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Original poster

7 yr old DS wants to buy makeup

65 replies

HelpGreatlyAppreciated · 05/07/2024 00:14

Hello. On a family holiday with DS who is 8 soon, and other family members.

This is massively outing so I have NC'd. DS is very close to his cousins, eldest being Dear Niece (NC). DN is age 10, very girly and loves makeup/beauty etc. All the kids have spending money, only rules we set was no food/juice and it had to fit into their suitcases. Until yesterday no drama over what my DS wants to spend it on. Yesterday he and DN bought pamper stuff, moisturisers, headbands, face masks etc and decided to have a pamper night on Saturday after dinner. However today DS & DD wanted to go shopping again this time for makeup. I said no to DS buying makeup. Gave him the reasons 1. Bad for his skin which is currently perfect 2. Makeup is for older girls & women. He's devastated. Eventually got him to sleep and he still feels I'm being unfair as he feels he loves makeup and is interested in it.

Background is when much younger 3ish he was obsessed with Disney Princesses, liked his nails done etc. since then we've fostered and encouraged all interests but not really came across the makeup thing until he asked for it at Christmas. I said no and explained why plus he's fully aware he does not get everything on his list.

DH agrees with no makeup but like me is upset at how upset DS is. It's horrible and I do not want this to play a dampner on his holiday or DNs as she shouldn't feel bad for buying makeup if her partners let her.

Any ideas of how I can better appease him? I explained I can go shopping with him and we can look at this brand he's so interested in and see what beauty stuff they offer that's NOT makeup. I've also reminded him he's bought some cool stuff already so he does have other interests.

Thank you if you've read this far

OP posts:
Nannyfannybanny · 05/07/2024 08:26

I am surprised that anyone would think it's a good idea for a 7 year old child to be wearing makeup! My DGD now 14 regularly gets it all over the carpet, flooring, bedding, furniture. When she was 10 she took nail varnish (she was allowed it with supervision) and ruined the brand new duvet cover on my bed. Last year a brand new duvet cover on the spare room bed. No way would her parents or GP allow it at such a young age.

usernother · 05/07/2024 08:26

I wouldn't allow a 7 or a 9 year old to buy make up. You're the parent. You don't need to give reasons. Ffs.

Whyisthatonthefloor · 05/07/2024 08:29

@HelpGreatlyAppreciated

A bit of makeup on holiday won’t damage his skin- my DS has been wearing makeup now and again since he was 9 and has perfect skin.

I wouldn’t let himself cake on cheap foundation everyday but a bit of lipstick and blusher occasionally won’t hurt him.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Beauty Christmas
Growlybear83 · 05/07/2024 08:30

Floralnomad · 05/07/2024 00:27

You don’t need to appease him ,facial make up is for older people and that is the end of the conversation .

I agree. Seven is a ridiculous age to be allowing a child to be wearing any type of makeup or skincare product, regardless of their gender. I never allowed my daughter to use anything like that until she was in secondary school.

TemuSpecialBuy · 05/07/2024 08:30

I wouldnt allow a child that young to buy make up irrespective of sex.

It's a firm boundary and i wouldn't move on it.

He's upset/angry/whatever.
Thats okay its a totally normal emotion.
let him be upset
In life he is going to be upset amd the sooner he learns to deal with that the more equipped he is going to be to function in the adult world.

reluctantbrit · 05/07/2024 08:32

Nannyfannybanny · 05/07/2024 08:26

I am surprised that anyone would think it's a good idea for a 7 year old child to be wearing makeup! My DGD now 14 regularly gets it all over the carpet, flooring, bedding, furniture. When she was 10 she took nail varnish (she was allowed it with supervision) and ruined the brand new duvet cover on my bed. Last year a brand new duvet cover on the spare room bed. No way would her parents or GP allow it at such a young age.

A 14 year old should be able to deal with make up responsible, DD has a proper kit since she is 11 and has rules where to use it. The bed is not the right place, adult, child or teen.

