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The worst types of annoying people.

141 replies

Mysterian · 13/07/2024 16:07

The crumb leavers. You open up the pot of 'Fuck Me If It's Not Butter!!!!' and find it covered in crumbs. "They're only breadcrumbs" they say, but how old? And are they bread? Can you guarantee they're bread? I'm not eating 3 week old mystery lumps. Stop being disgusting and get some basic spread sharing etiquette. [also see jam butterers]

The upside down bottle right-way-uppers. The scientists at Heinz spend years of their life designing bottles of ketchup that stand on their lids to help you extract every last dollop. Society moves on. Some lids go on the bottom. Get over it.

Champagne spooners. You really think that champagne keeps it fizz if you put a spoon in the neck of the open bottle? A spoon blocks gas? That famously chunky state of matter? Sure, because I'm constantly having to mash air with a fork to get it into small enough pieces to breathe. [eyeroll emoji]

OP posts:
DampDust · 14/07/2024 07:46

Steal it back. I would make this my mission for next term

Doingmybest12 · 14/07/2024 07:47

Nosummerontheagenda · 14/07/2024 07:38

I think some people think they’re being very polite . My OH does it because in his job it was important to remember people’s names .He now calls people by their name all the time, even if it’s call centre staff. Drives me mad and makes me cringe.

I agree, I think some people think it shows you've taken notice of them as an individual. I think there was a phase of it being suggested in training if you worked with the public at one stage,call centre staff often do it. My lovely female friend does it. Politicians do it on Question Time. I hate it, it sounds over familiar and put on nearly always and often patronising.

cigarette999 · 14/07/2024 07:49

A woman in my office who can't just laugh.. she has to laugh to that the entire floor of 100 people will hear it.

People who sniff every 3 seconds.

Teenagers on public transport who think the whole carriage wants to hear them shrieking.

People on public transport who don't take their bags off seats despite the train being packed.

Adults sitting behind who manage to keep hitting your seat. On a plane recently, a man wrapped his hand around the top of my seat! I just put my head right back so that he'd have my head on his hand.

Cryingout1994 · 14/07/2024 08:00

following on from slow blinkers, people who talk with their eyes closed, it's bizarre my step mum does this, love her to bits mind I just don't understand it 😌

Happyinarcon · 14/07/2024 08:13

Mysterian · 13/07/2024 18:50

People in front of me who order the most ridiculously complex coffee. "I'd like a medium-firm, fine ground, lightly roasted Doodah bean mocha-floppiata, with agave sugar, badger cream, and a froth of oat milk produced by a farmer who's daughter's friend had a hamster called Gerald." I think the UN need to come up with a list of 5 variations of coffee, with choices of milk and sundries in packets on a nearby damp table.

Sadly this is me. I have been trying to be kind to my blood sugar as well as my anxiety so ask for a decaf almond milk. I started with oat milk until I realized they mixed it with oil. I feel like a twat.

hazandduck · 14/07/2024 08:55

Useruserdoubleuser · 14/07/2024 07:42

People who say ‘you’ve had a haircut’.

IS IT?

This! And even worse, when you thank them automatically and realise they didn’t say it looked nice 😂

Nosummerontheagenda · 14/07/2024 09:15

Happyinarcon · 14/07/2024 08:13

Sadly this is me. I have been trying to be kind to my blood sugar as well as my anxiety so ask for a decaf almond milk. I started with oat milk until I realized they mixed it with oil. I feel like a twat.

does milk affect blood sugar?

HungryLittleCrocodile · 14/07/2024 09:24

@Mysterian

People in front of me who order the most ridiculously complex coffee. "I'd like a medium-firm, fine ground, lightly roasted Doodah bean mocha-floppiata, with agave sugar, badger cream, and a froth of oat milk produced by a farmer who's daughter's friend had a hamster called Gerald.

😆 I googled floppiata to see if it was a thing! 😂

HungryLittleCrocodile · 14/07/2024 09:41

LaBelleSauvage123 · Yesterday 18:58

People who talk loudly in public places and you can tell they’re doing it because they secretly think they’re brilliant and hilarious and everyone should hear.

