just joined SW and shitting it a bit….

[ihatebeingme]

I was by far the biggest in the room, I weigh 23 stone 2. They’ve told me my target weight is 12 stone, and said a lot of stuff about syns. I’ve been obese for the majority of my life, since early childhood, morbidly obese since I was a teenager.

I’ve come home and cried, because I don’t think I can do this. They shout out everyone’s losses in front of a room full of strangers, the majority who don’t look like they need to lose a thing. I’m an emotional eater, I’m also on meds that cause a weight gain (given to people with anorexia to stimulate diet apparently).

I’m almost dreading going back already, I don’t know if I can be as strict as they’re saying - it would mean not eating the vast majority of my daily diet (ie, it looks like you fill up on fruit, veg, and stuff full of artificial sweeteners/low fat?)

I’m desperate for something to work because I’m massive but I’m terrified if I gain weight will they all pull me to bits for it?

You've taken the first step by going. Read the bumf they've given you, and start now not tomorrow. Make a meal plan if that'll help you. It's summer so lots of delicious salad goodies are in season.

You can do this I'll bet on a week's time if you follow the guidelines you'll be able to see a smaller number on the scales.

No one who goes to SW will criticise you nor tell you off, they've all been on a similar journey themselves.

I’ve been to SW and noticed that quite a few people just come in to be weighed but don’t stay for the meeting. They tell you it’s more effective to stay but it’s not compulsory. Why don’t you try following the diet plan as much as you can for the first week then just come in to be weighed. That way you can stop worrying about other people and just do it for yourself.

It might genuinely be that SW isn't for you OP.

I was discussing it with my parent the other day and we hated the way SW meeting were structured with everyone having to share their result and our leader was a bitch nasty piece of work who made people cry a couple of times. Maybe have a private chat with the leader to explain how you feel and see if they are willing to come up with a strategy for you to comfortably attend meetings,

WW is mainly online these days but in the groups, you aren't expected to share your result - it's optional. Out of the two I had more success with WW and there was a heck of a lot of online support via the app too.

But ultimately neither plan was great for me. Learning about nutrition/why we gain weight/harmful diet culture etc was better and I now have a healthier approach.

PLEASE avoid the UPF and artificial sweetener crap. I didn't and it wrecked my gut biome. Don't eat the bizarre quark/sugar free jelly/batchelors rice/egg/baked bean concoctions.

Focus on REAL foods. Cut back on sugar. You can absolutely lose weight but I strongly suggest finding the healthiest way for you to personally do this.

You can ask to not have your losses etc read out or not to be included and just sit and listen.
Also this leader might not be for you is there another group close by you could try?
Read the books and make a plan.

Ignore that target weight. It will make you anxious and feel ready to fail.
Focus on what feels realistic perhaps 19 stone?? Under the 20 stone range by Christmas? Make it feel achievable.

You can absolutely lose weight.

And you are bloody brave going to a SW mtg.
if that class majes you feel.uncomfy, try another.
You need to plan and get in the mindset. Planning food can be fun. Know your weaknesses and have "replacement" strategies in place. And if you have a wobble - its not game over, you can restart healthier eating.

OP have a watch of RH fitness on facebook. He may be a better option and hasnt got a good word to say about SW and their silly syns.

Come and join us on the 10 stone to lose thread! I used to be nearly 23 stone, but so far I've lost 8 just by calorie counting and moving more.

I'm 5ft 4in

I weighed 22st 10lbs

I've lost 6st so far

It can happen x

Aww OP don't tear yourself to bits, everyone in that room is there because they're not happy with their weight. Nobody will be watching you they're all too worried about how they look and feel.
It's only your loss that is read out not your weight, nobody in that room will know how much you weigh except you and the person writing it in your book.
It's a place to be surrounded by people to encourage you not knock you down. The group is useful because you get loads of support and tips from other battle worn members who've been sat in your place once.
I've never gone into a SW meeting yet and faced anybody who was mean or judgey I've never found it that kind of group and I've been to several groups for almost 20 years.
You're amazing going to the group and signing up, hold your head up.

They’re not supposed to pick your target weight - you are

Ignore the people who tell you to try something else, you've not given SW a chance yet. If some of the things suggested were that great, the cash-strapped NHS would also be recommending and paying for them.

