Why are people so territorial over parking?

[IndigoIgloo]

I was visiting my mother today who has had a lot of problems with her neighbours in the past about parking, etc. It's an over 50's area so lots of the neighbours are elderly and have quite 'busy body' mentalities.

It's all on street parking. No one has allocated spaces. I parked up and was unloading some things from my car when a elderly man pulled up next to me and asked me how long I was going to be.

I was confused as there was a large empty space right behind my car so no issue with not being able to park. I said I'd just arrived so wasn't leaving yet. He said "don't I think he should have the right to park in front of his house?"

I said not really as it's a public road without allocated parking so anyone can park anywhere.

He drove off down the road so I continued unloading my car, looked up and he'd turned round and driven back and was waiting in the road watching me. I ignored him, carried on with what i was doing. Next thing is he's gotten out of his car and come over to ask how long I'm going to take. I said again, I'm not leaving yet.

Again he said he should have the right to park in front of his house. I said ok so park in front of your house?? There is a space RIGHT THERE behind my car, next to his house. He said no, I want to park THERE pointing to where my car was. I told him he was just being difficult. He said I'm 91 and have paid £1400 towards the road being fixed, you can go and park somewhere else.

Then proceeded to tell me how he and the rest of the neighbourhood don't like my mum to which I replied "well that's the real reason you're doing this then isn't it? You wouldn't be so quick to tell your other neighbours guests to move would you?"

I was about to tell him that I'd move elsewhere just so he'd shut up about it but before I could start he called me an ignorant cow so I said if you're going to insult me I'm won't do you any favours and walked off to my mums house.

Watched him from her house and he parked in the space behind my car and reversed into the back of my car while he did it.

But seriously, what is it about parking that sends people nuts like this?! Fair enough if I'd parked on his drive or allocated space but it's literally a roadside and there was plenty of other space available.

He damaged your car then?

I'd be getting his details and passing them on to your insurance company

As to why some people think they own the space outside their house I have no idea. It would be nice to park a caravan in his spot and just leave it there for a few months whilst blocking his view too

Yes I am petty

He’s 91 and he reversed into your car?
I’d be questioning whether he should still be driving.
Take down his reg and report him to your insurance company.
Even better if caught on any door cameras.

@sanogo No damage, he didn't reverse into it at speed, just bumped into it while parking (most likely deliberately) but no damage occurred.

I don't get it. If you want to park outside your house then get a home with a driveway? Otherwise accept that you have on street parking and if you get a space outside yours then great, if you don't then tough.

As he is 91, if there hadn't of been a space behind my car then I would have just moved for him straight away to keep the peace as I'm not about to argue that a 91 year old should park down the street and walk back if I can move for them. But there was a literal space right there. 2ft from my car. Utter madness that he expected me to stop unpacking my stuff, get in my car and reverse into that space for him so he could park where I was.

People are strange.

“to park a caravan in his spot and just leave it there for a few months whilst blocking his view too”

And that!

I've had this on a couple of occasions. It's a public road, no dropped kerb. But if you ask me politely I'll move. Once was unloading a bike out of the car and someone had pulled up close to me then came out to watch in case I damaged his car. Wouldn't reverse it a couple of feet. After removing some small items I just rolled my car fwd those 2 ft. Problem solved but I let him sweat first.

What annoys me is that 3 doors down from him there is a neighbour who actually has had a driveway built. He has 4 cars and doesn't park any of them on his driveway. He parks them all on the road. But the other neighbours don't have a go at him and tell him to move. However they begrudged my mum parking her car anywhere on the road as soon as she moved in.

It's annoying, the issue probably isn't really the cars but more likely bullying.

I think it's an age thing. My DM goes mental when someone parks outside her house. I don't know because she doesn't have a car. I don't like it when someone parks outside my house but I'd never ask them to move. I'd just park somewhere else till they leave.

Report him. He hit your car deliberately.. If he was 19 not 91 no doubt he would get a bollocking... Op I have 2 cars I will happily leave 1 there for a fortnight... Let me know...

Perhaps it is an age thing. Or maybe I'm just used to it as I live in a place with on street parking so am used to it being first come first served with parking and just parking whereever there is a space. Some days I have to park 2 streets away.. wouldn't dream of telling the person outside my house to move though because I want to park there. So weird.

The houses there also have very long front gardens which are sloped so it's not like the cars are close to their house.. so someone else parking 'outside' their house isn't even that close so why does it matter?