OMG my DH is like this sometimes - not always - but sometimes, when we go out. We will be in the middle of a shopping aisle, or moderately busy street in a town, and he will make comments about something, (comments he thinks are funny,) and speak loudly so everyone can hear. And then he looks around to see if anyone is looking - and laughing at his 'hilarious quip.' 100% attention seeking behaviour, and almost exclusively middle aged and older men who do it.

@EineReiseDurchDieZeit · Yesterday 19:01

People who try and tell you how to do things you know how to do such as Backseat Cooking. Who's cooking this meal me or you? pipe down then!

Yep DH again! Loves to comment on what I'm cooking/how I am cooking it, but never lifts a finger to do any cooking himself. He doesn't do it often - just occasionally. He doesn't do it often because when he does do it, I tell him I will throw a bloody pan at him if he doesn't piss off out of my kitchen.

And this one time he had a phase of slagging off my cooking, so after about a dozen times of his criticising my cooking over a few weeks, I grabbed his plate and threw his food in the bin, and told him to fuck off into the kitchen and make his own meals from now on. Was a full month before I started cooking for him again. He was begging me at the end. (Yeah I know I do all the cooking, please don't bash me!) Sad

Watching a film or program on TV and someone thinks that's the ideal time to start playing TikToks because they aren't watching it.

Oh and yeah DH AGAIN (Why am I married to him?!) When I am reading, or on the internet, or watching something on TV (and he is on his computer,) he ALWAYS has to regale me with what he is looking at. Tiktoks, Youtube videos, 'hilarious' clips from Facebook and Twitter! I find it so hard to concentrate that I give up and go outside or to another room to read, and leave 'my TV programmes' til he has fucked off to bed - or work! And this one he DOES do often! Hmm

ByCupidStunt · 14/07/2024 09:59

Women who whirl their finger above an open box of chocolates saying "hmmmm" and studying the menu intensely. JUST FUCKING CHOOSE ONE!

TwoThousandAcresofBlueSkyThinking · 14/07/2024 10:32

Nosummerontheagenda · 14/07/2024 09:15

does milk affect blood sugar?

Yes, it's fairly high in carbs.

I wonder if these aresholes who can't seem to deal with people reading books are quite so intolerant of those reading on their phones.

Sussurations · 14/07/2024 11:08

Nosummerontheagenda · 13/07/2024 22:22

Why not have some empathy for them instead?

Because it’s every day! It’s boring, it’s bad manners and there is no appropriate, polite response!

Booboobedooo · 14/07/2024 11:12

TwoThousandAcresofBlueSkyThinking · 14/07/2024 10:32

Yes, it's fairly high in carbs.

I wonder if these aresholes who can't seem to deal with people reading books are quite so intolerant of those reading on their phones.

Milk high in carbs?!

Booboobedooo · 14/07/2024 11:14

HungryLittleCrocodile · 14/07/2024 09:24

@Mysterian

People in front of me who order the most ridiculously complex coffee. "I'd like a medium-firm, fine ground, lightly roasted Doodah bean mocha-floppiata, with agave sugar, badger cream, and a froth of oat milk produced by a farmer who's daughter's friend had a hamster called Gerald.

😆 I googled floppiata to see if it was a thing! 😂

I live for my morning Floppiata – divine 🧘

violetsoup · 14/07/2024 11:18

the braindead people on public buses and trains who think it's perfectly acceptable to play videos/music through their tinny speakers, or worse yet, their mobile phones. i always look down on people like that

Booboobedooo · 14/07/2024 11:25

Nosummerontheagenda · 14/07/2024 07:38

I think some people think they’re being very polite . My OH does it because in his job it was important to remember people’s names .He now calls people by their name all the time, even if it’s call centre staff. Drives me mad and makes me cringe.

There are different ways of doing it!

There is a nice young guy at my local gym who always remembers my name and says hello when I check in – that’s nice

Or a text message that starts with ‘Hi Sarah, [….]’ (again – nice, normal, polite!)