A 7 year old who is allowed to play with make up should also have clear rules such as only applying and storying it in the bathroom for example.

C1N1C · 05/07/2024 08:34

I'd be looking into what's being taught at that school...

Lostworlds · 05/07/2024 08:35

Ponderingwindow · 05/07/2024 01:56

Plenty of 7 yo play with makeup.

if he wants to wear makeup, I would talk about what he could choose that is age appropriate. Some nail polish. Maybe some lightly tinted lip moisturizer that can feel like a lip gloss to a child.

also talk about how he will be allowed to make more makeup choices in the future, but you and his dad are still figuring all this out and are learning about what he can do at each age. makeup is generally for older people and you weren’t expecting him asking about this already so you are going to need some time to work out the exact rules.

but in the meantime, let the poor kid have a little something fun. A sparkly lip balm will be enough for now.

This!

I wouldn’t go down the route of making it a boy/ girl thing as that may be what’s upsetting him the most.

I would be firm and explain that age is the factor here and it’s not good for his skin. Go shopping and pick out some other things that he can try.

AltitudeCheck · 05/07/2024 08:41

Could you continue to tell him his skin is too young but compromise and let him learn and apply make up on you (or if they still exist, a GirlsWorld (BoysWorld?) mannequin head?) He'd still get to learn and experiment and be creative and he could have his 'own' make up like a make up artist does.... just not applied on him at his age!

suki1964 · 05/07/2024 08:52

Im in two minds over this
Proper cosmetics for a child are a no no im my eyes but I dont see a problem with childrens play make up, of which there are plenty of brands about

This looks to be ideal www.thenaturalplaymakeupcompany.co.uk/collections/frontpage/products/pressed-powder-natural-play-makeup-kit

CoastalSunsets · 05/07/2024 09:05

If either of my kids had been interested in makeup at age 7, I'd have said no. Some things are just not age appropriate, make up being once of them imo, no matter how upset they are.

MargaretThursday · 05/07/2024 09:14

Ds was about 5 or 6 when he announced loudly in a queue that he needed mascara this year and his blusher was running low. This was for stage as he did panto chorus, which tends to have quite heavy makeup so he saw everyone wearing it so it was normal.

However he's now 17, still goes on stage and has no interest in makeup.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/07/2024 09:16

I would make this about age, not gender.

Talk to him about it again and say that lots of older women and men wear makeup, but that children have delicate skin and it's not good for them to wear makeup too often.

Perhaps have a look for pictures of men wearing makeup, like David Bowie for example, and ask him what he likes about it. You could compromise with some face paint style makeup for playing around with at home from time to time.

I wouldn't want my 7 year old child of either sex to become obsessed with makeup, but these days I wouldn't want to make a big deal out of it, and whatever you do don't say makeup is for girls. We are living in an era where that might make him think that if he likes makeup, that means he is a girl.

Marblessolveeverything · 05/07/2024 09:18

C1N1C · 05/07/2024 08:34

I'd be looking into what's being taught at that school...

Yes quick before he catches being a creative individual! My goodness the pearl clutching.

You do know that a significant of top make up artists are male, artists? Do you think they just got interested at 18

reluctantbrit · 05/07/2024 09:32

C1N1C · 05/07/2024 08:34

I'd be looking into what's being taught at that school...

I am pretty sure Y3 teacher are giving make up lesson nowadays.

God forbid we are teaching children that they can only wear/play with 1950 style approved items and they should never think about going outside sterotypes what they want to be in future.

Shennie100 · 05/07/2024 09:55

LauderSyme · 05/07/2024 00:53

I was going to say let him have the make up and have fun being creative, applying it and wearing it for an agreed short while before washing it off.

But I see no one else thinks that, so maybe it is terrible advice.

Sounds a good compromise to me. I would say to him he is too young at the moment- it's about age, rather than sex.
But maybe letting him have a go and washing it off, may take away some of the mystery and show you will listen and help, but you have some rules.

