Ex and I have 2 dc, both under 10.
We split when the youngest was a baby.
He hasn't been a very involved father, every second weekend for a day the occasional week in the summer.
He's very manipulative towards dc, they are getting more and more distraught when coming back from his and ask me to say things to him as they feel they can't speak up.
After the latest round of incidents I have made the difficult decision to stop contact, not that he knows yet.
Older dc has started freaking out about me running out of food, which has never happened turned out he does run out of things there. Younger dd is sick within a day of coming home 8/10 times.
This last time they have come back covered in flea bites.
He doesn't have adequate beds/carpets/furniture etc.
There's lots and lots of small incidents that all just add up to him being neglectful.
I've suggested many things and he tells me to piss off every time.
I want to go to mediation so he sees that I'm not just being an over protective arsehole, I'm keen to have their relationship continue, but things there just aren't good and it's affecting their time when they are away from him.
Oldest dc nearly had a panic attack today because I opened the last carton of milk and they were worried that I was going to run out. They have never been anxious in their life.
First of all can someone help me word a message letting him know I'm stopping contact for the moment, secondly can someone help me word a message asking for mediation.
Every time I try I get caught up in the ins and outs and get emotional about my kids, so I need it to just be factual.
If anyone has any better ideas then please let me know because I'm at the end of my tether with this.
TIA 💐