Anyone else lose interest in socialising/big groups etc around age 50?

[CountryGirl5]

I've just turned 50 and I've always been really happy in my own company and a fairly quiet life. I'm single but have family and friends who I do see regularly (but not too regularly!), a hobby I love and am a bookworm. I'm finding lately I'm just drained when I spend too much time with others, having to make small talk, chitchat about nothing, and I'm thinking I'd rather be at home with my book. I'm okay meeting one or two close friends, but finding it difficult with big gatherings or parties. So much effort when I'd rather not be there.

Please tell me I'm not alone!

Nope you are not alone. I honestly could spend the rest of my life with just 3 close friends (seperatley) and my immediate family.
I just find people generally annoying.
I even like it when all my family are out. (And they aren't young kids) it's like I breathe out when everyone leaves!

BTW I am 54

Hard to say....Ive always been antisocial.

I think you lose your tolerance for bullshit after 50 though, so maybe that has an effect?

Yes, I too find I get easily annoyed or irritated by others - but I'm sure I irritate people also!

I've always been a bit antisocial too... have to often really force myself to some events... but I've just gotten worse now

Absolutely. Less people the better. Just can't stand listening to all the nonsense

I’ve always been pretty antisocial but often gone along when pressurised. The difference now I’m 53 is I just say no! I think you get sick of pretending you’re more social than you actually are. So now like you, I prefer to read and I have hobbies, I’m never bored when alone. Not sure if it’s the menopause (I’m fortunate to not be suffering generally) but do find people who are not my cup of tea fry my brain more quickly and I have less tolerance for them. I have a small circle of really good friends but don’t feel the need for more. My husband, daughter and the cat are generally enough!

In my 40s - never got interested in big groups in the first place 🤷‍♀️

Let’s hope you don’t all become lonely pensioners! I say that kindly, it’s important to have a network as we get older.

You're definitely not alone. I have a partner, grown up kids and a few close friends and that's all I need. I'm secretly relieved now that I've retired I'm not obliged to go on staff nights outs etc. These were end of term when I was there which was bad enough but now they have a social committee who organise such horrors as 80s nights, murder mystery meals and the like on a monthly basis. My idea of hell!

Yes, that's me, I just can't force myself to things I'm not interested in any more.

@Thursdaygirl I do have a network and as I said, I meet family and friends regularly... it's more big groups and less close friends/acquaintances that I struggle with

Yes, me too. Like you, I prefer smaller meetups- I just don't like big gatherings and I'm not forcing myself any more.

If your socialising in groups involves ‘small talk and chitchat about nothing’, I’d be focusing on why that is, as it’s certainly not inevitable.

I’m very social, I find I don’t like the noise levels as I get older. So I do still do this I’m just a bit more discerning. My dance group met up for lunch recently, there was about 17 of us but I actually really like them all.

Me. 51 this year and quite happy not to socialise - my job is very people-y and I find that drains me. I enjoy going for lunch or coffee with a friend but can’t do groups any more. Fortunately most of my friends are not connected to one another so this works fine. I’ve always been anxious in social situations but I think a combination of the Covid years and menopause exacerbated it.

I think you're less likely to go along with things you don't actively enjoy as you get older.
I'm in my fifties and realised a few years ago that I'd spent literally decades doing things I disliked with people I wasn't keen on.
I'm far more selective with my time now because there's less time left to me.

I don't like massive gatherings - much prefer spending time with 1 or 2 friends at a time. I don't like loud noise and seem to have become more intolerant of it as I've got older.

I've always struggled with the amount of conversations big groups in confined spaces have, and I just find I go from one to the other, never properly getting involved and end up switching off and it being just noise so sit there quietly desperate to leave.

Small groups are fine. But I'm also quite happy on my own. I'm a sociable person but prefer one on one/two.

I'm fairly sociable to a point and also happy in my own company, and also aware that I really should get out a bit more. But I think it was when menopause hit that I stopped caring so much about what people think.

Also, my hearing is getting bad so I find it hard to hear in pubs and some restaurants...it's just getting worse as I age but I think that happens with a lot of people. I'm 55 and trying to find a balance between not turning into a hermit and never meeting anyone new and being comfortable on my own!

I've seen my in laws network shrink to a very few friends and their family....they are nearly 80 and still very active physically ....

I've nor always been antisocial, I used to love going out and dancing. But venues got louder and louder, and large crowds got increasingly unplesant. i wold say overwhelming, but I don't think this is a flaw of mine that needs adjusting. I do have to be careful not to hermit myself though!

You're probably an introvert. Lots of us out there!

I'm in my early 30s and already feel like this!

It's really quite liberating

I have a small network of wonderful people who I see somewhat infrequently but I know from experience that I can wholly depend on if the need arises (one fantastic friend in particular who I've been friends with since we were three years old and is more like a sister)

But not engaging with the small talk and bollocks is great for my energy levels.

Yes this is me. And I agree with pp who say it's liberating. So much of my young life was about enforced socialising. It's wonderful not to do that now. I have myself, my family, a small number of close friends and some interesting acquaintances and work colleagues. Absolutely more than enough.

Me!
I'm 66.. l have a couple of close friends l see now and again separately.
Love my family and could see them every day.
But l just don't like being out with loads of people any more.. until l was about 50 l loved going out with " The girls".
But now it's too much.
I can't " cope" with crowds/ noisy people.
On holiday we have villas.. not hotels.
Big events are a big no.
Nothing nicer than your own company.