I know someone with a driveway who always parks on the road in front of the house.

I guess there's a certain practical motivation, because on occasion some idiot person has parked on the road in front of the car in the driveway, blocking it in. But in general, it's probably a control/dominance thing.

Yep we have a complete twat in our road who thinks he can tell people not to park in the road outside his house. He has a driveway but parks on the road so no one else can. What a knob

Nice to see a bit more ageism on MN. Over 50s are elderly? Elderly people have a busy body mentality? You do realise that people over 50 are individuals just like those under 50?

Half of the other side of the road here don't have drives. They are all absolutely obsessed with the spaces. It's so entertaining watching the multiple manoeuvres of literal centimetres so that they all can keep their preferred positions.

@Blackcats7 Yes, I consider the people living there who are mostly in their 80s and 90s elderly. I said over 50s area as that's what it's classed as, 50 is the youngest age you can be to rent there.

In my experience the elderly people I've met have always had the worst busybody attitudes. I'm sure there are younger people who are equally as bad but in my experience it's always been more prevelant in the elderly.

I agree with you OP. It is bizarre. It's probably more about change as streets have got busier, more households have multiple cars and always being able to easily pull up outside your own house has become more and more difficult.

It sounds like your mum has made no friends in the area she lives. But yes we have an odd neighbour who thinks they can dictate parking, crazy people.

My parents' road is a bit like this (although no one ever confronts anyone!). They're 1930 houses, so not built with two cars per family in mind, and the original garages and driveways are uncomfortably small for modern cars.

There's juuuuust enough space for everyone if everyone parks outside their house, but once one person's space is taken by someone else then they park in a different space and then those people come home and park elsewhere and there's a big domino effect. It's a nice road so when people have to park outside the wrong house they then spend the night watching for their space to come free so they can move from their neighbour's etc.

The parking is a bit stressful, working together eases it so someone going against that isn't popular. I do find it a bit much when I visit but I understand why it happens.

It is the comment that nobody likes your mum that would annoy me most. Is that true? Why?
What a nasty man to even say that,

Some of our neighbours have the same mentality and incredibly it's the ones who actually have driveways but choose to park outside their house on the road FFS.
I just don't get it !!!!
Also the comments about your mum were just plain nasty and mean. I'm sorry you had such an unpleasant experience.

Thus man wasn't being a busy body, he was being an ignorant git !!!

@coldcallerbaiter It did really annoy me. Unfortunately she's had issues with them from the start. Began over parking, no matter where she parked they would come and knock on her door and tell her to move. The rest of the issues are because she is likely undiagnosed autistic so struggles socially and makes social faux pas and prefers to keep herself to herself because of this. I feel like it's a case of her face doesn't fit so they've been unkind to her.

I wouldnt worry too much OP, it's the latest thing on MN, anyone who mentions anyone older in a disparaging light is ageist!

To answer the OP, the territorial aspect is way wider than age-related in general, however I'm betting for a good number of older people, their world shrinks after retirement, and the road becomes part of it.

I sometimes think that it's an alpha male thing.

I have my car up my driveway and my small camper parked in front of my own dropped kerb. (Definitely not a dropped kerb for mobility/pram users - there is one of those a couple of houses along.)

I lost DH during lockdown and only left the house when absolutely necessary - bereavement depression.

One night there was a disturbance outside and the entire street was out. A bloke I didn't know (turns out he's the boyfriend of an actual resident - has a works van and sometimes stays overnight) - suddenly pointed to my van: "That thing never moves!" Then pointed at my car: "Neither does that!"

I managed to say "It does. Just not when you're around."

I got the impression he was miffed because he wanted to park his works van in front of my driveway. A few days later, his girlfriend's primary-aged son made the same comment about my vehicles. (Originally, the car was DH's.)

Another widow down the street had a male neighbour telling her that he'd be parking across her driveway in future, because his next-door neighbour is constructing a driveway, meaning he can no longer park one of his vehicles in front of the neghbour's house. (My pal told him where to go.)

Another widow pal has a shared driveway. The new neighbour (male) called the police on her for parking in her own half of the driveway. That one was quite funny - the police told him off because his large campervan was obstructing my pal's half of the driveway.

In all three cases, I'm betting they wouldn't have tangled with a burly man.

ETA Since age has been mentioned: my alpha male was in his mid-thirties/ early forties; pal's AM was in his 60s; 2nd pal's AM is in his early thirties.