Surely you shouldn't let your toddler ROAR in a cafe?!

[Worrieditsamistake]

Sat here trying to block it out but good god it's hard! Cafe in question has a very small soft play area in the corner but is is definitely NOT a softplay cafe. It's quite busy and I would say 80% of customers do not have young children.

There are around four young children playing (all under 4 I'd guess) and a couple of women who I'm guessing are the mothers are sat on the table next to the play area.

The children are having fun and there is a lot of excited screaming, which is fine. But one of the boys has been stood for ten minutes literally roaring at the top of his voice. Little fists bunched up, arms back, leaning forward and ROARING. He's definitely not upset, it seems to be part of the game (they are playing monsters or something, and the other kids are running up to him, squealing in excotemt and running away again). The mother (I assume it is the mother) is smiling on indulgently.

WTF?? What has happened that allowing a child to roar continuously i a public place is OK??!

I think some parents are a bit oblivious or loud themselves and don’t notice.

When we were on holiday over half term, the resort was full of families. Mainly primary age but lots of younger ones as well so obviously there was a general level of child noise/playing but out of all the families one dad and his young boys stood out as being especially noisy and a bit annoying in and around the pool. It was small things like allowing their kids to bring cups to the poolside, lots of sibling arguments, doing throwing games across the pool so other kids were pushed out of the shallow end or being really loud in the adult-only bit but all the small things added up to them being noticeable and a bit domineering over all the other families. I’m sure they didn’t have a clue as would have just thought they were playing like everyone else but they were just 5-10% ‘more’ than everyone else which made them noticeable.

Happy excited playing is to be expected. Roaring is unacceptable.

Normal playing noise - yes, @PivotPivotmakingmargaritas - but not roaring at the top of your lungs!

There are far more than just two options - it isn’t just a choice between absolute silence and ear-bleeding shrieking, and it depends on where you are. If somewhere welcomes small children, I expect a certain amount of noise. I think it is easier to tolerate louder noises outdoors, so I would hope for less noise - no roaring, for example - indoors. I would expect more noise in a dedicated soft play cafe than in one that caters to all ages.

Basically, it is about consideration for others - as a parent, I taught my boys to behave nicely, to use their indoor voices, and to have consideration for other people. Did we always succeed? Of course not - I’m sure we had some epic failures - but we did our best to make sure our kids were well behaved. I don’t think it is unreasonable to expect similar thoughtfulness from other parents.

I do not, and have never judged a parent who is clearly having a nightmare time with their child - I’m far more likely to give them a smile and an encouraging word, but I would (privately) judge a parent who was letting their child run amok in a cafe, roaring at the top of their voice, without doing anything to try to get them to moderate the volume a bit.

Roaring and shrieking are both utterly unacceptable.

Mind you I would never go into a cafe with a 'soft play' area, or one which advertised itself as 'child friendly. ' It would drive me wild. Many children are allowed to be incredibly badly behaved these days.

Yes happy playground sounds are genuinely lovely I agree.

It's just the appalling piercing screaming that sometimes starts when children play together. I find it quite disturbing.

If my 2 year old was having a tantrum in (as mentioned on this thread) a cathedral,
restaurant, supermarket etc I'd pick them up and take them outside until they calmed down. I wouldn't inflict that behaviour on the general public. My mother didn't, my grandmother didn't...this is just the basics of parenting, surely? You don't just let a toddler scream the restaurant down until they're finished or ruin the Easter service...you take them out.

Yes, it’s just the basics, but they seem to be out of fashion now!