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Original poster

7 yr old DS wants to buy makeup

65 replies

HelpGreatlyAppreciated · 05/07/2024 00:14

Hello. On a family holiday with DS who is 8 soon, and other family members.

This is massively outing so I have NC'd. DS is very close to his cousins, eldest being Dear Niece (NC). DN is age 10, very girly and loves makeup/beauty etc. All the kids have spending money, only rules we set was no food/juice and it had to fit into their suitcases. Until yesterday no drama over what my DS wants to spend it on. Yesterday he and DN bought pamper stuff, moisturisers, headbands, face masks etc and decided to have a pamper night on Saturday after dinner. However today DS & DD wanted to go shopping again this time for makeup. I said no to DS buying makeup. Gave him the reasons 1. Bad for his skin which is currently perfect 2. Makeup is for older girls & women. He's devastated. Eventually got him to sleep and he still feels I'm being unfair as he feels he loves makeup and is interested in it.

Background is when much younger 3ish he was obsessed with Disney Princesses, liked his nails done etc. since then we've fostered and encouraged all interests but not really came across the makeup thing until he asked for it at Christmas. I said no and explained why plus he's fully aware he does not get everything on his list.

DH agrees with no makeup but like me is upset at how upset DS is. It's horrible and I do not want this to play a dampner on his holiday or DNs as she shouldn't feel bad for buying makeup if her partners let her.

Any ideas of how I can better appease him? I explained I can go shopping with him and we can look at this brand he's so interested in and see what beauty stuff they offer that's NOT makeup. I've also reminded him he's bought some cool stuff already so he does have other interests.

Thank you if you've read this far

OP posts:
Noshadealltea · 05/07/2024 00:21

Hi OP, I think honestly you should just tell him he isn’t allowed to wear face makeup right now because he is 9 and not old enough yet.

If he likes makeup maybe redirect him to some sort of nail varnish? There are some cool chrome ones out that one of my male co workers is obsessed with at the moment.

Tell him he has to wait for the face stuff until he is older. Plenty of boys wear makeup in their teens :)

Bemusedandconfusedagain · 05/07/2024 00:21

Don't make it a boy/girl thing. Men can wear makeup too. Fair enough to not allow it on the basis of his age, but personally I'd let him have a tinted lip balm or nail polish. Forbidding him won't stop him wanting it, rather it will make it even more alluring and a forbidden fruit and just teach him not to share his feelings with you.

Pipersouth · 05/07/2024 00:23

I have no experience with this but if you are so dead set against it would you go for a face painting kit? He’s trying to explore a new look possibly - if it were my DS I would be trying to support him without labelling anything especially as male make up is out there being used in real life aswell as dress up.

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clary · 05/07/2024 00:24

Yeh I agree. Say he’s too young for makeup but can have nails or lip balm. Plenty of men wear those anyway. Makeup is not just for older girls and women after all. Make it about age not sex. If he wants to wear eyeliner when he is 12 then fine imo.

Floralnomad · 05/07/2024 00:27

You don’t need to appease him ,facial make up is for older people and that is the end of the conversation .

LauderSyme · 05/07/2024 00:53

I was going to say let him have the make up and have fun being creative, applying it and wearing it for an agreed short while before washing it off.

But I see no one else thinks that, so maybe it is terrible advice.

Teddybarr · 05/07/2024 00:58

I mean- I wouldn't buy make up for my daughter when she was 7, age for me would be the biggest factor. If he enjoyed skin care etc why not get some age appropriate face masks etc? He can then have a pamper which he seemed to enjoy.

Runnerinthenight · 05/07/2024 01:04

Most reasonable parents wouldn't allow their daughters to buy/wear makeup at 7!

You need to stand firm on this. My DS was the youngest of three with two elder sisters and when he was very young (younger than 7) he wanted to wear lipstick. So I bought him Lypsyl and told him it was boy lipstick and job done. He's in his early 20s and hasn't wanted to wear lipstick since!

Ponderingwindow · 05/07/2024 01:56

Plenty of 7 yo play with makeup.

if he wants to wear makeup, I would talk about what he could choose that is age appropriate. Some nail polish. Maybe some lightly tinted lip moisturizer that can feel like a lip gloss to a child.

also talk about how he will be allowed to make more makeup choices in the future, but you and his dad are still figuring all this out and are learning about what he can do at each age. makeup is generally for older people and you weren’t expecting him asking about this already so you are going to need some time to work out the exact rules.

but in the meantime, let the poor kid have a little something fun. A sparkly lip balm will be enough for now.

Seeingadistance · 05/07/2024 02:07

My DS was very interested in make-up at a similar age. I simply said to him what my mother said to me - that he was still too young for make-up and that he had to wait till he was 13.

He did try various samples in Debenhams though! His look wasn't at all subtle!

Ozanj · 05/07/2024 02:22

Google male makeup, show him, and tell him when he’s old enough you’ll buy him some.

