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Very toxic

37 replies

Shitmum2024 · 30/07/2024 17:01

This is complicated. So dd has an ex from a while back. He went to prison due to DV . He was let out of prison on several occasions but only for a few days or so as he breaks restraining order and ends up back in prison . He's done 4 years when he was originally meant to do 4 months . But he's fucked up so much it ended up being 4 years .

So he got out recently. He managed to contact dd. She ended up ringing him
via social media and told him to fuck of leave me alone this has gone on to long leave me alone. And she never heard anything more.

A short while later I get screen shots of the contact that I explained above. But they were sent from my 17 year old son. Who is hanging out with DD ex friend shes 27. who has a massive vendetta against my family. The only way they could have got them school shots was if DD ex sent them to the ex friend. So theses screen shots were then being used to say dd kids are going to be taken away etc... DD then had to contact the police, social services, and DV advocate. And she had to report the contact and admit that she rang him to shout leave me the fuck alone etc. So that side of things are being dealt with .

Forgot to say . There were also messages from the ex friend to dd ex boyfriend that said have you spoken to her yet. So we are thinking the ex friend tried to set it up.

So far dd ex friend (27) has done the following (some are petty)

When dd got her council place because of DV . The girl went ape shit . Tell dd she had played the system skipped the housing waiting list etc .

She contacted me telling me that dd was going to get back with her ex and she has evidence that she's going to show social services and gets dd kids taken away . She was extremely convincing. I managed to get her to show me the evidence. And what she showed me was not the same as what she had been telling me .

She told people that dd was slagging of her children. Then she changed it to my ds was slagging of her children.

She's told me ds that I have been taking his pip money .and that I owe him 4k. I have not been doing this at all. All the transactions are in the account. Even though there's proof he won't believe me only her.

She's also been telling people ds 17 is a pedo.

Ds has basically been staying with this 27 year old . Getting drunk with her for the past several days. She's told ds that his family have disowned him and he now has no one only her . Ds is vulnerable. And will hook onto anyone that shows a bit of kindness and says the right thing . He said to me she's not a bad person she said sorry for horrible things she has said /done .

Ds is also meant to be in supported accommodation but he has not been staying there because he's been staying with her. I'm concerned he will loose his place there. I'm not sure if he's safe being at her place.

Ds has asked me to take myself of the pip claim as appointee I am worried about doing this because he may basically drink it and she will help him spend it.

I have spoke to DS social worker. She didn't say much .

Just to add this situation is awful and complicated. It's made me feel very on edge and I don't feel I can cope with any nasty comments. Or judgement. And also the I mean this kindly comments that then lead to something unkind . If I feel attacked In any form then I will just ignore.

OP posts:
Shitmum2024 · 31/07/2024 21:21

Willyoushutthefrontdoor · 31/07/2024 21:14

My friend tried to get a new law implemented for disability hate crime and it was even mentioned in the HofC by our MP at the time. Met with deaf ears I believe. They also acted like they couldnt do anything even when her son was found dumped like a dog with 27 fractures. I am a total advocate of police but it absolutely boils my piss when they act like this and don't listen to parents concerns strongly enough. Would you contemplate going to the police with her threats? Or would you daughter?

It's the police that said thru cant do anything about her threats . That she's not breaking the law etc

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 31/07/2024 21:25

Shitmum2024 · 31/07/2024 21:00

They came today to talk about dd ex.
We also spoke about what this woman is doing and they said she's not breaking any laws etc
They did not seem intested at all . Dd was angry about it. And called her DV advocate.
And it turns out her ex is being recalled to prison.

She also spoke about the 27 year old and the dv advocate believes something can be done and they are working on getting a non molestation or simlar. She's going to help dd sort lt out. There's also a risk that dd ex has been told her address as well .

OP this is a bit confusing. First it sounds like harassment and harassment is a crime. This woman is making threats and harassing your family. As such the police should take it seriously. You can make a complaint about the officer who said they couldn't do anything either at the station or via the independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC).

Secondly the IDVA is wrong, you can't get a non molestation order against this woman. That's for domestic abuse. What you can do is build a case, take it to court and get an injunction.

Shitmum2024 · 31/07/2024 21:35

cupcaske123 · 31/07/2024 21:25

OP this is a bit confusing. First it sounds like harassment and harassment is a crime. This woman is making threats and harassing your family. As such the police should take it seriously. You can make a complaint about the officer who said they couldn't do anything either at the station or via the independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC).

Secondly the IDVA is wrong, you can't get a non molestation order against this woman. That's for domestic abuse. What you can do is build a case, take it to court and get an injunction.

It was probably for an injunction that's why I said simlar.

My adult ds suggested we fill a form in on line under harassment. The police will then make an appointment and come to speak to us. But me and dd would have to do it separately. Shame it can't be done as a family unit . But hopefully it will be seen the issues are linked

OP posts:
Shitmum2024 · 31/07/2024 21:47

@cupcaske123 I was just looking up injunction. That does not seem to cover the situation either. Maybe dd is getting mixed up. Maybe there's an alternative

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 31/07/2024 21:49

Shitmum2024 · 31/07/2024 21:47

@cupcaske123 I was just looking up injunction. That does not seem to cover the situation either. Maybe dd is getting mixed up. Maybe there's an alternative

If you bear with me I'll get the info for you, I can't do much on my phone.

First here's the definition of harassment

Harassment may include:

  • sending abusive text messages or images
  • posting abusive messages on social media
  • neighbour disputes that involve abusive behaviour or damage to property
  • repeated antisocial behaviour
  • making unwanted or offensive phone calls
It's harassment if the unwanted behaviour has happened two times or more and made you feel distressed or threatened.
cupcaske123 · 31/07/2024 21:57

Second here are the legal remedies:

The Protection from Harassment Act 1997 offers several legal remedies to address harassment:

Civil Injunctions
Demands cessation of the harassment.

Restraining Orders
These are tailored orders by the court specific to the case.

Injunctions for Protection
The High Court or County Court can grant injunctions for protection which are customized according to situation.

Community Protection Notices (CPNs)
Local authorities can issue CPNs against individuals whose actions detrimentally affect the community’s quality of life. While mainly targeting anti-social behaviour, CPNs can also apply to harassment cases.

Shitmum2024 · 31/07/2024 22:09

Thank you

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 31/07/2024 22:22

Shitmum2024 · 31/07/2024 22:09

Thank you

No problem, you can also call Rights of Women for free legal advice.

Superlambaanana · 01/08/2024 09:55

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Shitmum2024 · 01/08/2024 10:12

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I hope your rant made you feel a bit less angry . And its great the (rest ) of you are working

OP posts:
Shitmum2024 · 01/08/2024 19:14

Little up date. Dd ex has been Recalled to prison.

Theses a risk he now knows dd address. So there's going to ne a panel meeting so she can hopefully get moved.

But the risk has practically gone for now.

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 01/08/2024 19:21

Shitmum2024 · 01/08/2024 19:14

Little up date. Dd ex has been Recalled to prison.

Theses a risk he now knows dd address. So there's going to ne a panel meeting so she can hopefully get moved.

But the risk has practically gone for now.

That's good news.

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