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Original poster

When you get pulled to the side over your child's behaviour

67 replies

thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 20:53

I'm so mortified

Normally she listens to
Follows along

She is 6

Tonight she went rogue at football

Coach waited to the end to tell me how bad she was
So many heard and I'm so mortified

I know I'm way too soft with her
Single parent and she was abused by her father

But still!!!

I need more boundaries

So I pad banned for two days
She's not going to the next training
What else do I do?

I'm so embarrassed and just feel so awful

I know this may seem small to many I just struggle with parenting the best of times

OP posts:
Weirdaf1 · 25/07/2024 20:54

She's 6. Maybe football isn't going to be her thing.
Does she want to do it?

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 20:55

Yes she loves it

Tonight she messed all the games up
Ignored staff

OP posts:
spicysamosahotcupoftea · 25/07/2024 20:57

Have you asked her why she behaved this way?

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Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 20:57

No I need to

OP posts:
Weirdaf1 · 25/07/2024 20:57

If it's out of character for her I wouldn't worry too much. Is she tired after the school year? She might just need a break from organised things for a while.
Try not to feel embarrassed.

Justmuddlingalong · 25/07/2024 20:57

Maybe some time just kicking a ball around the park for a while.
Perhaps the training feels too restrictive at 6.

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 20:58

Weirdaf1 · 25/07/2024 20:57

If it's out of character for her I wouldn't worry too much. Is she tired after the school year? She might just need a break from organised things for a while.
Try not to feel embarrassed.

True

Thing is we had one on one time today
Got her extra treats for a good school report

Just feel so terrible
And maybe I'm overreacting
No one has ever pulled me to the side and said
She was so bad today

OP posts:
spicysamosahotcupoftea · 25/07/2024 20:58

So in the first instance, talk to her. Also explain why she's being punished etc

Did the Coach talk to her?

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 20:59

Thank you guys I feel so bad

Overthinking it all etc

How mortifying tho

OP posts:
Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 20:59

Yes

Great tips guys

I grew up in a house with no boundaries so may be why I'm struggling

OP posts:
Whothefuckdoesthat · 25/07/2024 20:59

Sit her down and ask her what it was all about. Tell her you know she knows how to behave properly so you were disappointed to hear what she’d been doing at football.

If she’s normally well behaved then I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You sound like you’re doing a good job.

Singleandproud · 25/07/2024 21:00

Do you stay for the sessions? If not you need to and you can then address her behaviour or the coach can but have you to keep an eye on her if she needs to sit out.

Does she actually understand what she did and how that impacted other people, or was it just end of term silliness?

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 21:02

Singleandproud · 25/07/2024 21:00

Do you stay for the sessions? If not you need to and you can then address her behaviour or the coach can but have you to keep an eye on her if she needs to sit out.

Does she actually understand what she did and how that impacted other people, or was it just end of term silliness?

Exactly

No I need to

Great point

OP posts:
MultiplaLight · 25/07/2024 21:02

Look at this as the wake up call.

You can choose to change things, or choose to carry on as you are.

It sounds like she may have been a low level issue previously, but has stepped it up today.

Get boundaries, write them down and hold yourself accountable. It's easier now than 16.

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 21:02

Whothefuckdoesthat · 25/07/2024 20:59

Sit her down and ask her what it was all about. Tell her you know she knows how to behave properly so you were disappointed to hear what she’d been doing at football.

If she’s normally well behaved then I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You sound like you’re doing a good job.

Thank you so much

How do I not over react though. ?!!

OP posts:
Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 21:03

MultiplaLight · 25/07/2024 21:02

Look at this as the wake up call.

You can choose to change things, or choose to carry on as you are.

It sounds like she may have been a low level issue previously, but has stepped it up today.

Get boundaries, write them down and hold yourself accountable. It's easier now than 16.

X 100

I have watched before and she is not always listening and trying to play with her friends

Low level and I let it slip

Stupidly

OP posts:
JanglyBeads · 25/07/2024 21:04

Has she had any support for the abuse from her father? Does she still have contact with him?

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 21:05

JanglyBeads · 25/07/2024 21:04

Has she had any support for the abuse from her father? Does she still have contact with him?

Dear lord. No

He should have been jailed it was that bad

He got off somehow

I'm talking extreme abuse
Serious assault aged 7 weeks old

OP posts:
Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 21:06

She carries trauma and I have been very soft in many ways

Does not seem to be Sen

Choosing to be bold today

OP posts:
Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 21:09

Second guessing all the time

OP posts:
AnotherNaCha · 25/07/2024 21:10

Awww. Don’t be embarrassed! It happens to everyone. I’m so sorry what you’ve both already been through…

Just sounds like she needs some extra connection time with you. My boundaries need firming too (same age DD, similar father situation 😔) / they actually want them to show you care

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 25/07/2024 21:10

AnotherNaCha · 25/07/2024 21:10

Awww. Don’t be embarrassed! It happens to everyone. I’m so sorry what you’ve both already been through…

Just sounds like she needs some extra connection time with you. My boundaries need firming too (same age DD, similar father situation 😔) / they actually want them to show you care

My god yes that's the truth

Behaviour here as a means of telling me she needs help with something

OP posts:
Weirdaf1 · 25/07/2024 21:11

Try to put things in perspective. She was silly and disruptive but it doesn't sound like she hurt anyone.
I think I would have a little chat with her and see if anything is going on. Explain that everyone needs to listen and follow the rules so that everyone can have fun.

AnotherNaCha · 25/07/2024 21:11

Also… I’m so sorry he got off. Mine also. And his family turned on ME! The system is absolutely f&£cked

TitusMoan · 25/07/2024 21:11

spicysamosahotcupoftea · 25/07/2024 20:57

Have you asked her why she behaved this way?

I wish people would stop asking small children to analyse themselves. Adults can’t even do it most of the time.

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