Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Neighbour 'borrowing' food

105 replies

JC03745 · 11/07/2024 14:01

If you borrow food from neighbours (eggs, potatoes etc) do you return the next day to replace it? A couple in their 30's knock every month or so asking for something they'd run out of. They both work full time in good jobs, her mother lives further up our street and there are shops a short drive away.

I've never had anyone ask for food, so unsure if I'm supposed to say 'can you replace that pack of onions' or is it implied its just given away? (I was born abroad so unsure if there is an etiquette I've missed?)

OP posts:
gamerchick · 11/07/2024 23:07

Tell them you dont have what they want. If you were really brazen you could add that you could find out details of the food bank if they're struggling.

People don't like people to think they're struggling if they're not.

keanel · 11/07/2024 23:08

I don't think I'd expect it to be replaced tbh, it feels more like a favour that would be repaid in kind. But tbh I've never experienced this kind of thing with neighbours since I was a student - I've always lived in city centres with supermarkets a short walk away, and fast delivery services these days. Can't imagine any neighbours needing to borrow food and if I'm out of something I'd just adapt or make something else.

Waffle78 · 13/07/2024 22:39

I've never thought to ask a neighbour if we haven't got something. I just look up online what I can make instead with what we have. They are taking advantage of you. All the little bits they ask for add up. The pennies turn into pounds.

It's different if you know them well and they would do the same for you in return. I have ordered a few times on Tesco whoosh and deliveroo. If I have forgotten to have pick something up.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General relationships
Elphame · 13/07/2024 23:08

I’ve given emergency rations to neighbours and not expected them to be returned.

I know they would reciprocate should it be necessary

CherrySocks · 13/07/2024 23:15

Say, no I haven't got any, you'll have to go to the shop, while you're there can you get some for me too.

Jiski · 15/07/2024 20:39

Start knocking on their door and ask for random food and see how they react. Say you have none next time as well.

Scottsy200 · 15/07/2024 20:40

They are taking the piss, you are not a shop, just say you don’t have any of what they ask for and hopefully they’ll stop

PoopedAndScooped · 15/07/2024 20:45

Back in the 80’s it happened but even then it was a drop of milk or abit of sugar and everyone kinda asked everyone but it wasnt often and was usually something very small

coldcallerbaiter · 15/07/2024 20:52

Op do they replace the food? You say they knock every month.

No it is not remotely normal these days.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 15/07/2024 20:53

We had a neighbour who want to borrow a 'hasp'.
(I didn't know what it was either! - see photo)
Sent his kids to ask...

Neighbour 'borrowing' food
muddymuckymoody · 15/07/2024 21:03

Weird that they don’t have kids. Being a single parent to ND kids I’ve been caught before and neighbours will help me out. Same would be reciprocated. Also living in a semi rural area and know all your neighbours well, it wouldn’t be odd here but the frequency would!

Swiftie1878 · 15/07/2024 22:03

As a one off, not weird at all and wouldn’t expect anything back.
More frequently? Totally weird and totally unacceptable!

DecoratingDiva · 15/07/2024 22:10

I don’t think it is in any way normal to borrow food from your neighbours, especially if you live in an urban area with shops nearby and relatives living on the same street.

But if I had been forced to borrow something from the neighbours I would replace it as soon as I could along with a bottle of wine as a thank you.

Next time they ask just say no.

CaravaggiosCat · 15/07/2024 22:31

I think they're on a wind up to see how much food you'd give.

user1497787065 · 15/07/2024 22:31

I love the fact that my neighbour and I are able to do this. It's five miles to the nearest shop for us and we are both keen cooks and may sometimes have just run out of an ingredient. We have borrowed/lent one another the odd egg, onion, mango chutney, cornflour, garam masala, rice etc

They are planning to move next year. I have specified they can only sell to someone with a well stocked pantry.

Charliechick86 · 16/07/2024 13:21

My neighbour and I used to borrow off of each other if we're in in the middle of dinner and realised we had run out of something or late at night early morning when making kids lunches and realised no bread or it had gone off etc, or gravy granules once when we were serving up dinner and realised had none left. We never expected it to be returned but then always replaced and normally with more of it as we both appreciated it.

CointreauVersial · 16/07/2024 13:24

It's the other way around here. Every time my NDN goes on holiday she pops over with a bag of stuff from the fridge that needs finishing.

Hoppinggreen · 16/07/2024 13:28

Depends
We live on a small cul de sac and it happens quite often - DD made a loaf earlier using flour from a neighbour.
I always offer to replace the items but its usually turned down and if anyone borrows from me I am not botgered about a replacement
None of us are pisstakers though and we know everyone will be fair about it. There is one person who is always on the scrounge and we know she never returns the favour - funnily enough whenever she asks in the WA nobody ever has what she is after!

NotanotherboxofFrogs · 17/07/2024 08:05

My NDN is constantly looking for something, he asks for alcohol, money, medication (any kind will do if he can get a hit out of it), WiFi password or cigarettes and it has taken 4.5 years for him to get the hint the answer is always NO as I know he is an absolute chancer and I could do any of that and would never see any replacements.

Meanwhile my other neighbours 4 doors away, my cupboards are theirs and theirs are mine. We respect each other.

The DH of the house has rang me with a request could I come into the house right now and go up to stairs and put a toilet roll at the bathroom door and leave. it was an emergency. We regularly swap/replace cat food / litter between us. We look after each others houses and cats when the other one is away.

They have helped me with various things and we pay each other for any full items to be replaced but if it's a part item we even it out between us so yesterday I got 2 bananas and a cup of flour and a yoghurt as was absolutely craving banana bread. I shared it with the DW of the house.

Meltingwaxlady · 17/07/2024 08:16

Oh op are you familiar with cadging Carol from the Royle family ?😄

hookiewookie29 · 18/07/2024 08:07

Once had a neighbour- who I'd never even spoken to - ask for a couple of tampons....
She must have been desperate!
Although she never spoke to me again...!

Original poster
JC03745 · 18/07/2024 18:00

hookiewookie29 · 18/07/2024 08:07

Once had a neighbour- who I'd never even spoken to - ask for a couple of tampons....
She must have been desperate!
Although she never spoke to me again...!

Now that is just bizarre. Surely a wad of toilet paper would suffice till she could get to the shops! 😕

OP posts:
Izzynohopanda · 18/07/2024 18:04

Asking every month - either they’re broke or lazy. As others have said, there’s petrol stations or corner shops everywhere, unless you're in the middle if the countryside.

iI’d say the etiquette is to replace it with a ‘old for new’ policy. Ie. If they borrow two onions, they give you a new pack of three onions. If they borrow a couple of eggs, they replace it with a box of six.

Scott135 · 07/10/2024 17:33

Probably just testing the water with you.. people start by asking for small things see how you are… then the requests get larger.. you have to be comfortable saying no otherwise people will take advantage

if you are someone who can’t say no then say you don’t have it

Chillilounger · 07/10/2024 20:54

Sure. When you're going to the shop to replace it could you also pick me up x? Thanks so much!