But it’s the particular way that some people (usually men) address you with your name that is odd

Customer: Hi Dave! Just wanted to double check what day you’re coming round?

Business owner: Sarah, it’s tomorrow

It has a weird tone of forbearance to it and basically sounds very condescending like they’re talking impatiently to a moron. Seems often to be tradespeople who do this (ime)

newmomaboutthreads · 14/07/2024 11:29

Caught my husband fingering the cheese this morning. It's not what you think but almost as bad!

Touching a big block with bare (probably unclean) hands, the entire block will be mouldy in days instead of lasting forever.

Booboobedooo · 14/07/2024 11:32

newmomaboutthreads · 14/07/2024 11:29

Caught my husband fingering the cheese this morning. It's not what you think but almost as bad!

Touching a big block with bare (probably unclean) hands, the entire block will be mouldy in days instead of lasting forever.

With you on this ☝️

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/07/2024 12:09

The perpetually busy Employee of the Century.

'I'm so busy, I'm so overworked, I do tons of overtime that I'd never dream of expecting to be paid for, this task I'm doing at the moment is so incredibly complicated that it's going to take days and weeks and months because it's from a Word list that I type out first from a collection of Word lists created from handwritten lists that are scanned and filed and once all the lists have come in and then I've got to type each of the letters each time, then sort them manually into alphabetical order once I've printed them out and it'll never stop -'.

How about we record the details in Excel, set up a template letter and then create a mail merge instead? <blinks slowly> I can set it up for you if you like, then Excel can be updated as you go along and sorted alphabetically so it would save you time. <blinks again>

'Oh, no. I'm so busy, I have to do the task I'm doing, all the letters have to be printed and then sorted alphabetically because they don't come out in order from the Word lists'.

<bangs head on desk>

Three weeks later: 'I'm so busy, the letters are taking forever, I'm doing so much unpaid overtime on this'.

Busy AND Important people.

'the information you need is on a spreadsheet. We keep excellent records, it'll take you a few moments to go through it'

Spreadsheet is a random list where things that should be separate fields are all mashed together into a 300 character text string with no logical place to separate them. And the 'list' = some in Column A, some in Column G because Cell A is overlapping, some in Column X because Cell A overlapped, some in Row 37.

'Where's the date and outcome for these?'

'The information is on a spreadsheet'

Separate spreadsheet, not even a second tab, where there is no common field to indicate the link between spreadsheet 1 and spreadsheet 2.

Sort through it. Make sense of it, go back to spreadsheet 1. Some fucker's deleted three columns of data because 'I didn't need it and it wouldn't all fit on a page of the report'.

Booboobedooo · 14/07/2024 12:22

People who expect a ‘What a trooper’ medal for coming into work and sneezing and coughing all over you and wanking on about how they never take a day off. Wish you would.

HappiestSleeping · 14/07/2024 12:31

People who post in AIBU without an AIBU. Just for traffic (whatever that means?)

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 14/07/2024 12:54

Solidarity @HungryLittleCrocodile

Mysterian · 14/07/2024 12:55

And of course, Abi.

OP posts:
PerkyMintDeer · 14/07/2024 13:16

Booboobedooo · 14/07/2024 11:12

Milk high in carbs?!

I'm Diabetic, diet controlled. I can't have over 100g carbs a day if I want to control my blood sugar. 250ml semi skimmed cows milk has 12 grams carbs.

A medium latte from Costa is 16g carbs...add in milk in your tea or in porridge/recipes and milk alone could eat up quite a big chuck of that carb allowance for many diabetics/prediabetics...some of us also notice quite a big blood sugar spike after any dairy milk.

Different foods affect our sugars in different ways, it's a fine art figuring it all out. Sugar free almond milk has no effect on my sugars. That's because there are next to no carbs in it.

EdithStourton · 14/07/2024 14:23

Teenagers on public transport who think the whole carriage wants to hear them shrieking.
Anyone who thinks it's okay to spread their nose at full volume around the place, especially after 10pm. It should be legal to drench them with a hose from an upstairs window.

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