Neighbour 'borrowing' food

[JC03745]

If you borrow food from neighbours (eggs, potatoes etc) do you return the next day to replace it? A couple in their 30's knock every month or so asking for something they'd run out of. They both work full time in good jobs, her mother lives further up our street and there are shops a short drive away.

I've never had anyone ask for food, so unsure if I'm supposed to say 'can you replace that pack of onions' or is it implied its just given away? (I was born abroad so unsure if there is an etiquette I've missed?)

The only thing a neighbour has ever asked me if I had was some Italian seasoning which I was happy to offer.

go out the door, go up the drive and look at the front of the house. Then say - just checking it doesn't say Tesco's on the front

cheeky buggers

We are friendly neighbours here and it rarely happens, but I would be happy to give away stuff if asked and wouldn't want it to be replaced. In 3 years, someone asked me for 2 teabags once and I gave someone else an egg. I borrowed about 100g of sugar from next door when I got caught out mid baking (went round with a fresh bag the next day). I think as a genuine favour its a sweet thing to do but I wouldn't keep giving it to the same people, they're taking the piss! Just say no x

That's just bizarre. You can order all the milk and sugar you want from local co-op/tesco on Deliveroo and similar. Will arrive in 25 mins.

I'd do the "yes certainly, but we're planning on using it tomorrow and I won't have a chance to get to the shops, so please can you get some back to me before 6 tomorrow?" And, if they don't then you've got a perfectly good reason to say "no" the next time.

@WhatsUpNowThen

My neighbour once knocked on my door and asked if I had any smoked gouda to spare. I said I had a bit of cheddar. No, that wouldn't do. Had to be smoked gouda. Neither of us have any history regarding smoked gouda. Very weird.

That's a bit different though. They were perhaps attempting a recipe and had forgotten to buy the smoked gouda or had a last minute Dutch visitor! It doesn't really sound like they were taking the piss exactly or they would have taken the cheddar.

Get a ring doorbell, every time they knock check the camera, if it's them don't answer the door.
Problem solved they will eventually get the hint.

I remember a newspaper cartoon:
Posh neighbour opens door to Hilda Ogden style woman.
“It’s Mrs Brown from next door…she’s asking for a cup of money!”

Maybe they’ve decided you’re Lady Bountiful, OP.

The only thing neighbours have asked me for was sellotape.

I once had a neighbour asking to borrow a vacuum cleaner. His Mum had given him money to buy one and he had spent the money on something else. Mum unexpectedly decided to visit from afar and he needed one to show her.

Unfortunately for him mine was nothing like the one that he had described to her so he left empty handed.

Thanks everyone, some have given me a laugh. To answer some questions:

• I'm pretty sure they aren't skint and struggling. They both have good jobs, very expensive cars, a cleaner and a gardener- no kids. I suspect its more being flakey and un-organised.
• The first time they asked, it was for potatoes, so I gave them the 1/2 bag I had left. I assumed they'd bring a bag the next day. They didn't, so I had to go and buy some myself.
• They moved in a year ago and are friendly enough.
• Yes, we have a ring door bell and could not answer or say 'no- we have no salt, sugar, onions' etc. 😁

I think it's a money issue.

REALLY odd if one of their parents live further up the street

The only times I remember doing this was when I once borrowed an onion from a neighbour (and paid her back in kind the next day), and this was years ago before we had shops open all hours.

The other time was much more recently, when we swapped a bag of pasta with the neighbour on the other side with toilet rolls, so you can guess when it happened!

Are you close with these neighbors, like friends? I've never asked a neighbor for food or been asked for food by one! A friend of mine lives a few doors down and once she brought me some spaghetti when I'd mentioned on the phone I had none and was going to nip out... but we have been friends for years.

I think they’re taking the piss. See you as a source of free food.
Next time just say no, I haven’t any and shut the door.
or don’t even open the door to them.

Every month? I’d say - oh, sorry I’ve run out of X too. Keep saying that every time until they stop asking.

Not if you live where I do! Deliveroo doesn’t exist outside of towns/cities.
My neighbour repeatedly asked me for the ingredients her dd needed for school cookery class. Nothing was ever replaced or paid for ☹️
Eventually I just kept saying ‘Sorry, I don’t have any x’

The only thing a neighbour has asked to borrow from me was candles for a birthday cake. I did ask " why me?". She did say that I was the only neighbour who she thought could actually bake. I gave her some and asked if she wanted a part used " singing candle" as well. She was more than happy to take that too as I did say that as she could light it, and turn it on, before appearing with the cake nobody would know it had been previously used.

Wouldn't have a problem with my neighbours on either side or my old neighbour from across the street requesting/asking anything as known them all for many years and close friends. Anyone else, wouldn't dream of asking nor would they ask. We have even used each other's kitchens for extra catering requirements never mind borrowed ingredients.

Reciprocity isn't expected for the one off or occasional item when you know someone well but for a neighbour in a exception that you don't know well, but say it's Sunday after 8pm and they need some milk most people would buy a pint to replace it as a thank you for helping them out. Your neighbours are CFs.

Really odd. Never happened to me in over 30 years in the same street.

If it’s an item you will obviously have like salt or sugar I would say “oh we are running a bit low on that too I’m afraid, I haven’t had a chance to make it to the shops yet”

if it’s a less obvious item like onions, potatoes etc then I’d just said sorry I don’t have any.

I borrow stuff from mil every few days as her cupboards are like Tesco and it saves me driving to the shop!

But I always replace it when I get my shopping delivered

We help each other out occasionally, usually in the middle of baking. One neighbor asked for an egg last week as they were baking cookies…and then came over with a plate of them. 😋

I’ve never been asked for potatoes!

Just say no.
You don't need to explain.

My neighbour and I seem to regularly borrow eggs from each other! It's always when we're baking.