I think I am depressed, but I have no idea what to do

[StressedAndDepressed1]

Posting here in the hopes it might end up in me finding some help

I am 25, and for full disclosure I am overweight. I know this is bad and people will tell me how bad it is.

However I feel like I have completely lost myself. I used to be really interested in sports, could sit and read a book in an afternoon, used to love going to the gym and was really invested in eating healthily - low UPF, whole foods etc.

Over the last few months I have lost all my interest in everything. Would happily lie in bed all day. I have no passion to watch the sports I used to, I have no interest in them. I'm irritable, can't sleep, and I feel like everyone hates me. I feel like I'm letting everyone around me down.

I use all my energy to go to work. After work I'm drained, I don't want to do anything.

I lost 5 stone, and got down to 19st7. It was my lowest weight in years and I was SO proud and excited to carry on. I've put on over a stone again. I know it's bad, but I have no motivation to go to the gym. Everyone says "just force yourself" but it's so hard. I'm tired down to my bones.

I know if I go to my doctor I'll be told to exercise and eat healthy, but I just feel like a shell of a person. I feel empty, I have nothing. I am nothing. I don’t know where to turn or what to do, without being told it's all due to my weight and I need to stop being lazy. I feel broken

Bumping in the hopes of some help :(

Go to your GP.
Ask for talking therapy

There are lots of sources of help here:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/mental-health-helplines/

You did really well losing that weight!
what’s your goal weight?

My GP will just tell me to lose weight - I've been with issues over the last year and been told it - even when I went with a sinus infection. I just feel so hopeless

At the moment I want to hit 18 stone - doing it in chunks really helped me before. As it goes, I have no ambition and just eat all the time. I know it's mind over matter but fuck, my mind feels like a hell scape at the moment

Then Ask gp to refer to local cbt based weight loss programme with assigned coach you can talk to

Weight loss won't solve this though, I lost 5 stone and it's no better now than it was 3 years ago.

Being told it's all due to my weight makes me feel horrendous, and so so so judged

No not all due to weight but a good weight loss counsellor could look at other issues too so maybe is a way in with gp to get the talking therapy that might help?

Most treatment for depression is a combination of talking therapy and medication. Your GP is the key to this.
Is there anyone who could go with you to an appointment, to help you represent your point of view that your weight isn't central to the way you are feeling?
Sending positive vibes to you lovely. There is a way forward for you in this. Don't lose heart

You are not going to like what I have to say, but it looks like a good excuse to give up.... I am sure it was hard to loose all that weight and you worked hard for that, putting back on a stone demotivated you to the point of depression so now you feel like you can give up... but it's all up to you, and no gp will have an easy solution for you. And yes, I know this comment made you really angry.

I felt like this before I put the weight back on, I put it back on because I started to feel like this

My parents think mental health is, to put it politely, a load of bollocks. Gonna have a decent tea, get a good night's sleep and then try and reset tomorrow and give it all a go

What do you think is the underlying cause of your feelings?

I am so sorry you are going though this. You are not letting anyone down. Try to believe that it can and will get better.

The first step is to try and be more compassionate towards yourself. Imagine if a sister or best friend, or even a stranger, expressed these same thoughts to you. What advice would you give them? Really imagine and write the advice down. Then follow it.

Weight issues can be medically caused and beyond our control, so some of us need additional help. Your GP should be more supportive (unless you haven’t told them what you expressed here?) If they refuse to help insist or ask to see another doctor. Is it possible to switch GP and find someone more supportive? There are weight loss clinics you could be referred to and tons of resources they could provide, including referring you for counselling so that you can feel more supported in your life. Please don’t feel alone, we are strangers but I genuinely hope that you start to feel less hopeless soon. And I for one am always available if you need someone to talk to here. Good luck 😉

Going back to the deepest route of it, I was SA'd when I was 11 at school, and then bullied horrendously until age 15. I went to the GP and told them I was suicidal and self harming, and they said to lose weight then.

Covid was tough, and I had a few bereavements during 2020 and 2021.

Right now, I don’t know what's triggered it. I started to feel like this about 6/7 months ago and just can't break out of it

Thank you 🩷 my GP has been horrendous for a long time and back in January when I went to the doctor I was told "it's all due to your weight, being fat doesn't help anyone", which obviously did not help me.

It just feels like I'm wading through mud all the time

It's not about what your parents think, it's about you, what you think, the impact on you.

Being overweight/obese can have a huge impact on our mental and emotional well-being, so the suggestion about talking therapy is a good call. Please see your GP, and prepare in advance of the appointment by making a list or some notes you can refer to, or get someone (not your parents) to go with you.

I know it can, but when my GP's advice for the last 10 years at least has just been to "lose weight", i really don't think going back to them again will help

I’m sorry you feel like that. You’ve still lost 4 stone in weight. Really think the GP might be your next call 🌺

Hi OP, it definitely sounds like depression, they are some of the classic signs. The first thing to do is to book an appointment with your GP to discuss a suitable anti-depressant medication and to get on the waiting list for therapy (there are a few different kinds, again something to discuss with your doctor). It's better that you do this as soon as you feel able to because the waiting lists are generally quite long. In my area it's currently about eight or nine months, but this varies depending on where you live. While your weight might not be making you feel great, it sounds like it is largely a separate issue to your depression.

• Just saw the post about your GP's comments. That is appalling, if you've visited them to discuss feeling depressed and they've simply told you to lose weight. I'd request to see an alternative GP at your practice.

I just think if I go again and I'm told "you just need to lose weight" I might lose my shit, because I deserve to not feel like this no matter my weight

That's a huge amount

Plus you said your parents don't acknowledge mental health/emotional responses.

I think you need a different GP. Yours sounds disgraceful.

Have you had any support for the impacts of the historic SA? There are charities that support survivors.

I did about a year of private therapy a year or so ago, spoke about my SA, eating issues etc and while it was helpful to get it all off my chest, it never really tackled anything

I would try something like the carnivore diet as it is high fat and your brain needs saturated animal fat to function well. This, mixed with intermittent fasting and lifting some weights. After a month you will feel so much better.

Get a nice note book and make a start journaling how much you weigh and how much you can lift and the reps. Journal how you feel and what you learn as you go along from a deep dive into how different foods affect the human body. Make a note of everything and anything that affects you

Choosing a plan and making a journal will help make yourself accountable and make a note of any slip ups too as it's all valuable to you in the long term.