Why are people so territorial over parking?

[IndigoIgloo]

I was visiting my mother today who has had a lot of problems with her neighbours in the past about parking, etc. It's an over 50's area so lots of the neighbours are elderly and have quite 'busy body' mentalities.

It's all on street parking. No one has allocated spaces. I parked up and was unloading some things from my car when a elderly man pulled up next to me and asked me how long I was going to be.

I was confused as there was a large empty space right behind my car so no issue with not being able to park. I said I'd just arrived so wasn't leaving yet. He said "don't I think he should have the right to park in front of his house?"

I said not really as it's a public road without allocated parking so anyone can park anywhere.

He drove off down the road so I continued unloading my car, looked up and he'd turned round and driven back and was waiting in the road watching me. I ignored him, carried on with what i was doing. Next thing is he's gotten out of his car and come over to ask how long I'm going to take. I said again, I'm not leaving yet.

Again he said he should have the right to park in front of his house. I said ok so park in front of your house?? There is a space RIGHT THERE behind my car, next to his house. He said no, I want to park THERE pointing to where my car was. I told him he was just being difficult. He said I'm 91 and have paid £1400 towards the road being fixed, you can go and park somewhere else.

Then proceeded to tell me how he and the rest of the neighbourhood don't like my mum to which I replied "well that's the real reason you're doing this then isn't it? You wouldn't be so quick to tell your other neighbours guests to move would you?"

I was about to tell him that I'd move elsewhere just so he'd shut up about it but before I could start he called me an ignorant cow so I said if you're going to insult me I'm won't do you any favours and walked off to my mums house.

Watched him from her house and he parked in the space behind my car and reversed into the back of my car while he did it.

But seriously, what is it about parking that sends people nuts like this?! Fair enough if I'd parked on his drive or allocated space but it's literally a roadside and there was plenty of other space available.

In a demographic where mobility is difficult, I understand residents being precious about parking spaces. There will be an unspoken rule where everyone has their unofficial spot, and if you park in his, he has to park in someone else's. There is no need for him to be an arse about it though.

@IndigoIgloo we have the same problem here. My dad visits rarely and parked on the road two doors down. The bloke who lives there tried threatening my dad as he was parked in "his"place. Public road no allocated parking...... I called the police on the neighbour. Bugger that lol 😂

I’ve never had a drive and always lived somewhere where parking is in short supply and first come first served. I find these threads fascinating. My road has loads of very expensive cars (these are million pound plus houses) and they often have to park them a couple of roads away. Doesn’t seem to cause an issue, unless you’re standing guard I don’t see they’re any more or less likely to be nicked.

The people who live in places where everyone just parks in “their” space - don’t you have visitors ever?

In that case it does sound like it may be a private road. Even so, my mum pays rent to live on the same road so surely has as much right to park on it? That neighbour doesn't leave the space that she parks in free when she's gone out. My mum comes home to find other cars (guests of the other neighbours) parked outside her house in the space she uses. She doesn't go and tell them to move. She just parks wherever the next space is available.

So if they can't extend the same courtesy to her then why should they expect me to do the same?

A private road is owned by the people that own the houses and pay for its upkeep. They may well view renters as inferior (not saying that’s right or fair).

That's probably the case. But the housing association owns the house my mum lives in and she pays rent to live there so surely her rent is covering the costs the housing association are paying for the property? So she is also paying towards the upkeep. She pays a service charge on top of her rent.

It's probably as you've said that they don't view her or her visitors as having as much right to park there.

There isn't any signage on the road though saying it's private. Maybe they should put some there if they don't want any parking here.

