Neighbour 'borrowing' food

[JC03745]

If you borrow food from neighbours (eggs, potatoes etc) do you return the next day to replace it? A couple in their 30's knock every month or so asking for something they'd run out of. They both work full time in good jobs, her mother lives further up our street and there are shops a short drive away.

I've never had anyone ask for food, so unsure if I'm supposed to say 'can you replace that pack of onions' or is it implied its just given away? (I was born abroad so unsure if there is an etiquette I've missed?)

Let them know they are not in the Heart of Darkness and there are food sources nearby.

I wouldn't expect a replacement. But I'd only spare what I wouldn't miss. I wouldn't give anything I'd have to replace. If it becomes a regular nuisance then next time just say, no I don't, sorry.

No experience of this since I was a child in the 70s. Back then it was common enough as none of us along the road had a car and the walk to the shops was probably 30 mins or so. I very much doubt my parents expected to be paid back but then the favours went both ways back then so no need.

Used to happen when I was growing up, when there were no convenience shops. I can't see any need for it to happen now.

Have however between me and my neighbour borrows various things over the years - hoover, hairdryer, bottle opener, lighter, can opener. All returned straight away.

I've never asked a neighbour for food. I'm only a few mins walk from a shop though. We all regularly borrow gardening/diy equipment though.

Stuff is a bit different, always lent and returned. I've borrowed a foot pump, lent a spirit level, drill, saw etc to various neighbours.

Food is a bit different as they eat it, it's gone, and you feel bad for asking for something back. But the costs mount up. Our street WhatsApp regularly lends things, but I've never seen a food request.

My neighbours and I would pop around if we have run out of milk or someshing. We are friendly with each other. If I wanted something back I’d say ‘of course you can have some potatoes but I was planning on using them tomorrow so would you be able to drop some off straight after work?’

use your words!!!!

Exactly this!! Or don’t even answer the door.

I wouldn't necessarily expect a replacement but a small thank you gift occasionally, the same as any other favour. But yes in this day and age its definitely weird.

The etiquette is not to go and take food off your neighbours! They are behaving in an odd and entitled manner, and taking advantage of you.

If it was a one-off, all the shops were closed, their mother was away on a holiday, and they needed an egg or two for a cake that had to be baked that night, then okay - but a normal neighbour would make sure to return what was borrowed. They are rude and wrong to be doing this to you repeatedly.

In the 1960s,I remember my parent’s neighbours asking for a cup of sugar at the end of the week before they got paid and did their shopping, but really it is not done now. Like many people, we had a street WhatsApp group in lockdown and people would ask other people if they had run out or couldn’t get anything, but everyone always offered money to pay for it. I took payment if it was going to go straight on my shopping list to be replaced, not if it had been sitting at the back of my cupboard for ages.

Actually I have supplied food once. A tin of cat food to next door as she'd had her son's cat dumped on her late at night due to an emergency, and could see I was up so texted me. She offered to replace it, I said no worries as a) happy to feed a moggy and b) she should probably charge me rent for the amount of time my cat spends on her shed roof.

Depends what it is. A couple of onions or a squirt of two of washing up liquid then no. An unopened jar of coffee-yes.

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Is this your neighbour?

It’s been years since anyone asked me to help with food, but I never expected to get stuff back, it was maybe a couple of potatoes or an egg.

i would say sorry you would normally help but you’re short yourself this week. I would say as it’s the end of the month they are short. I would never let anyone go hungry but there’s a resent subsidising their income.

on a lighter a note, a few years ago there was a little boy next door who went through a phase of only eating my bread 😂, his mother resorted to buying a loaf and leaving it with me so when he knocked the door every morning I would just give him some. Apparently it was better than the one his mum got and made better sandwiches 😂

That's hilarious. We had similar with DD and clothes - if I bought them, she didnt like them. If my friend "Jane" bought them... she LOVED them because Jane has such great taste. It's amazing how generous "Jane" has been over the years...

My brother also had a friend who was sent round to our house for supper 3 nights a week as he mostly refused food at home. I am not sure if his mother gave mine money, but it wouldn't surprise me!

Just say oh sorry I have none in, or we just used the last. Just keep doing it till they stop.

My neighbour once knocked on my door and asked if I had any smoked gouda to spare. I said I had a bit of cheddar. No, that wouldn't do. Had to be smoked gouda. Neither of us have any history regarding smoked gouda. Very weird.

Just say no. This isn't a usual thing to do

No, this situation is not OK. Neighbours should not be asking you to give them food. They should also be replacing the items or paying you for them. Most people don't mind giving something small (a pint of milk for example) to really good neighbours in an emergency but these people are abusing your good nature. Next time tell them you don't have whatever it is they want and politely close the door. They'll soon get the message. They're taking the piss.

How random.

And if I did happen to have some, you can bet your bottom dollar i wouldn't be giving it away.

Harsh 😂

Maybe I’ve been missing out on life. No one has ever asked me in this way. And it’s never occurred to me to ask anyone else. Maybe I don’t know my neighbours well enough?

We don't live near a shop and do borrow random things from our friends down the road.

But they borrow random stuff from us too - it's almost a bit of a joke sometimes about how embarrassingly middle class our dinners are... they once asked to borrow quinoa and we have asked for sumac....

Our kids are constantly asking to borrow an egg or cupcake cases when baking - but it's mutual. And we replace stuff. Again.. kind of funny sending a kid over the road with a replacement egg.

Maybe we need to get out more though....