Stb boyfriend constantly telling me to work out?

[dypoig]

He claims I will look better to him and to myself.

Admittedly, I am now overweight from my "usual weight" but I met and started talking to him when I was overweight also. It's due to a variety of illnesses rather than just not working out or whatever but that's by the by.

Is this a red flag?

He just continuously keeps commenting that I should be working out. Fwiw I have never complained to him that I don't like my body etc. He just randomly brings it up.

Yes it’s a red flag! This perfect Mr Universe needs to fuck right off.

Of course it's a red flag. It's concerning that you need to ask. He's negging you before your even dating and it will only get worse. I presume he has the body of a Greek god?

Definitely a red flag.

what's an stb boyfriend?

Red flag 🚩

Yes.

I think I just feel like because I'm currently overweight then perhaps that what I should be told. I don't know.

I'd never comment on his body but it's not muscly at all. I would just never try to tell someone how I think they'd look better, that's not up to me surely?

Why would you even consider a man like this?

I have been married a long time and been many different weights over the years. My dh has never asked me to change my body to suit him, nor would I ask him. So red flag definitely.

Soon to be, I think.

He's a shallow and stupid git

Thanks for the responses.

He is not boyfriend material. He doesn't like you for who you are and will not support you in the future. Dump.

How is he 'stb', assuming it's soon to be? He ought to be ngb (never gonna be). What an arse.

Just be thankful you had an early warning, and get out of Dodge.

Trust your instincts, they're good, you know this is wrong and that's why you've started this thread. What kind of a person undermines someone else's confidence to suit their own agenda, nobody you'd want to tether yourself to, that's for sure.

He's a soon to be boyfriend? What does that even mean? He's either your boyfriend, or he's not 🤷🏻‍♀️
Either way, I'd tell him to fuck off.

You've got an eejit critcising you and you aren't in a relationship with him?
The only thing you need to work on is your self esteem.
You are worth so much better than this unpleasant plonker.

'Soon to be boyfriend'?
Soon to be? Why? I wouldn't touch him with a bargepole, but can't help being intrigued by 'soon to be'.
Please tell me he's not waiting for you to lose weight!

He sounds a bit of a prat! He is just issuing orders to you without thinking about reasons and consequences.
You say you have had illness which has had an effect on your body. Does he mention that and consider it?
Women never need telling about their size. They all know.
You need someone to help you build up your general health and general well being. Then you will want to do energetic and stimulating things.
Ignore him. Start working on your general morale and well being and health first is my recommendation.

You know you don’t ever have to see him, speak to him or hear his voice ever again, right?

And that would only be a good thing.

What do you say back?

It's not even a consideration. He thinks I'm overweight simply due to not working out. He doesn't work out either but that doesn't matter apparently.

Thank you for all your replies. It's given me a lot of food for thought.
As pp said I'm already aware of my weight and if it was entirely in my control I'd only change it for myself anyway, not for anyone else.

He makes me feel like I should be grateful he's even talking to me. He's definitely made me feel worse not better which is the opposite of what he should be doing imo

Thinking this now too

Honestly I would just say "why do you keep saying that?" and watch him squirm. If he doesn't squirm, he's even more of a twat than he's coming across now and I'd run a mile.

Everyone knows what you eat is more important than exercise anyway.

I worked with a guy who really liked someone but wanted her to lose weight before he got into a relationship with her. She did and it worked out, but it was more for genuine health reasons than because she'd put on a bit of weight after being ill.

Mostly that I will only do it if I want to do it.