I don’t understand this either. Our road is a deadend with a turnaround at the end and all houses have garages and/or driveways. Our elderly neighbours, who we get on with fine, just hates anyone parking directly out the front of their house. They have a double garage, with double driveway, giving 4 off-road spaces although they only have 2 cars as kids all gone now.
another neighbour has a couple of grown up kids both with own cars, but they have to park on road as not enough owned spaces. Our elderly neighbours will always park one of their cars directly in front of their house, right on the boundary between next doors just to spite everyone else even though they have more than enough off road spaces. This causes problems for some vehicles trying to turn round as they park just as the turning circle starts and of course others have to park on road now.
i think one of them as had their car clipped by a delivery van recently and moaned about that….ive had to bite my lip that if they just used their bloody driveway it wouldnt have happened. 🙄

That's awful. :(

Why don't you like it when someone parks outside your house?

It's not an age thing. My friend lives next to a young couple and the husband obsesses with parking outside his house. If he can't, he looks out of the window waiting for someone to move and then runs out.

If it is a private road, and they're all that bothered about parking outside their houses, they can employ a contractor to paint some allocated parking spaces on the road. Without that, I'd have the same attitude as you OP. No way would I move my car for someone so rude. If they asked nicely, and explained they had mobility issues and that's why they need to park outside, then I probably would. But no way would I do as I was told by someone with that gentleman's attitude.

Have these people not got actual things to occupy their thoughts? They must be permanently disgruntled if they get that worked up by parking, I can't imagine living like that.

We had a neighbour who had a disabled space outside his house and his daughter would park next to it . As soon as she went to work, he would come out, move his car out of his space into the one she'd vacated and "save" it all day for her. Then 5 minutes before she came back he'd go out and move his back into his disabled space - absolutely mad!

@saveforthat Good grief, imagine being that obsessed with parking that you'd waste time out of your day running I and out the house to move the car.

I don't even visit my mum at her home that often as she spends a lot of time over at my house as she doesn't like to be at hers, so it's not even like they have either of our cars there often taking up space.

I used to have a neighbour like this, we all had driveways including him but he would park on the road which meant he could get out of his car and go straight to his front door rather then park on his drive and walk an extra few steps. Was a pain in the arse for us as he parked directly opposite the bottom of our drive we could get on and off ok but it was just a little more work. But God help anyone who parked outside his front door which was at the end of the day public space! He would go and knock and tell people to move! I started parking there to make a point because I'm like that, but he never said a word to me about it 🙂

One would hope by 91 one would have developed some humility and understanding of how things work.

Someone having 4 cars kind of screws it all up though doesn't it

But sadly no proof

If he struggles to manoeuvre or know where he is on the road then he should not be driving.

You could report him to the DVLA OP - say he hit your car and although you're not taking it further you're concerned that he's no longer fit to drive.

I don't think it's an age thing. I always park on my own drive unless some twat has blocked the access, which happens infrequently. In these instances, when I can I park in front of my house (drive is at the rear). My next door neighbour, who has the same parking facilities as me, likes to park out front and cannot bear to see my car on what he's become used to thinking of as his third space, in front of my gate. I move my car as soon as access to my drive becomes available again and he positively hares to his van to put it in front of my gate again. Boggles my mind, but it happens every time.
I'm also a newcomer, like your mum, but they count things in centuries here. Fifteen years in the same house is nothing.

@Cangar

Who the actual fuck woul buy a million pound house with no parking?

I know a million doesn't buy you the kind of house it used to, but. No parking? - fuck that for a joke!!

I did 😅

Its also got no garden (just a yard). I love the area though! It’s honestly not at all unusual for London - I’m far from the fanciest part!

I would be reporting the 91 year old to the police, tell them you think he has age related issues and shouldn't be driving. Also get yoir mum a ring doorbell so you can check what's going on

I'm not going to report him to the police as I can't be bothered with the drama it'll cause and don't want to make things worse for my mum. I'm not there often so doesn't affect me but it'll affect her if they decide to be even more nasty.

My mums front door is round the side of the house so a ring doorbell wouldn't see the road at all. Is it possible to attach them anywhere? If it could go on the wall at the front of the garden it would cover the entrance to her property and possible act as a deterrent.

Or they would just complain / report that it is infringing on their rights to privacy or something.