Would you let your 10 and 13 year old on London to Leeds train alone?

[Secondtonaan]

Dds 10 (nearly 11!) and 13 are staying with family in London for a couple of days in the summer hols.

We live in Leeds and an option is them getting the train from Kings X together if my mum sees them on the train at the station and I meet them off the train at Leeds.

They're both v sensible and have phones with trackers on. Would you do this?! I think so but seems a long way.

Why on earth do you think they would panic. If a 13 year old panics because of a stopped train, you are doing something very wrong as a parent.

That is utterly ridiculous.

Many years ago I travelled to school by train so from
age 11 to 16. However different times. Hear so many stories of fights breaking out on trains, weird people etc. So really depends on how streetwise and sensible your children are.

This was in the mid 70s to very early 80s. I can only imagine it’s more hazardous now

TRIGGER WARNING - BAD TASTE JOKE ALERT

Well seeing as Jimmy Saville advertised the train route that the OP is talking about in the 1970/80s and was shown travelling on those trains, if anything, it's going to be a lot safer these days.

If the train journey is mid week, in the day time, in the next few weeks, the likelihood of marauding drunken stags or football fans getting on the train is almost minimal.

Surely if they go to the toilet before they get on, get a pair of seats together, sit in them, and stay there until it's time to get off, then the risk of anything going wrong or anything unpleasant happening is so low it's not worth worrying about?

The OP can keep in contact with them during the journey and meet them on the platform in Leeds.

This exactly. There are many 11 year olds taking trains or tubes independently to and from school daily. Sometimes long distances. My DH used to have to get two buses to and from school from 11 daily right across a city. We are absolutely babying our children and it does them no good at all.

Why on earth do you think they would panic. If a 13 year old panics because of a stopped train, you are doing something very wrong as a parent.
People are different!
My 12 year old is very confident and organised and could easily do this now and could have done at 10 too,
My 13 year old probably would be ok but isn't very confident, is quite forgetful and wouldn't reliably ask for help.

I’d be a bit torn by this too but I think on balance for me it’s a no due to the risk of antisocial behaviour.
I’ve had three journeys in the last year where this has happened. One was a group of drunk lads who started picking arguements with each other and then had a fight. Second was a man with likely significant mental illness who was being very aggressive to other passengers. The third was again drunk lads on their way to a football match who encountered the opposite team. Lots of angry jeering and awful language. Felt very volatile and intimidating although by the time I got off the train there had not been any violence.

In all cases I felt a bit unsafe and certainly pretty uncomfortable and would have been significantly more so if I’d had a 13 and 10 year old with me let alone if they had been unaccompanied .

It seems a shame and a bit OTT to therefore not let them travel but it could really dent their confidence if something like that happened.

Just to point out again.. when my train had trouble...
There was no staff to ask for help. They were too busy doing crowd control.

But...
The majority of train journeys are incident free. Its just when things go wrong, they can go spectacularly wrong. And that day it was a fatality on the line... which in itself could be quite upsetting for a 10yo.

I wouldn't purely because trains in the UK are so unreliable. I have been unexpectedly stranded too many times and while I am sure they would cope ok, I know my 9 year old would become anxious and irritating, and I doubt this would change in the next year, so I wouldn't put that on the 13 year old to deal with.

Two 13 year olds yes, no problem.

Yes of course I travelled on tubes from age 11 alone. Trains are easier if no changes and they have each other. What do you think would happen?

Yes I would. I have a 10 and 12 year olds. As long as they have phones with spare battery pack!

No problem with the 13 year old - my 13 year old and friend of same age flew to the USA by themselves. I took them to security and they were picked up at the other end by the friends grandparents. They managed passport control and getting their luggage without a problem. Could phone the relevant person at either end if they had a problem. That said it's difficult to get off at the wrong stop on a plane!
10 year old I am not sure - depends on how they would behave and if they would listen to their sibling

Summer, daytime on a day without engineering works - absolutely… the kids will have a chance to show their maturity, feel good about themselves in a remarkably safe environment. (Even football crowds aren’t as sexist as they were when I did loads of solo train travel at that age)

I think most posters here aren't from London (where I assume you're from op) and aren't used to kids navigating on public transport like I assume yours do

I think they'd just call their mum if there was a problem to ask what to do

Yes I would if they are put on and collected off the train. And if they have a phone with them and are confident to phone if there is an issue.

AbraAbraCadabra

This exactly. There are many 11 year olds taking trains or tubes independently to and from school daily. Sometimes long distances. My DH used to have to get two buses to and from school from 11 daily right across a city. We are absolutely babying our children and it does them no good at “

Alternatively, some people would rather introduce their kids to the adult world in a gentler manner. I’m sure there are parents in large cities who have lived to regret putting their children on public transport at such a young age.

It’s not “babying”, it’s common sense.

Across a city aged 11 alone is questionable, which I know from a great deal of personal experience.

Of course people who feel they have no choice will try to justify it, but that’s just too young.

And if there was an issue with the train, you just tell them to get off and ring you. You would then ring station staff and get them to help. Presumably you are getting a direct train so no rural unmanned stations enroute.

I used to do this regularly but pre covid the first class kids tickets were super cheap amd I would always get one as felt they had a little more oversight. But generally absolutely no problem with doing this.

This is wrong and ridiculous but given is DD I'd say no and if it was DS I'd say maybe/yes. Sadly girls are more at risk if they are identified as being alone with no responsibility adult travelling with them. It's sad, it shouldn't be the case but in my opinion that's the way it is

I would have probably let them. You could literally take them to the train and they could be met as they get off the train. The station staff always let me on the platform without a ticket when I'm picking up or seeing off elderly relatives. I've done this at different stations too.

Thayer have phones so if there was an issue with the train breaking down then you can speak to them.

Not in a million years, and I have dc of that age.

For me, it’s because they wouldn’t cope. There’s no way they’d be able to navigate a strange station, get on the right train, not panic etc if the train terminated or got diverted.

There’s also every chance they would fall out and argue.

They also would be completely freaked out if approached by strangers etc, if drunk people were on the train, if they weren’t sure where to get off, etc.

I also just think young dc like that would be very vulnerable. It would be a no from me. Not for quite a few years.

Mine would panic. So would my almost 15 year old. But they’re not neurotypical so that may be why.

I’m doing nothing wrong as a parent, thank you, for my children to feel anxious.

But even if they wouldn’t panic, i wouldn’t send them on such a long journey at these ages. Nor would I make a 13 year old responsible for a ten year old.

Yes.

There’s always anti social behaviour on trains where I live so I’d say no. I panic taking the train myself!!