ReadtheReviews · 05/07/2024 09:55

I find this so odd OP. Liking make up doesn't have to be about your sex unless you make it about it. It is an interest in something that is fun and interesting and attractive to look at. Rock stars, actors, models, artists men wear it. Who cares? Grt him some for fun play at home. At 7 my dd was allowed to wear it in the house for fun but not outside as that was for when she was older. You've basically said to your son he is wrong for liking something that only girls and women like. No wonder he is upset. And what you've said isn't true at all.

Meadowwild · 05/07/2024 10:03

Don't make it a boy/girl thing, please.

Tbh, I would let him, in school holidays. Something forbidden or 'just for girls' will only pique his interest.

DS1 went through a fairy princess phase, age 3 and wanted toe nail paint and princess dresses. Then moved onto his soldier phase and lived in combat gear (and camo face paint, so a knd of make up Grin for about 10 years). He's now an adult and lives in very conventional suits.

DS2 showed no interest in any of that but now as an adult, wears nail varnish and uses concealer.

Bournetilly · 05/07/2024 10:07

Don’t tell him make up is for older girls / women, anyone can wear make up.

Plenty of children his age have play make up (eyeshadow, lipgloss etc). My 4 year old has some of the kits from Claire’s accessories. I would let him buy some lip gloss, eye shadow or nail varnish.

I wouldn’t want him wearing foundation etc because of his age but I would let him experiment with it with your DN if she is willing to share and then wash it off afterwards.

If you say no he’s going to want it more.

sentfrmmyiphone · 05/07/2024 10:08

He's 8! Dont appease the child! Irrespective of gendar, if you don't want your child to wear make up at 8, then say no! and instead of pandering, just tell it how it is!

why dont you want them to wear make up?

be honest.. because to me it sounds like you dont want them to wear makeup purely because they are a boy? and you're making it into this whole unnecessary drama.

sounds like he spends a lot of time with his DN and he is enjoying her company and the activities.

don't make this into something its not! all you will do is encourage him to surpress his feelings and hide things from you.

Brightredtulips · 05/07/2024 10:34

I certainly would not have allowed my 8yr old daughter to wear make up, not even a lip gloss.

Prawncow · 05/07/2024 11:00

I’d make the decision based on age not what sex he is. I wouldn’t want a 7 year old getting into the mad, using adult skincare (Drunk Elephant) that seems to be popular with girls his cousin’s age and I wouldn’t want a 7 year old wearing more than lip balm on a daily basis. As a play set though I don’t see any harm in having a makeup box with lots of colours and maybe some sparkle. I’d just make sure I had a gentle, effective make up remover on hand.

Kyros · 05/07/2024 11:24

Marblessolveeverything · 05/07/2024 08:20

In appalled that noone is saying this. Are we back in the 1950s? So because he is a boy it's a no!

Good luck op because you are sending a very inappropriate message to your son . Boys can't do xyz. HotHe liked princesses, make up well now he knows to hide his likes.

At 7 he is well accustomed to societal expectations through school.Poor kid.

Show quote history

Not at all. Not everyone says yes to make up for 7 year olds, irrespective of sex.

OP you can have different rules for your child than his cousin has. You can say no makeup before age 12 in our family, or nothing yet then play make up from say 9. Explain how different families have different rules. Don't define it by his cousin's age, make your own decisions and incur his wrath! But make it about age not sex.

At 7 he is probably just interested in whatever his grown up cousin is into. You could concede to nail polish in the holidays perhaps.

Deadringer · 05/07/2024 11:43

That would be a very easy no from me with no appeasing necessary, 7 is too young for make up. Some pps have said a little lip gloss nail polish is no harm, that's their opinion, if you don't want him wearing them just say no, he will get over it.

maw1681 · 05/07/2024 11:47

If it's because of his age fine but why can a boy not wear makeup?
I allow my 9 year old DD to wear nail varnish and sometimes lip gloss and she has some glitter eyeshadow from Claire's, she doesn't have proper makeup and I wouldn't want her putting anything on her skin like foundation but it's not because she's a girl it's because she's 9!