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What's going on with this man?

24 replies

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 20:02

I don't think it really matters, I clearly just need to put the whole thing behind me, but I'm interested in human nature and enjoy thinking about what makes peole tick and do the things they do.

There's a man I've known as an aquaintance forever. Since we both became single, 2 years ago, he's sent occasional slightly flirty messages and we've had some about a shared interest. We also clash a bit and have had some fierce debates. I love a debate 😆

The day after he sent a really lovely message for my birthday, we'd happened to bump into each other and after a chat were both going home to do chores. I decided I'd rather do anything else and messaged him suggesting something we could do together in the afternoon. He declined citing that he needed to get the chores done. Fair enough, except that I know he has very little work on atm.

Regardless, he's obviously not intersted, that's that. There have been no messages since, although we've seen each other at events and it's all been perfectly normal.

I saw him at a thing last night and he poked me like flirty teenagers do, came up behind me while I was chatting to a very attractive man and made me jump.

WTF?

OP posts:
Meowzabub · 17/07/2024 20:04

He was bored and putting out the feelers for a booty call.

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 20:06

Meowzabub · 17/07/2024 20:04

He was bored and putting out the feelers for a booty call.

Poking me while I was talking to someone else is a booty call? Or the previous messages were?

OP posts:
MeAgainAndAgain · 17/07/2024 20:09

He wants you to be thinking of him and pining, but that’s it.

If he was interested he’d have said yes.

He then sees you talking to an attractive man and thinks ‘hey, no, it should be me me me you’re thinking about.’ Then he pokes you.

If you want to observe this sort of behaviour for yourself just stand outside any primary school playground mid morning.

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Meowzabub · 17/07/2024 20:09

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 20:06

Poking me while I was talking to someone else is a booty call? Or the previous messages were?

The messages were a booty call.

The poking was him trying to get social credit at your expense. He saw an attractive man talking to you, and though he doesn't want you he wanted to put himself in the same category of the attractive man by showing that you knew him and gave him attention too.

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 20:10

MeAgainAndAgain · 17/07/2024 20:09

He wants you to be thinking of him and pining, but that’s it.

If he was interested he’d have said yes.

He then sees you talking to an attractive man and thinks ‘hey, no, it should be me me me you’re thinking about.’ Then he pokes you.

If you want to observe this sort of behaviour for yourself just stand outside any primary school playground mid morning.

Yes, that's exactly what it was like. The man is 50+ 🤣

OP posts:
LittleMonks11 · 17/07/2024 20:12

What happened after he poked you? Did you break away from the attractive man? I'm hoping you turned back to him and rolled your eyes.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 17/07/2024 20:16

When you say 'poked you'
I'm not sure I know what you mean...

MeinKraft · 17/07/2024 20:18

Sounds like he doesn't actually want to go out with you properly or anything but wants to flirt a bit, and likes having you to stroke his ego.

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 20:19

LittleMonks11 · 17/07/2024 20:12

What happened after he poked you? Did you break away from the attractive man? I'm hoping you turned back to him and rolled your eyes.

He made me jump, I looked round to see who it was "laughed" and went back to my conversation, but he was already walking away by then.

OP posts:
Fuddley · 17/07/2024 20:20

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 17/07/2024 20:16

When you say 'poked you'
I'm not sure I know what you mean...

Came up behind me and stuck a finger in each side of my waist.

OP posts:
TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 17/07/2024 20:23

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 20:20

Came up behind me and stuck a finger in each side of my waist.

Phew!

mondaytosunday · 17/07/2024 20:37

I've read this before (though don't recall the poking bit), but certainly the mutual going to do chores but then you changing your mind and him turning you down.
It's a non event. I don't like being touched though, so I'd have made sure he knew it wasn't on.

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 20:42

mondaytosunday · 17/07/2024 20:37

I've read this before (though don't recall the poking bit), but certainly the mutual going to do chores but then you changing your mind and him turning you down.
It's a non event. I don't like being touched though, so I'd have made sure he knew it wasn't on.

Well, the poking only happened last night and was the point of this thread. I probably have posted about him before. Is that a problem?

OP posts:
Purplefluffyflowers · 17/07/2024 20:56

If you were/are interested in him is it possible there’s a bit of wishful thinking on your part?
Unfortunately, if there was any interest I think he would have made more of an effort to hang around or find you agin to chat to you after saying hi

MakeMeAirtight · 17/07/2024 21:04

Why dont one of you just make the move already, seeing as thats what you seem to want.

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 21:04

Purplefluffyflowers · 17/07/2024 20:56

If you were/are interested in him is it possible there’s a bit of wishful thinking on your part?
Unfortunately, if there was any interest I think he would have made more of an effort to hang around or find you agin to chat to you after saying hi

I agree absolutely, he's clearly not interested, but it's not normal to go round poking people 😆

OP posts:
Fuddley · 17/07/2024 21:05

MakeMeAirtight · 17/07/2024 21:04

Why dont one of you just make the move already, seeing as thats what you seem to want.

Well I did and he'd rather do chores 🤣

OP posts:
Roryno · 17/07/2024 21:06

He’s just very immature and a game player. Roll your eyes and avoid!!

MakeMeAirtight · 17/07/2024 21:07

The poking is an alpha move, to asset his dominance over another man over you. What you do next is the freeze out - ignore him completely. He WILL come running.

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 21:08

MakeMeAirtight · 17/07/2024 21:07

The poking is an alpha move, to asset his dominance over another man over you. What you do next is the freeze out - ignore him completely. He WILL come running.

He is sooooo not the alpha against the man I was chatting to!

OP posts:
MakeMeAirtight · 17/07/2024 21:09

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 21:08

He is sooooo not the alpha against the man I was chatting to!

Was the man you were chatting to touching you? Im guessing not. His dig in the ribs showed he has a certain power over you. You cant do that to most people and not get slapped.

sentfrmmyiphone · 17/07/2024 21:12

his 'poke' was pretty much the same as a tom cat marking his territory! he may as well have slapped a massive 'taken' sign on your arse!

i'd say he wants a tumble in the hay with you, but nothing more.. you are a distraction for him, when's he's got nothing better to do with his time.

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 21:18

sentfrmmyiphone · 17/07/2024 21:12

his 'poke' was pretty much the same as a tom cat marking his territory! he may as well have slapped a massive 'taken' sign on your arse!

i'd say he wants a tumble in the hay with you, but nothing more.. you are a distraction for him, when's he's got nothing better to do with his time.

Nah he had his chance and blew it. Maybe it will make the other man sit up though 😆

OP posts:
leeverarch · 17/07/2024 22:04

Fuddley · 17/07/2024 20:20

Came up behind me and stuck a finger in each side of my waist.

He was marking his territory in front of the other bloke.

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