toddler...newborn...and a puppy ?

[AnxietyLevelMax]

Hi All,

So my husband and I have been thinking about getting a puppy for over a year now. We didn't want to rush it when he was working away from 5am till 8pm. but he has much better job now for almost a year (no crazy hours) and currently are going through a vetting for a different position which could lead up to even better hours than now.

We have decided this is it. we will be getting a puppy, we will take some time off each from work for a training etc. we have told our 3.5yr old toddler who is over the moon...and BOOM...I am pregnant again :)

Has anyone dealt with a newborn, toddler, new puppy and found it all manageable? We are thinking of getting one but before or right after baby is due, not now as we would not like to take any unnecessary holidays.

Are we crazy to even think about it ?

just to add...both of us always had dogs, grew up with dogs, and having a dog is nothing new to us, but it was all before we became a family. in my case I had my grandmom living with us (my parents and siblings) so we did not have any issues with separation anxiety or leaving it with someone during holidays..

Of course it’s possible. It just might not be a lot of fun.
Pets are supposed to enhance your life, not make it ten times harder.
They may have been lucky, easy dog, easy baby…
They may be sat at home sobbing because they’re regretting their life choices.
Just by being a little bit patient you’ve got much higher chance of it being a success.

No way!!!!!

Get your toddler a stuffed animal.

And get your husband one too.

best advice ever 😂

My 3.5yo has pet snails. A pot in the garden and an occasional lettuce leaf.

They escape, then the 3.5yo re-gathers them/finds new pets and returns them to the pot. It's quite entertaining and enables me to sit and watch whilst feeding the baby while 3.5yo runs around the garden looking for new pets. We never run out.

thank you.

toddler goes to nursery 3.5 days a week, i work 3 days in the office and 0.5 wfh.
husband has 2 day shifts, 2 night and 4 days off. yes to a garden, no outside help (occasionally a friend or cousin are willing to help when we wish to go abroad).

there will be weeks when dog wont have to be alone and weeks when it is a day or two if we both are at work..

i might wait and see, not sure what to tell my both boys yet

same! currently i have a jar (pierced lid) on the table outside with leafs and roly poly insects... i really hate that jar 😖

Crazy, yes. But also doable.
I had a puppy and a newborn, born the same day, alongside a 4 year old.
Assuming you are early pregnant now, and the puppy has been identified, you can have it fully house trained and a decent level of initial training done before the baby even arrives. The longer it is left, the less likelihood you have of achieving both before the baby arrives.
A 3.5 year old is not a toddler, they are a preschool aged child and more than able to come out for the short, regular walks round the block that a puppy needs.
There is no ideal time to get a puppy, there are arguments against all stages - not when you have a newborn, not when you have a crawler, a toddler etc. The list goes on.
If you were inexperienced dog owners, or first time parents, I might say differently.

I did this when I had a 3 year old and a newborn. I figured I would be tired and up in the night anyway, the house would be messy - so I might as well do it all at the same time. When the puppy could go out I had the baby in a sling and my toddler in the pram and the dog on the lead or in the pram too. It was busy, it was also lovely.
I miss those days.

Disclaimer - I did have a good puppy and a good baby which was just lucky, I won’t say it’s because I am a better dog and human mum beause that’s not true 😬

Please don't. You have a lot on your plate already. We waited until my son was about 5 until we had a puppy. He was very respectful of pup's needs.

yes, you're crazy and i actually think it would be cruel to the puppy. They need a lot of intensive training, you just won't have time for that. and it will be a lot of change for your toddler.

It is a terrible idea.

You need to wait until the youngest is old enough to be kind to a puppy.

We got a puppy from a breeder who would not put a puppy in a house with children under 4/5.

It is irresponsible and will add needless stress-wait until the timing is better!!

Will your DH be expecting you to do all the work with a toddler, newborn and puppy whilst he works?

No way, having a puppy is really hard work, without a toddler and baby on the way. Wait until the kids are older, why the rush.

It would definitely be very cruel to the dog because it will be your last consideration, naturally. Puppies are little babies who have been separated from their mums and litter mates. They are usually very needy, they cry at night, they need to be let out every hour or so around the clock in the first few weeks until you have created a routine, they can't go out for walks in the first weeks until they have had their shots, they can't be left home alone even for 5 minutes in the beginning and it will probably take 4-5 months before it can be left alone for 1-2 of hours. Meaning no baby classes for you and the baby for a very long time. You will basically be locked in the house with a crying and boisterous dog who will most likely bark and wake up your baby and toddler when they sleep. Please don't do this to your family. Wait 4-5 years until your oldest is 7-8 years and your youngest out of nappies at least.

of course not. why would you think that?

