Surely you shouldn't let your toddler ROAR in a cafe?!

[Worrieditsamistake]

Sat here trying to block it out but good god it's hard! Cafe in question has a very small soft play area in the corner but is is definitely NOT a softplay cafe. It's quite busy and I would say 80% of customers do not have young children.

There are around four young children playing (all under 4 I'd guess) and a couple of women who I'm guessing are the mothers are sat on the table next to the play area.

The children are having fun and there is a lot of excited screaming, which is fine. But one of the boys has been stood for ten minutes literally roaring at the top of his voice. Little fists bunched up, arms back, leaning forward and ROARING. He's definitely not upset, it seems to be part of the game (they are playing monsters or something, and the other kids are running up to him, squealing in excotemt and running away again). The mother (I assume it is the mother) is smiling on indulgently.

WTF?? What has happened that allowing a child to roar continuously i a public place is OK??!

I understand OP.
On the train this morning, a girl of about 10 got on with what I assume were her parents. She was shouting her head off when they were right next to her. They didnt tell her to quite down once. Then another family got on with 2 small kids, again, both of them yelling down the train to their dad.
No respect anymore. Kids needs to be taught how to behave in social situations.
Don't even get me started on noisy kids in restaurants and cafes. I went for dinner with my cousin many years ago at a prezzo and we still remember this family who was sitting their with their kid, making the biggest racket ever. The kid was practically being urged on by the family and they were completely oblivious to the looks they were getting from other customers.
I am 39 and I don't remember this being a thing when I was young. We were taught respect and how to behave when out in public. Times have changed a lot.

YABU - in a normal cafe not ok but in a cafe with a dedicated child area then guess what there will be kids making noise!! Go to a different cafe without a play corner if you don’t want children to be heard

YANBU. People seem to have stopped parenting their children.

I've been out with my youngest to an animal park today.

I told a 5 Yr old to stop throwing chunks of carrot (you could buy to feed some animals) at the head of the porcupine because it might hurt it.
Their mother who was laughing at her child doing it and encouraging them declared I am the "bloody fun police".
Too right I am when it comes to porcupines.

Tossers.

Bit torn on this. If there's there's soft play bit they are encouraging children to play not just sit so there will be noise. Roaring does seem a bit odd.... it's the sort of thing id be mortified if one of mine did it and they'd get a stern talking to, but I woildnt consider that someone else would be in the wrong if they didn't take their child to task over it. Cafe's with play areas during the afternoon I think you have to expect noise.

I was going to say YABU because of course there are going to be kids making noise in a cafe that has a kids area...
However when I read he was just standing there screaming and the parents were doing nothing I've changed my mind to yanbu.
I'd never let my kid just stand there and shriek for a sustained amount of time without stepping in.. even if we were in a playground! Of course kids make noise but sustained shrieking is just antisocial. Bit of laughter, occasional raised voices.. fine.. but yeah if my kid were just stood screaming top volume for more than a few seconds I'd be having words with him and telling him we would have to leave if he didn't tone it down.

It's not just children! At 8am today, scaffolders turned up to take down scaffolding further up the road. Two of the guys were having a conversation. One was talking loudly because of the clanging, but the other guy was shouting at the top of his voice and every other word was a swear word or an insult.

I closed my windows and could still hear every word from the shouting guy.

Of course there's some kids who are ASD who make a lot of shrieking noises and there would be nothing you could do about that.. but for a NT kid even as a toddler, the least you could do as a parent is keep reminding them that they can't just stand and scream in an enclosed or crowded space.

I'm in France at the moment and the difference in the behaviour of the children is huge

A simple “please don't roar Johnny, people are trying to relax” from Johnny’s mother is all it needs. Some parents just don't want to actually parent.
Crying babies can’t help crying, small children can help roaring repeatedly.

Probably ineffective at parenting at home so is hoping the little brat will shout and roar until he becomes hoarse and then when they get home he will be quiet whilst she gets the turkey twizzlers in the oven and a Capri Sun for his tea so she can watch Eastenders in peace and quiet.

It’s the difference between noise and NOISE, for me, @TinyTeachr. This sounds like a lot more than normal play noise, and I would judge the parents for not getting the child to dial it down a bit.

I wouldn’t expect a 5 star restaurant atmosphere in a cafe with a play area, but I would expect a reasonable control from parents over the noise level of their kids.

YANBU. Kids play and the normal excited playing sounds at a normal volume are fine.

I cannot ABIDE squealing, roaring, shouting, which is all forced, for extended periods of time. It’s unbearable! Especially when the parents are right there and do fuck all! I really can’t remember it being as bad for this as it is now 15yrs or so ago.

I took Dd to The Ivy for lunch today, definitely no kids roaring there!

If you want a quiet lunch you have to pick appropriate places. Somewhere with a soft play, no matter how small, is going to have loud children, that’s just how it goes.

No. I wouldn't let my child do that.
I have stop visiting places like this. My youngst is 11 yo. I am so done with all the children with no boundries.

I never bring the ND child in this situation.

I think some parents can just block out the noise made by their DC. My siblings DC has terrible behaviour and it's like they cannot see or hear it. I've even started reducing contact because my DC who are a tad older cannot handle it either.

Parents just have such lower standards now.

It seems kids are allowed to scream and shout in public, disturbing other people because “they’re just kids having fun”.

Whatever happened to respect for others ?

Playing and even some noise I get but shouting and roaring ? No.

Kids make noise when playing of course but roaring, like pretending to be a dinosaur, is different and they should be told to stop or quieten a little. I work with pre schoolers and they are absolutely not allowed roar like this around each other, even when outside. They can still play the game but a little more quietly. By that i mean they can make noise but not roaring at full capacity. Indoors they are not allowed yell or shriek. Maybe catch the kids eye and put your finger on your lips, that might help? I find kids are actually more able to regulate than we give them credit for.

I was sat in the vets waiting room a while ago with my poorly and scared cat. A little boy was running around whacking all the seats. Other people looking horrified but saying nothing. Dogs shrinking. When he got close to me I fixed him with a hard stare and asked him to please stop as he was upsetting the animals.
His mother who had done nothing to stop him at all shouted at me that I clearly had no children if I didn’t know that is what kids do.
I went to speak to reception staff at that point and they came in and asked the child to stop. The mother shut up but still gave me evil looks till I went in for our appointment.
Some people just don’t have any concern for others and teach their children not to respect anyone else too.

Why I prefer dogs 👌🏻🤣

I'd personally be telling my DC to pipe down if they were making a lot of noise in that situation. That said if it's a cafe with a play area there is going to be more noise than an more adult place.

I had my cat PTS with the noise of children screaming in the waiting room
The vet has a sign up asking if the candle is lit to be quiet as someone is saying goodbye
Reception told them to shut up, they didn't

I couldn't hold my tongue on the way out unfortunately in between sobs and said exactly what I thought. The vet rang me later to check I was ok as she was horrified by their behaviour

@spikeandbuffy I am so sorry. Horrible behaviour.

What a gross comment