Shall I dump him by text or play him at his game?

[ForOliveShaker]

I’d been “seeing” this guy for about 6 months. Went on a few dates with him. He’s always been a bad texted and said it from the off. But over time it was his behaviour that was the issue.

I’ve heard all the excuses under the sun I feel. And he flakes last minute it randomly changes the day without checking if it’s ok with me. It’s not been every date but at least every other.

List of excuses for cancelling dates:

Safeguarding issue at work

wisdom tooth removal

Mums car broke down ans he needed to pick her up (cancelled on the hour)

Forgot to reply to me while on holiday for 10 days

Forgot to bring a change of clothes to see me for a date

His car broke down

His car got written off

He was hungover and didn’t feel up to it

Mums in hospital

Thought he replied but didn’t

Uncle died so took longer to reply

So the other day he said “will try and arrange to see you this week” at this point I still wanted to give him a chance. He then took 5 days to reply and just said “I’m so sorry I’ve been shit, works overwhelmed me since I’ve been back. I’m so sorry. Are you okay”

Like I’m bored now of the excuses and I was tempted to break it off over message (I know I don’t owe him that) but I really wanna do it to his face or do what he’s done to me and flake last min. last week he asked what days I’m free. I said “ I’m busy. I’m only free Tuesday. Schedules tight now can’t keep freeing it up” Tuesday rolls round “ohh no I’m off to see my sisters new house” funny how the sister just randomly gets a house on the day I suggest. Then I said ok Thursday. Thursday comes round and he said “ doing a 12 hour shift. Can’t tonight. You okay though”

He leaves up to 5 days between messages. And I can’t be dealing with it. And I haven’t seen him for 6 weeks.

Annoyingly I’ve had sex with him. I fucking hate myself so much. Be gentle on me please. My confidence is at rock bottom and yes I reckon he’s married too or very much in a relationship. My mates told me to play the game back. But I cba. Shall I just do this over a text?

Final message is “Gonna be honest with you, it’s been really nice getting to know you, but you’re inconsistent. You apologise but it eventually sounds like excuses

Going weeks between seeing someone. Isn’t what I constitute as dating. Doesn’t work for me, we’re looking for diff things

The flaking is so habitual, at this point I’m taking it as disinterest and I value my time but evidently, you don’t

I would have preferred to say it to you, but our schedules don’t line up, take care lovely xx”

Thoughts?

Extreme attention seeking from the OP here, just a repeat thread looking for an excuse to stay enmeshed....

Have you got him on any social media? I'd defo just not even text him you're worth more than that!
Build your confidence back up and concentrate on yourself the right man won't leave you guessing or making excuses ❤️

He's purely using you when it's convenient for him.

Don't give him anymore of your precious time.

Move on.

I’d just block him.

Maybe text him to tell him you can’t be arsed dealing with him being a flaky shit and you don’t want him to waste your time contacting you anymore but honestly it’s not worth wasting any more time on him.

I'm sorry you're feeling low and doubting yourself. It's him, it's NOT you. You absolutely deserve better and raise the bar on communication and needs next time, set them high and the right person will jump over them not slither under.
He doesn't deserve you, he's certainly not prioritizing you and you owe him nothing. Sounds like he's slow fading you, and keeping you on the hook but without being genuinely interested.
You know your worth, even if you're not feeling your best. :) 💪🏻

If you don't just block and move on, I'd just condense to this:

I would have preferred to say it to you in person, but our schedules don’t line up, it's been nice getting to know you, but I need more than weekly communication and habitual flaking on plans, it isn't what I consider a relationship.
I need someone who matches my effort and I'm just not getting that. We're not a match.
No hard feelings, genuinely take care lovely. xx”

He prob be quite relieved, as I don't think he is really into you.

Forget him, text’ I’m done, don’t contact me again’ and block number. He is probably seeing other women anyway, though that might be just my own prejudice after I experienced the same. I wouldn’t waste another thought on him, really.

Bin him , life's too short for all those lies and excuses.

Seriously, just don't even bother messaging - ignore ignore ignore!

Theres nothing you can do!!!!!!! But in time you will feel better. BLOCK him now immediately. Then set about on a Healing journey. Use SP€||$.. Then go to your place of worship to cleans yourself. Get advice from spiritual leaders. But above all BLOCK him.. Give it lotts of time. ...He will eventually come crawling back in a few years. Then if you like you can play mind games on HIM but you first need the cleansing of the dark energy. You can do it!!!!!!! Amen

Don't bother, just ignore and move on. He's not interested. Probably married.

something similar happened to a friend of mine. On dates he was amazing but his contact was terrible, either not messaging for days or planning things then cancelling with similar excuses but he then would get caught out or things didn’t make sense. It turned out he was married and was clearly deleting messages so he didn’t remember what he had sent or said. He would turn up out of the blue but then have no contact for ages. He would send a message but then not respond and a few weeks later would drop another message to say hello but never replied to previous ones.

I think you need to move on. Just stop contact and he will get the message. He will no doubt message you a few times but I’d just ignore and move on.

Read “He’s just not that into you”

Don’t send a waffly message. If you have to send a message, just be blunt and get rid.

Then have a little think on how you would like future dates to be and accept nothing less. Keep binning them until you find a kind and lovely man.

From a girl that put up with similar idiots, until she didn’t and followed the advice above. It works

I really don’t understand why you’re asking again. On the previous thread you already updated that you messaged and blocked him on 7th July. What’s changed?!! Think you need to work on your self esteem and in the meantime steer clear of anyone who is going to damage it any further.

I wouldn't even bother replying (I probably wouldn't have after the 2nd excuse tbh!)

Ghost. Ignore. End of.

Binned him. Felt an idiot for allowing it to happen. I texted and said “hey. I’m not interested anymore. Good luck. Got back “hey sorry it didn’t work out all the best” so I said “clearly you weren’t interested. Why didn’t you say” him:”well it sort of happened ehrn I came back off holiday. I just lost interest I guess”. In other words “I was with my wife” or “I had a shag now I don’t care”

Great decision ForOliveShaker. You deserve so much better!

You're chasing and he wants you to. Do not tell anything over text or in person. For him to know that you have/had feelings for him strokes his ego and gives him power. Dont let him know he hurt you. Block and never talk to him again. Learn the lesson.

I did leave it with “I find it random how one loses interest after a holiday. Each to their own, don’t know why you didn’t say sooner. Did you think it would bother me or something”

left there, I blocked him because I think we could have gone in circles forever and I reckon he’s married😂

Is this nonsense still going from weeks ago with a couple of threads about the same thing where OP had already dumped him then started a whole new thread asking if she should dump him. RTFT and save yourself the bother of posting.

Well people replied weeks later so I just updated on why I did. How’s that hard to believe.