Yes it is absolutely crazy!
My dog is now a little over a year old, so we're freshly out of the puppy phase. A puppy is very time consuming and they need A LOT of attention, training and exercise. I cannot imagine having to care for the puppy, a toddler and a baby at the same time. Puppies tend to wander off and find "entertainment" (our "favourite" was him licking power sockets) if you leave them too long, same with a toddler. The two of them having a go at each other while you tend to the baby is a recipe for disaster, tears and a traumatized puppy. Also, newborn babies sometimes make movements and sounds that can elicit predatory instincts in some dogs. Same with toddlers, who tend to rund around screaming: my dog is very well socialized and I know he would still try to "manage" this sort of behaviour by herding (nipping), so I need to monitor him closely whenever we have kids around, to catch the moment when he gets overwhelmed.

What happens if you need to walk the dog while the baby is teething and screaming and the toddler is throwing a tantrum because he doesn't want to come with you because it's cold outside/ he's in a bad mood/ the dog ate his favourite toy? You will need to separate them a lot, because your baby will make a beeline for the dog bowl the moment it starts crawling, and your dog will chew on the baby toys. And your toddler will unpack all the drawers while you're taking care of the other two. Also, your LO will not understand "don't grab the dog's tail" anytime soon, and a scared, overwhelmed dog might bite. Probably in the face.

And here comes the best of it: the puppy phase is totally easy. Wait until the dog reaches puberty, now that is really hardcore. Cue in the mouthing, jumping, chasing, stealing stuff and everything you thought you've managed to train away- but with loads of newfound self-confidence and in a much bigger doggy body.

Seriously, wait a few more years, save yourself the stress. It's a lot to handle.

Out of curiosity, what breed are you considering?

Cockapoo. We spoke to many owners etc etc to manage our expectations as we had dogs before but never cockapoos.

Please don't do this OP. It's really unfair on the pup. Wait a few years when you have much more time.

No way would I do that and I'm used to 3 under 5s and a dog

The ones I've gotten to know are generally sweet tempered, but very excitable. Pay very close attention to (both!) parents when you do decide to get one. Well bred crosses are hard to find because no good "pure" breeder will cross their dogs. They're also very trendy right now, so it's even more tricky to find a good breeder. Why not a Springer?
They do, however, need to be actively taught how to calm down and are sometimes sensitive to noise (that's the poodle coming through). Might be difficult in your setup.

"Puppies tend to wander off and find "entertainment" (our "favourite" was him licking power sockets)*

I don't know whether I'm more horrified or relieved that it wasn't just ours that did that.

So many negative Nellies on here!

Obviously it's work but it could be amazing.

I'm in the thick of it as we've had DPuppy for a few weeks now and also have a baby and 5 year old.

It's been good.

We don't sleep anyway (ha!) so letting pup out at night and getting up with pup at 6am is no bother at all. With older children who sleep well, I can imagine it would be.

Kids love their new play pal.

We've been spending more time outside as a family.

Sure, some moments of 'crazy puppy' and nipping but we got a small calm breed and have a crate and baby pen so it's been very manageable.

As you say, lots and lots of families have young dogs.

I personally think it's easier to bring a puppy into the home with kids already there as they quickly adapt to the crying and mayhem.

Getting a dog first makes life tricky, as they may struggle to adapt when baby comes.

Getting a dog when kids are grown up means waiting A LONG time and then kids miss out on a pet when young.

We considered waiting until baby is 4 but we likely want a third child and waiting 7 or 8 years is too long, at least for us.

I echo the same as mumnetters . I'm currently seeking a home for a frenchie who is adorable unfortunately they brought him as a family pet. They have 4 children under the age of 8 they now realise this is a mistake . Thankfully I have found h a home .
Wait for a couple of years puppies , dogs require time , patience and security. Please don't do it there are many charities for dogs that's are inundated with dogs that need new homes . Wait a few years spend time as a family and then have another think .

Cat(s) - obvious answer.
We had four cats (three of whom were kittens under 6 months old) when DS1 arrived, and all still around when DS2 arrived.
Much less trouble than dogs 😁.