Now they play so nicely together, he teaches her games and loves her completely.

Sex doesn't matter. They'll be lovely little people together.

I have one of each. My dd is 4 & ds is 18 months. There’s 3 years between them.

It’s a lovely dynamic and they really adore each other. I find myself smiling watching them play together.

Dd really looks out for him & is a protective big sister & Ds lights up when dd comes into the room. He runs up to her and they giggle constantly, playing silly games.

I hope their relationship continues to grow.

I know that people often have an idea about same sex siblings getting on better/being closer etc but that’s not my experience, there is also more likelihood of sibling rivalry when they are the same sex.

Mine adore each other 💕 I wanted boy then girl as I'd always wanted an older brother, then when I had my first and she was a girl I just adored her so much and assumed I'd have another girl, when I found out ds was on his way (they're 2 years apart) I was not excited.

Could not have been more wrong! They're perfect together and my little boy is the sweetest most affectionate person. They're so close, thick as thieves, I love it. They fight much less than my friends kids who are same sex!

Completely depends on their personality not their gender/sex. Bring them up without forcing gender stereotypes on them or treating them differently to avoid jealousy/resentment. I have boy/girl/girl and they all get on well (most of the time) due to having similar interests and generally being outdoorsy. I have a twin brother and I always got on wonderfully with him and still do. My Mum has 3 sisters and they bicker so much and are pretty snidey with each other most of the time.

DD 20, and DS17. They are very different people, but get on really well together. They've never squabbled or fought. DD is at uni and spends regular evenings playing online games with DS!

Girls pee towards your boobs during nappy changes and boys pee in your face - be warned!!
I have a 5yo DD and 1yo DS, kind of wanted two the same but these 2 are perfect 😍

I had a girl then a boy 7 years apart , never planned a big gap but ttc didn't go to plan. They get on so well (now teenager and early twenties) and always have. They weren't in competition, she was absolutely besotted with him when he was little.
On the other hand me and my sister only talk every few months and have never had anything in common.

I have a girl and a boy with just over 4 years difference. Dd was absolutely devastated when we found out we were having a boy, she had her heart set on a sister but from the moment he arrived she has been like a second mum to him.

They are teenagers now and they genuinely love each other, they have their own lives and friends but equally happy to hang out together, they have gone to the cinema together tonight 🙂

I am also the older sister with a younger brother too, and while we have had our fair share of squabbles (we are in our 40s and can still get into it 😀) I love him to death, I enjoy his company, he is smart and funny and a good person. I know where ever I am in the world and whatever I am doing he has my back as I do his.

As an added bonus, he married a fabulous woman who is like a sister to me and they gave me two gorgeous nieces who I adore. Can't reccomend highly enough having a brother, it's awesome!

I have a 14 year old girl and 11 year old boy who get along really well. They each have their group of friends but when we travel or on weekends they do things together a lot - play a computer game, go for a bike ride. They share interests (both great readers, both play football) and although they bicker, they are very protective of each other and proud of each other's achievements.

I think you need to speak to someone about your disappointment. PND is more likely in unplanned pregnancy. Boys are great. I have two.

I have a dd (19 this month) and a ds (16), so quite similar to your age gap. They've always got on brilliantly and are still great friends. Dd was brilliant when ds was little. They had lots in common as younger children. I liked the idea of having one of each, so I was delighted when dc2 turned out to be a boy!

I have a girl 9, boy 3 and two step children boy and girl (both older than my children with a small age gap). What I have found is that all 4 of them are completely individual and different. My girl and the oldest boy get on so well they are like besties. Oldest daughter loves my youngest son. This can cause drama on occasion but generally they all get on so well despite age gap. But in my experience gender has absolutely nothing to do with getting on with each other, and their personalities are not just based on gender.

Sorry you are feeling so low OP. I felt like this about my unplanned pregnancy but around 36 weeks the cloud lifted and loved my surprise baby at first sight. Be kind to yourself and dont be afraid to talk to your GP or midwife, I bottled so much up.

Anyway to answer your question my first two (planned!) pregnancies resulted in a girl then a boy.
They were very close up to secondary school but sadly have started to drift apart in uni years but I'm hoping it's a blip!
I think being different genders stopped a lot of fighting jealousy and competiveness they were each unique ( I know all children are unique but maybe they don't feel it)
My daughter played with toy workbench, son pushed a toy pram, no stereotype toys as everything was available to both of them - again I know you can do this anyway but probably easier when you have one of both sexes, so they both had equal opportunity to explore what they really liked to play with whereas most of their friends didn't.
They got on well with opposite sex, weren't awkward or embarrassed, DS is very intuitive around girls, understands Periods etc
This is just my experience everyone is different but having DC of both sexes is great:)

I have a 4 year old DD and a 2 year old DS.

My DS was and is the most cuddly, happy little boy. It has honestly surprised me how genuinely lovely he is and he always wants cuddles from me.

His older sister has adored him from day 1. I have so many gorgeous videos of them hugging and laughing and giggling together. Obviously now he’s 2 they do get into squabbles but overall they both absoloutly adore each other. They’re lost without each other to be honest! As I’m typing this they’re laughing and playing in DS’s bedroom as DD is ‘helping’ put him to sleep and he keeps pretending to go to sleep then laughing at her.

He does like to steal things she’s playing with and run away with them though just to get a reaction. He’s a cheeky boy 😂

Also to add - my DD loved helping out and bringing nappies and wipes and anything at all to help when I was changing my DS when he was a baby. She wanted to push his pushchair, sit together when they eat, and now she wants him to have a sleepover in her room 😅

I do think it is individual personalities though and I know things can change. But right my two are as close as siblings can be right now!

Your daughter is 3 now and possibly 4 when your son is born. I think a 3+ year gap is fairly big as your children wouldn't be into the same things even if they were the same sex. I'm very close to my brother but we're much closer in age. I have friends with sisters and they're not that close.