An unpopular boundary your parent/s set that you thank them for now.

[Absolutelyfractious]

Been reading a few books lately about childhood memories and the concept of being grateful to parents/family for setting a limit, keeping a boundary, having them stick with something which actually as an adult they are now very grateful for.

I had very free range parenting myself, so I'm wondering if anyone has had anything they are glad their parents made them do!

Light-hearted or inspiration please.

Never smoking, it was a sin the same with drugs. My dad was a heavy drinker for a few years so that made me realise the split personality thing really wasn’t for me. Always had good eating habits which stuck. Always polite and understanding. My mum was just a lovely person and I’d like to think people think that of me.

I absolutely love this. In the long run, you appreciated what she did even though it must have been difficult all round.

Eating only at set times (breakfast, lunch, afterschool snack, tea, and supper). I moaned about it when I was a child but I realise now how much healthier that was than just snacking whenever.

Walking to school (and to anywhere else I wanted to go) always, no matter the weather. Tbf it wasn't actually unpopular to me, I liked walking, but other parents thought my parents were cruel for always making us walk (meanwhile my friend who got driven, would get her mum to drop her off at my house so she could walk with me and our other friends that lived nearby because she felt she was missing out on the fun of walking to school)

I try to keep both these rules for my children but I'm not so great at being firm as my mum was, need to try harder.

You're right @redskydarknight I did mean 'unpopular' stuff along those lines, or being made to stick with something. Something you railed against / really didn't want to do at the time.

I didn’t have any boundaries as a child and looking back as an adult I can see that has a lot to do with my hypervigilance and sense of independence, maybe in a good way, but also very much in a damaging way. I think a lot about what it would have been like to have a parent who looked out for my best interests and didn’t just do what was easy for them.

So I can’t give you an example but I do often wonder if my dc one day will appreciate how I’m doing things differently. It sure doesn’t feel like it now! 😂

Also going back over 50 years (DF died in 1967) and still mentally kick myself when I say wanna and gonna.

Me too!

Saving up to buy things, not getting into debt. Obviously as a child I was too young to get into debt, but by the time I was old enough she'd scared me off borrowing and credit cards at a time when getting a credit or a personal loan was easy (pre-2008) and all my friends were wracking up credit card debt like no tomorrow, simply because they could (it seemed like free money and we don't get taught that stuff in schools). I got a credit card later in life when I had the sense to use it wisely.

Not plucking my eyebrows into a really thin line. It was all the rage when I was 13+ and I was so upset that she forbid it. But looking back now I can see I would have looked ridiculous! My eyebrows are actually fine so I'm glad I didn't mess with them.

Oh one that was really unpopular with me. I wasn't allowed to watch The Monkeys tv show on a Saturday morning, mum thought it was vulgar. Had to sneak round the block and watch at a friends.
Very into proper social skills, I am confident in any surrounding because of this, especially interviews. Hated it at the time.

More the opposite for me. My parents made me cycle, swim, go to musuems and learn a musical instrument on the basis I would thank them/enjoy and carry on these things as an adult. I didn't and I don't. Nor will I force my children to do these things.

Mine enforced healthy eating. It wasn't extreme, but we only had wholemeal stuff (brown bread, brown rice, brown pasta), had home cooked healthy dinners and no processed food, fizzy drinks, etc. We were allowed sweets once a week at the weekend, ice creams on holiday, the occasional takeaway, etc., but we didn't have junk food in the house and would be told off for eating white bread or drinking a Coke, etc. It was both a health thing and a money thing - we didn't have much money so food was well planned and money didn't get wasted on junk. It was annoying at the time, but looking back I think it gave us children a really good foundation of health and good habits for life. Even though I am lying on the sofa with chocolate rice cakes right now.

Nah. I was the youngest of four, and no trouble at all.

But my parents ruthlessly imposed all the overreacting rules they made up for the older three.

Mine also didn't allow me to drink underage whereas quite a few friends and family members were almost encouraged to do so. It really annoyed me at the time, especially when we were at family gatherings at about 15/16 were all the other kids of my age were getting drunk with their parents' blessing. My DM never challenged their parents over what they were doing but watched me to make sure I wasn't sneeking a drink and made it clear to everyone else that I wasn't allowed.

At the time I felt like I was being treated like a little kid whilst the others were grown up, which was annoying and embarrassing. Sadly, it seems that there is a propensity to addictive behaviour in our family and several of the other people of my age went on to develop alcoholism (including some of the parents, who I suspect probably had a problem back then too).