If you take the plan as it is meant to be used, you will lose weight.
One third of your plate should be fruit or veg.
Create your meals from free foods - go through the book and highlight those you like in one colour and those you’d be prepared to try in another. Include plenty of protein so you don’t get hungry. Get the app and scan the foods in your house. If anything comes out as high in Syns, either limit how much you have of it or swap it for a lower alternative.

The groups vary. You might prefer a smaller or larger group, or one at a different time of the day or week. If after a couple of weeks you don’t like the one you’re currently going to, try another or just go to be weighed and then communicate privately with the consultant and use the app and podcasts for motivation.

OP I have lost half a stone, simply by cutting out sugar for about a month. I can't diet, don't have much will power, but I love walking my dogs, so I do that. I love wine, but had to cut that out too for the weight loss. I am also a bread addict and no way could I ever give up that.
A friend of mine eats what she wants, but cuts everything she eats in half (eg. sandwiches). She's maintained a regular weight for years and is now 56 (she started doing Park runs last year though). I myself have always eaten 'pixie portions' (the family labelled them that). I just don't like the feeling of being full and bloated and I'm a picker. I enjoy 6 x tapas sized meals rather than a massive plateful 3 x a day. I hate fruit but like salad and not so much, veg. Just find something that is doable - and do it! Good luck.

OP having such a big target is disheartening because it does feel unachievable. Try to break it down into bite size goals. Start with just wanting to get into the 22 stone range. Hopefully you’ll be able to achieve that in a couple of weeks. Then focus on getting into the 21 stone range and so on.

You can do this. I went to WW in the past and people are there to support you. Nobody is going to be judging you. And most if not everybody will have weeks where they gain or stay the same.

You’ve done the hard part by doing the first meeting!

Tell them you don’t want to say anything each week when they go round the room, I did.

I've never done SW but have always enjoyed WW meetings however I'm not sure if many of them are around these days. There's no shouting out of weights and losses there. If you had a good loss or achieved a goal the leader would always check if you were happy for her to share it with the rest of the group.

Maybe message your SW leader and say that you would be happier if your losses weren't shared with the group as you don't feel comfortable with that at the moment. You certainly don't need to be filling up on artificial sugars etc.

Looking at your goal weight is pointless as it seems so daunting. Instead you need to break it down into small chunks so you are only ever a few pounds away from your next goal. So for example if I was your weight I would set myself the following goals:

SW - 23st 2lbs.

Goal 1 - lose 3lbs to get into next stone bracket - 22st 13lbs
Goal 2 - lose 4lbs to lose first half stone - 22st 9lbs
Goal 3 - lose 7lbs to lose first stone - 22st 2lbs
Goal 4 - lose 3lbs to have lost 5% of starting weight - 21st 13lbs
Goal 5 - lose 4lbs to have lost 1.5 stone - 21st 9lbs
Goal 6 - lose 2lbs to have lost 25lbs in total 21st 7lbs
Goal 7 - lose 5lbs to have lost 2 stone - 21st 2lbs
Goal 8 - lose 3lbs to get into next stone bracket 20st 13lbs
Goal 9 - lose 3lbs to have lost 10% of starting weight 20st 10lbs
Goal 10 - to lose 1lb to have lost 2.5 stone 20st 9lbs
Goal 11 - to lose 5lbs to have lost 40lbs in total 20st 4lbs
Goal 12 - to lose 2lbs to have lost 3 stone! 20st 2lbs

And so on... each little goal is achievable rather than daunting and one step closer to your ultimate goal. Some weeks you may achieve more than one of the goals. Reward yourself each time you achieve a goal (a new magazine, lipstick, flowers etc) Just focus on one day at a time. Good luck, you've done the hardest part by joining a meeting and walking into a room full of strangers

PerkyMintDeer
It might genuinely be that SW isn't for you OP.
Exactly this- different things suit different people. Maybe go back again with an open mind but see how you go. You are amazing op, it’s so hard xxxxx

Give it 4 weeks.
If you don’t lose any weight then perhaps try something different instead.

You say you want to lose weight and the hardest part is starting.

It can be a long process but you’ll probably find that you lose weight at a faster rate than many of the other members.

Once you see the numbers going down, no matter how slowly, it will motivate you to carry on.

The first time is the hardest and you’ve already done that, so it can only get easier now!

Please keep updating this thread, as I would love to hear how you are getting on.