TwoShades1 · 05/07/2024 06:28

If you don’t want makeup because of his age, that’s fine. I don’t think his gender has anything to do with it. There’s loads of male makeup artists these days. And plenty of male influencers who wear makeup. Actors wear makeup. So do theatre/stage performers.

Newuser75 · 05/07/2024 07:11

I wouldn't have an issue with this, lots of kids play around with make up. A little lip gloss or some nail varnish etc isn't going to hurt him.

Icanttakethisanymore · 05/07/2024 07:16

I wouldn’t let him buy it because of his age. I think you’re in danger of making an issue where there is probably not one if you keep trying to discourage what you perceive to be ‘girly’ interests. You’ll probably make him more determined and entrench behaviours that could well have just been phases.

Radiatorspring · 05/07/2024 07:20

Agree to allowing face paints.

ThatEdgyOliveFox · 05/07/2024 07:21

Toy make-up face paint type stuff and tinted lip balm, absolutely fine at that age.
Adult makeup and skin care is too harsh for a child’s young skin.
Stick to nail varnish and introduce mascara and eyeshadow when he is a bit older if he’s still interested.
This is exactly the what I did with my daughter, she is 15 now and wears a little makeup, thankfully she doesn’t cover her face trying to get a ‘natural’ look she just uses stuff on her eyes and lips.

InTheRainOnATrain · 05/07/2024 07:22

Lots of parents of girls would say no at 7 and that they need to wait until the teen years. I wouldn’t have said that it’s for older girls and women because boys/men can and do wear make up so maybe have a chat and correct that but it’s fine to reaffirm that you’re saying no because he’s only 7.

Soontobe60 · 05/07/2024 07:23

Both my DDs and my nephews used to love piling on the make up as little children - so the youngest would have been around 4. We never bought them their own make up, they played with our old make up. They could also always be found dressed up in all sorts of stuff from the dressing up box (boys in dresses, girls in dad’s suits).
What we didn’t do was buy them actual make up, it was just something to play with. Make a big deal of it and it will become a big deal.

Okayornot · 05/07/2024 07:29

I didn't let my daughters have makeup at age 7 because it is not appropriate for little girls.

Did you let your DD spend her money on it?

Personally I would avoid making this sort of stuff gendered. Some children at this age still conflate their likes and preferences with who they are. Tell them they can't play with something because it is for the opposite sex and they will feel very conflicted. This is just pointless. There are of course men who love makeup (and actually some very good male makeup artists).

reluctantbrit · 05/07/2024 07:30

Please don't make make up a girl/woman thing. I agree with the age and would compromise on nail varnish and coloured lip balm.

Plenty of men do wear make up, often very subtle so not necessarily that visible, not everyone goes all the way out, similar like not all women aren't falling into the paint pot on a daily basis.

fabricstash · 05/07/2024 07:36

let him have nail varnish and lip gloss. Bit young for full make up at that age but agree with others don’t make it a girl / boy thing. Boys are allowed to wear makeup too! My teen son loves his nail varnish. I never wear any!

Nogodsnomasters · 05/07/2024 07:43

I'm actually shocked at how many people are against children playing with make up! My foster daughter is 9, she's had childrens make up kits (from Argos that she bought with her own birthday money) for over a year and I give her my cast offs too, the only rules we have is that she cannot wear the make up outside the house and she must wash it off before bed.

OP do you agree with your 10yr DN using make up or do you think this is wrong also? As I do get a slight vibe that gender is more the problem. You don't mention that you've told him he can wear make up when he's older and you said you told him it's for "older women and girls".

In terms of situation that he's spending a lot of time with DN and admires her it's probably a copying thing. My DS is an only child and when our foster daughter moved in he began to get jealous of her dollys and when he got some gift money he chose to buy some dolls for himself which he'd not shown any interest in prior to this, the phase lasted about 2 months before he got bored of the dolls and hasn't looked at them since.

FrogNToad · 05/07/2024 08:06

I'd be worried about the mess with a 7 year old. Spilling, transferring, not being able to wash off properly without help. Agree that a lip balm and some nail varnish might do the trick. Facemask might also be fun for him. My son enjoys painting everyone's nails. We have given him some scents in tester size too which he really likes and his own hair gel, so he can groom himself a bit.

llamajohn · 05/07/2024 08:15

Just let him buy something "innocent" like a garish kids nail varnish or something. Explain he's too young for face makeup or whatever.

No need to make it about boys and girls.

Marblessolveeverything · 05/07/2024 08:20

LauderSyme · 05/07/2024 00:53

I was going to say let him have the make up and have fun being creative, applying it and wearing it for an agreed short while before washing it off.

But I see no one else thinks that, so maybe it is terrible advice.

In appalled that noone is saying this. Are we back in the 1950s? So because he is a boy it's a no!

Good luck op because you are sending a very inappropriate message to your son . Boys can't do xyz. HotHe liked princesses, make up well now he knows to hide his likes.

At 7 he is well accustomed to societal expectations through school.Poor kid.

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