Please shared with me your experience of having a girl then a boy

[Limejellytoast]

Not really a standard gender disappointment one, so please don’t jump.

I have a daughter who is 3 and I am expecting a boy this winter.

First of all most of my pregnancy was general disappointment.

Only planned one baby, and got pregnant with a contraceptive failure. Found out quite late, wasn’t happy about the situation but really didn’t want a termination at that gestation so here we are.

Everyone has made me feel better with talking about what excellent playmates and friends for life they will be, but as a previously OAD mum I knew none of this was promised anyway. I was secretly hoping it was a girl so a lot of the lovely female sisterships I saw irl where sisters would plan baby showers and hen dos and holiday together may have a chance of happening and I did really cling onto this.

i don’t need to be told ‘two sisters might have hated each other’- that’s true. But in my experience sisters (and generally siblings of the same sex) do end up having that closer bond for life. I really did want 2 of the same for that reason.

husband is delighted about the baby and calls having ‘one of each’ hitting the jackpot but I just really can’t share this joy.

i was, and am, already a bit wobbly about this pregnancy- and I thought finding out it was a girl might quell me a bit and make me feel a little bit happier. I don’t feel more disappointed, but just the same as before. I feel so sad for the baby that I feel like this and wish it was different.

I’ve been rewatching the brother and sister team
from Race Across the World since I found out this baby is a boy 🥹

i would like some positive vibes.

From what you've said, it sounds like you're struggling with the pregnancy full stop. If you knew you were having another girl, you wouldn't suddenly feel okay.

Two little ones is hard. Lovely but relentless and exhausting. From experience, I would say get in as much support for you during the early years.

Hope things are better than you fear.

I have 3DC, 2DDs and a DS. All teenagers. Both DDs adore DS, they are not closer with each other than him because they are the same sex. I'm one of 4 and the one I get on best with is on of my DBs (TBF he's probably all our favourites!), DH is one of 3 and he gets on better with his DSis than his DB (I also like his DSis more).⁴m

I think if you have 2 DDs or 2 DSs then they can be compared all the time which can be destructive. With a DS and DD you can have a lot of gender stereotyping. Not sure if that is better or worse? Just forget what is between their legs and treat them as individuals. They will not fit the stereotypes because nobody does, just love them for what they are.

I have a girl then 2 boys with an 8 year gap between my 2 ds's. My older 2 DC didn't play together very much as DC. They had their own hobbies and friends. As adults they are closer. My 2 DS's despite the 8 year age group are tight. Before my elder DS moved away they often went out to the cinema or for a drink together with and without their other friends. I don't think it's to do with sex but more to do with the personality of the DC.

Also OP sons are wonderful, very loving when DC and thoughtful as adults.

As a result of the title I'm stuck with Chumbawaba's...

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink
She has girl baby, she has a boy baby
...

This must be quite common wanting the same as you already have. I was the same had a girl and wanted a sister for her even thought there would be several years apart.

I shed a little tear at the baby scan, it looked like I was just emotional seeing the little baby but i was a little sad finding out it was a boy.

Fast forward a year and I couldnt be happier. Hes the most perfect happy little man and I couldnt imagine my life without him in it.

The gender disappointment did stay with me slightly whilst I was pregnant but honestly the moment he was here it was always meant to be

In the oldest girl to 2 brothers.
The 'when we were kids stage' we argued like cat and dog but always loved each other. The two brothers argued worse, they were at necks with each other.

I'm 30 now, my brothers are 25 & 21. I'm equally close to them both, in very different ways. They are mates but not emotionally very close.
My brothers are my best friends in the whole world. I'd do anything for them and they know it. They'd do anything for me too. We still bicker from time to time, well only with the 25 year old. But we have such an incredible bond. I'm so glad I grew up with brothers. I was always out playing in the dirt with them, finding worms and spiders. Playing hotwheels and as we got older supported them through their firsts. Relationship, heartbreak, job, first house move etc. our mother is / was horrible to us all, so they tend to come to me a lot about their things a boy would go to their mum about.

That's my little life story with my brothers. They've taught me the most lessons in life, and I wouldn't be where I am today without them.
Brothers are awesome.

And I'll add, I don't think there's anything in the world like a brotherly love to their sister. Maybe I've been super lucky. They are fiercely protective of me, their love is like no other ❤️

Two girls and then a boy. They're all very close but the younger two are particularly tight.

There's no guarantees in any of it. Two same gender or different, age gaps big or small... none of it matters or is a predictor of how close they'll be. Personality of the kids and your attitude to them is the important stuff.

All the best, op.

I have a DD then a DS. They are 100% the best of friends. I think it helps them to be treated as individuals to be girl/boy and to have less rivalry. They are alike in many ways but different too.

I'm pregnant with number 2 and a 3yo DD

I have the same worries about having a boy, this thread has helped

Not snide at all. I'm not mocking or criticising.

What was the actual point in this reply?
Please could you care to explain? What did it gain?

I had a girl and then a boy. They've always got on well and played together. Now they're 13 and 11 and I often find them playing on the Nintendo together or snuggled up on the sofa.
I was the first child and have two younger brothers. We've always been extremely close. They're my best mates! I've never had any interest in hen dos or spa days or whatever (not all women do!) and I share many interests with my brothers. We all love the same music, comedy and a particular sport so we go to a lot of events together.
I have to say I know quite a few women who aren't close to their sisters or have rather complex relationships with them. I've never felt I've missed out. My brothers are my favourite people.

My daughter is 19 months older than her brother, as kids they would fight like cat and dog at times but woe betide the fool that tried to hurt or upset their sibling. They often went off for the day together as teens and now, as adults they still often go out together along with DD's husband.

Maybe not but you were mean spirited and your comment was completely and utterly unnecessary and designed to upset.