You can do this OP 💪

I've been going to SW for about 18 months now and have lost loads. I've never seen or heard anyone say anything negative about anyone although I understand they used to years ago. Everyone is really encouraging, if you've lost a couple of pounds, everyone applauds and celebrates with you, if you haven't lost, no one mentions it. The eating plan really does work, there's loads that you can have unlimited amounts of so no need to be hungry, some of their recipes are a bit bland, some are lush. I don't like the ready meals at all so avoid them but love the sausage patties. It's only half an hour a week and although I hated it at first, I do find that going to the meeting helps me keep going

You don't have to do this. Save all the bother and buy yourself some Mounjaro. You haven't got to the weight you are now through ignorance of what's healthy for you I'm sure, and SW is like torture. Obesity management has moved on from the bad old days, it's all much easier now, more progressive, more understanding. Get yourself on the weight loss injections board.

And may anyone who tells you to eat less, move more drown in a puddle of mullerlight.

This !!

I even had weight loss surgery via the NHS .. got from 22 to 15 stone. But my metabolism is so so so sloooow .. I stuck there for 2 years until Mounjaro was invented ...

Now 12 st 5 after 6 weeks. Yes it cost £126 per month but fuck me I saved that much in food !!

Well done on walking through the door. I have been to SW numerous times and the group I go to now is definitely the best. Everyone is so supportive and friendly, I actually don’t mind my weight loss being discussed. We’re all there for the same reason.

Like a pp said, you should choose your own target. 10 stones feels huge to lose, so break it down. Start off with 2 then another 2 etc. Don’t give up.

I’m actually sat going through my books to do my weekly shop and picking what we’re having for tea. Meal planning helps.

Good luck x

“the majority who don’t look like they need to lose a thing”

Have you spoke to any of these people? They could have some helpful tips for you. Maybe they were your size when they started. They could have been going years and go weekly to help maintain. Don’t focus on everyone else’s weight in the room just yours. Just go and give it a try, what have you got to loose? (Other than some pounds 🤞)

Speaking from experience as having been a lot bigger than I am now...

When you are bigger and not looking to lose a few pounds you would be surprised how much changing only a few things impacts your weight!

I don't agree with SW but it does help some people and so with that in mind, my diet consists of when I feel too heavy I change 3 things! Here is some examples of what I do;

-Usually that is, I drink only water and have fizzy juice with meals. (Generally I will drink it all day long so cutting from 2L to just under a litre cuts a lot of calories and stops me from depriving myself of what I enjoy)

-Switching from oil to frylight. (Usually, I buy a bottle of oil every few months as I love French toast cooked in oil but then end up using it for everything, then when it's done I switch back to frylight).

-I'm not big on exercise but I'll get off the bus a stop before where practical or I'll consciously walk somewhere, if I'm serious I'll pull out my Fitbit and monitor my steps and you can change the target on that. Like when I was at my biggest I was doing 1000-3000 steps a day. So 10k steps was a lot and so I reduced my target to 4k and then 5k etc and you get the endorphins of reaching your target.

-I'll consciously add in atleast one veggie to every meal I make.

-I don't believe in starting on Mondays etc and so if I have a take away or a bad day, I simply write it off and start again on my next drink/meal.

-Sometimes, I just make sure I have one healthy meal per day.

Honestly, slow and steady wins the race. As you are bigger, doing small realistic changes will help mountains and it's only when you stop losing weight you have to be more disciplined.

And your target doesn't have to be your target. I'm currently about 14 stone and about 3/4 stone "overweight" but I like myself this size, I'm relatively fit and healthy and I don't have a problem maintaining this weight. Every now and then it creeps up and I just do the above to bring it back down.

Good luck!!

He also yells and swears a lot. And tells you you can lose weight on 1800 cals a day. My 6ft paramedic son can't lose weight on that, because we're all different.

It does work OP. And shockingly, all the foods that they are encouraging you to eat are real foods. Basically, lean meat, fish, fat free dairy, veg and fruit. All free. Then the 'syns' are the counted treats to use as you see fit. Chocolate, an alcoholic drink, or granites and sauces etc.

All the people there who don't look like they need to lose weight have probably been where you are! They've all done it.

It feels unbelievable at the start, but it does work. 😊

Another one suggesting Mounjaro. It stops you thinking about food and makes you feel full really quickly and for much longer. If you drink alcohol you will find you're not bothered about having a drink. I've been doing it for 8 weeks now and haven't had any chocolate or alcohol in that time - that is unheard of for me!