7 yr old DS wants to buy makeup

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Hello. On a family holiday with DS who is 8 soon, and other family members.

This is massively outing so I have NC'd. DS is very close to his cousins, eldest being Dear Niece (NC). DN is age 10, very girly and loves makeup/beauty etc. All the kids have spending money, only rules we set was no food/juice and it had to fit into their suitcases. Until yesterday no drama over what my DS wants to spend it on. Yesterday he and DN bought pamper stuff, moisturisers, headbands, face masks etc and decided to have a pamper night on Saturday after dinner. However today DS & DD wanted to go shopping again this time for makeup. I said no to DS buying makeup. Gave him the reasons 1. Bad for his skin which is currently perfect 2. Makeup is for older girls & women. He's devastated. Eventually got him to sleep and he still feels I'm being unfair as he feels he loves makeup and is interested in it.

Background is when much younger 3ish he was obsessed with Disney Princesses, liked his nails done etc. since then we've fostered and encouraged all interests but not really came across the makeup thing until he asked for it at Christmas. I said no and explained why plus he's fully aware he does not get everything on his list.

DH agrees with no makeup but like me is upset at how upset DS is. It's horrible and I do not want this to play a dampner on his holiday or DNs as she shouldn't feel bad for buying makeup if her partners let her.

Any ideas of how I can better appease him? I explained I can go shopping with him and we can look at this brand he's so interested in and see what beauty stuff they offer that's NOT makeup. I've also reminded him he's bought some cool stuff already so he does have other interests.

Thank you if you've read this far

I'd say 7yo is too young for makeup and that's it's no good for young skin, regardless of sex. One of my DS liked nail varnish on toes at that age, I'd agree to that in school holidays. He's absolutely mortified if it's mentioned now at 16. My DD won't be getting makeup until teens, if she wants it. As a lifelong no/minimal make up person its not something I'll encourage though. I'd make it about age not sex.

Obviously I didn't "allow" my DGD at 10/14 to put nail varnish on,on the beds, she sneaked in to the room and did it! Full make up kit at 11!!! They're children, they grow up quickly enough.

Like others have said, I'd not focus on it being a girl / boy thing, but more an age thing. Maybe compromise with a tinted lip balm and nail varnish. Also, my dd has a pretend makeup kit. Not sure if he'd be too old for that?

I think both of your reasons are pretty feeble.

"Bad for his skin which is currently perfect" Yet you've just allowed him to spend an evening using moisturisers and face masks on his perfect skin. That's no better or worse than a bit of make up.

"Make up is for older girls and women". Ridiculous! If you're pushing that idea you're only going to make him self-conscious and anxious about his own interests. And he'll learn to hide interests from you and your DH as he grows up.

What's your reason for pushing the sexism around make up? Are you worried your son will grow up to be... a make up artist? actor? special effects artist?

You told him he could spend his holiday money on anything that fits in a suitcase except food and drink so I think you should let him buy the make up.

This

All you're doing is making your son feel ashamed of the things he lies. How sad for him

@Nannyfannybanny - well then your DGD should get appropriate punishment, buying new bedding, no pocket money or extra chores to make up for it. That is not a make up issue, that's careless behaviour by a teen.

DD got a kit because she started secondary, turned 11 just weeks prior. From then she was allowed tinted moisturiser and mascara outside home, more just for parties or to wear at home.
She had stuff previously as she needed it for her dance shows.

Oh, and some days her preferred coverage was mud when she was out with her Scout group. She also loved Lego and teddies.

I would agree with you that he is simply too young for make up. Would nail varnish and a slightly coloured lip balm satisfy his want gor make up without it being damaging to his skin or not age appropriate?

It would be a no from me, but only because he's too young. When he's older, fine.

DGD,did get punishment. She doesn't have pocket money.

I think saying it's for 'older girls and women' is a bit black and white as a statement. The fact is males and females both wear makeup, often in their early teens onwards. There are even makeup ranges aimed at men.
Can you stick with the fact that it's mainly for older people, and that's it's overpriced and bad for the skin. If he's into the environment and animals you could talk about animal testing, chemicals going into the water supply etc?

Personally I let my 7yo's use my bronzer (they always liked the big brush) and face paint and nail varnish Apart from that I said no to makeup until high school. Yes, children fuss for things they want. I didn't buy high heels or have their ears pierced either. (DS was particularly cross about the no to ear piercing) And I definitely didn't get guinea pigs despite the crying and fussing for days. Sometimes as a parent you have to parent.

I wouldn't let a son or daughter wear make up outside of the house at that age, other than maybe some nail polish.

This has reminded me of having to pretend to do DS' make up as a toddler when I was doing mine. As PP above, it was all about the fluffy brush.

He did like a bit of nail polish too.

Why did you say the older girls and women thing? Just say he's too young.

I dont see how a little bit of make up could hurt? I get the skin thing as my oldest has eczema and had to be really careful. But I don't see how letting him play with some eye shadow and a lip gloss or something would be too problematic at this age. As long as he wasn't covering his face in stuff all day every day.

We do need to be careful not to constantly Impose adult trains of thought onto what is just kids playing and exploring the world around them. Says more about the adults than the kids.

Thanks all so much for you comments. I really appreciate it.

I think the boy/girl argument is relevant as I feel he's at an age where I want to celebrate/support him but also protect him from things where he may be bullied for example.

We have compromised and he's allowed to buy lip balms from the makeup brand he's interested in. That seems to have been a compromise he's happy with for now.