What does MN think of how this turned out? (TW)

[PhantomSmoke]

We had an ordinary marriage. Then I found out my husband had been viewing images of child abuse

I’m a bit shocked, tbh…

I assumed those were images he saved?

I got the impression they were ones he'd downloaded. So possibly stronger evidence or more illegal than having just visited a web site.
I could be very wrong though.

Awful.

I just don't know what to make of it.

Everything is so minimised.....but then it mentions that he has category A images saved on his device.

Nothing about that is "accidental" or "stumbled upon". I wish he'd been asked to explain that.

The most terrifying bit for me? 850 arrests like that are made each month.

That's why these paedophiles aren't in jail. There are just so so many of them.

I know somebody irl who has just been charged with SA of a minor and has been convicted of a sexual assault on an adult 15 years ago and he didn't get prison back then because he came up with a boo hoo he is the victim sob story 🤨 he needs to go to prison this time but I'm half expecting to hear that his sob story routine will mean he gets to walk free again and it makes me sick tbh. When I say I know somebody I mean from afar but close enough to know details as I'm related to his victim and it's just been devastating. These men are not victims in any way and that article makes me fucking angry and I hope Matthew and his stupid delusional wife have a lovely life together (they won't) that poor boy stuck with (imo) 2 dangerous parents

You don’t stumble across the dark web- I mean why would you access it. Horseshit.

“ don't know why the Guardian published this, but it's going to give comfort to lots of men who watch children being abused, shows that it's not their fault, and not that big a deal.” ALL of this.

How she can stay with him is beyond me, vile. Shame about the timing of his dad’s birthday.

You know what? I really, really hope this isn't real. It reads like a bad advert for that charity (Lucy faithful?) so is there any small hope that it's some kind of badly written thing just to get the name of the charity promoted? Because otherwise, if this is reality for the family, the fact that this piece of shit has saved some of the hardest images and the so-called mother works in SAFEGUARDING and has just sort of brushed all this away with 'oh well we have cctv in our child's room haha it's all fine' is just beyond horrific. How can social services, the police, the mother, the grandparents, whoever just carry on letting the paedo live with the child?

*The most terrifying bit for me? 850 arrests like that are made each month.

That's why these paedophiles aren't in jail. There are just so so many of them.*

I agree, there's just so many of them.

But then they are giving people prison sentences for low level fraud and stealing, like in the example I gave upthread of a woman who got 2y in prison for stealing several grand off her elderly mum using her POA.

Nb i do understand those are also crimes and should be punished. But it's just no way near as bad as paedophilia. Not even close. That woman is much less likely to reoffend or be a danger to general society, than an actual paedophile.

We need to prioritise prison spaces for sex offenders.

We need to prioritise prison spaces for sex offenders.

I agree. The sex offender I have the misfortune to be related to through marriage should have been thrown in jail. Thousands of cat A etc. Suspended sentence, sex offenders register and sexual harm prevention order. Lucy Faithfull counselling to show remorse and a first offence. Easy as that.

I only found out about it because SS called me before the case came to court - he and his wife kept the police raid, arrest etc secret from everyone. Most of the family still doesn’t know, those who do have stuck by him saying “he’s a good man” etc. I’m the only one who’s insisted on cutting him off. My husband has got to the stage of respecting that, MIL tries to pressure me every few months.

His wife was always very lovely but quite stupid and stood by him, quoted in press as saying he’s a good man and made a mistake etc (it was over the course of years, hardly a “mistake”!). They did get some abuse from neighbours and locals but have now moved to a different area where nobody knows.

It makes me sick.

So do I. How she can say 'most of these men are not monsters, they just get drawn in' is beyond me. He is wholly responsible for his sexual desires, for his moral core. How anyone can watch child pornography and not realise they are profoundly instrumental in harming a child and ruining that child's life forever is beyond me.

I wish governments would take more moral responsibility and ban porn, gambling, all those things that ruin lives with a single click to gain online access.

Ahhh of course it's The Guardian - telling us it's not that bad.

It is that bad! And more.

She should lose her job if she stays with him and everyone needs to condemn this utter scumbag man.

No pity, no excuses, no fluffy articles in The Guardian

I think there's a feeling amongst some that having access to porn is a right. So if there is a right to see it, where is the line drawn between okay and not okay? I guess some people don't see there should be a limit at all and if you link it with 'porn addiction' you have a situation where you are entitled to watch what you like and it's not your fault anyway. Male entitlement - women and children are there to please even to this extent. A bit of a ramble there...

I wonder if she would think a man who masturbated over pictures of her son being sexually assaulted or raped was a 'monster' or not.

The fact she works in safeguarding is terrifying.

As is the fact they presumably has friends of their son over to their house without their parents knowing they're sending them to spend time with a sex offender.

Yes, I remember that.

Not sure if it was the same man, but there was one guy who chose to live out in the sticks, middle of nowhere, so he didn't corn into any contact with kids.

It's been a long time since I saw it, but if I recall, I did feel some sympathy for him.

I think he hated that he was attracted to children and wanted to make sure he could never actually harm a child.

(Of course, a) he could have been lying, b) I don't know if he had internet access / was viewing images.

But from what I remember, he didn't seem predatory. He seemed to hate that part of himself and was actively fighting it).

I cannot understand how he is allowed to live with the child. Or how she's still working.
Or how she didn't cut off his balls as he slept.

I worked with someone who was convicted, second offence, got 4 years. I found it hard to trust anyone at work for years, still to an extent.
How she can even be in the same room as him is beyond me.

It does make you look at people with mistrust doesn't it? After reading this you look at your friends and it could be any one of them. My youngest isn't quite old enough for sleepovers yet (7) but it makes me just want to say no to all of them.

This sick, pedophile couple (she is as bad as him for staying and not protecting her child) are probably all smiles and laughs to their friends and will be with school mums and dads and it is terrifying that they may let a child go and stay in that house. Horrific.

I think we should have a public register like in the USA so people know where these wankers live. When you have people hiding it like this it is the only way.

Slightly off topic. I read the guardian through Readily. Yesterday the magazine part was missing so I didn’t read the article. Have seen on Twitter today that it was pulled because of an advert placed on the page of the article for a watch company .

Terrible pun for that ad anyway!

holy fuck that's a doozy of a mistake!

(the ad placement, not the fucking monster)

That’s one of those things I feel bad about finding absolutely hilarious

I get the impression that adverts are matched to stories automatically based on key words. It’s obvious what the matching key word was here. Very unfortunate for the watch company 😬 😳

Doesn't take a genius to guess that putting "porn" as one of under 10 words in your advert is a risky strategy then haha! Is a news story about porn ever going to be a good one?!

These advertising people are probably paid quite a lot!

With this conviction he would not be allowed to work with children so why can he live with one?

And she is beyond pitiful. What is so amazing about this man that she would accept this? She is utterly desperate and pathetic.

Also hate how he says he “looked” at “illegal images”. Come on mate you masturbated to photos of real children as young as six being raped. Call it what it is.

Right? The passivity of it is disgusting. Like these pictures just straight up attacked him whilst he unsuspectingly idled on the dark web.

Yes it was all very much he was a victim who happened to just stumble along these photos
His wife even said if it could happen to her family it could happen to anyone .