An unpopular boundary your parent/s set that you thank them for now.

[Absolutelyfractious]

Been reading a few books lately about childhood memories and the concept of being grateful to parents/family for setting a limit, keeping a boundary, having them stick with something which actually as an adult they are now very grateful for.

I had very free range parenting myself, so I'm wondering if anyone has had anything they are glad their parents made them do!

Light-hearted or inspiration please.

Nothing comes to mind. The vast majority of the rules were arbitrary, irrational (even for an adult) and the goal posts kept changing. The most useful thing i learned was to make it look like i'M following the rules without actually doing it , lie like a pro and to analyse the cost/benefit of breaking said rules and just fuck it sometimes.

I wasn’t allowed any alcohol while underage, and a lot of my friends drank. When I was 14 I resented my parents for it, but now I can see why they did it.

Oh the shoe bag for our outdoor shoes! with our initials (wonkily) embroidered.

Yes, I went to a school that taught girls embroidery.

What DF taught me was not just the uppers but right where the uppers join the sole. There was a thing called Padawax which was a polish impregnated sponge with holder, which meant you could get the edge of the sponge right into the join. Sunday night was shoe cleaning night.

Omg yes! I was always forced into conversation with elderly relatives, priests, old people in the village, their friends… no matter what I was expected to be polite and talk to them - even as a young child mum would drag me out if I tried to hide behind her legs. I ended up the teen who my friends’ parents liked and can rub along well with colleagues of all ages, plus strong relationships with my grandparents when they were alive.

It’s interesting how most of these things would be deemed abusive on some level on MN if we tried them now…

Those too. When we visited DF on board ship I was expected to sit with the adults (from about age 10) at dinner and make conversation.

My parents made me write thank you letters after every Christmas and Birthday. Now I give presents to nephews, nieces, cousins and godchildren I can see how much this is appreciated and I know that my children’s letters are appreciated by the people who receive them.

Though I enjoyed swimming, but having to go to a swimming club every week and being taken to the baths every weekend. So glad I leant how to swim well. Xx

As a teenager mum was always lining me up with part- time jobs. Paper rounds, cleaning, shop work, gardening, admin, baby sitting etc. It gave me an excellent work ethic and my own children will work part time throughout their teens, too.

No sweets or fizzy drinks when I was little. As a result I never developed a taste for them and have good teeth to this day.

General overprotectiveness and paranoia about my safety (ex social worker for a parent). With all the horrific things that have come out about child abuse I am so grateful to have been protected, even if it has made me a bit of an anxious person. I'll take that quite frankly.

cooking from scratch. I can produce a roast dinner easily, fillet fish, make any kind of sauce. Ironically I’m a vegetarian.

Waste not, want not.

An interest in the world around me, local , national & international news.

Sn appreciation for the natural world.

Not me but my DD recently said she was really grateful to me that I didn't let her get Facebook/social media when she was much younger.
This came about after her classmates started trawling though others sm and shared photos of them, when they were much younger, nothing really bad, maybe just silly poses, dancing videos etc but def embarrassing to the teenagers now.

Limited tv

Manners and table manners, with both of those you could go any where and not feel overwhelmed. Table manners are highly judged on here, there was a thread about what was the most off putting vice someone can have and table manners were at the top.

Clean shoes, DDad was ex RAF so they had to shine, I do notice peoples shoes even now.

DDad could forgive us anything apart from smoking and drugs, both would get you in the end. No one in the family has ever touched either.

Thank you letters.

I went to two weddings last month and gave quite a lot of money to both - more than I can really afford. One I couldn't attend but still send a card and some money (£50).

Not had any kind of thanks from either. No text, email, letter, card etc.

I'm glad I was taught to say thank you and have ensured my DC do the same.

I resented all the rules and still do. For me it's had the opposite effect. For example, my parents were very strict with table manners and doing things properly as an adult,. I eat off my lap in front of the tv as I find sitting round a table stifling.

We didn’t have a TV until I was 11. I’m really grateful for that now because it meant I read a lot.

Manners were important, but they were modelled, rather than insisted on.

Bedtimes were routine, another thing I’m grateful for, and breakfast was mandatory.

No sweets. We did get nuts from the health food shop though. They felt just as much of a treat.

My parents were quite poor financially, but my childhood was rich in outdoor experiences. We camped a lot; swam in the sea, lakes and rivers; hiked, and cycled long distances. I still do all of that now, but have added kayaking, paddleboarding and sailing (my dad was nervous around deep water).

The older I get, the more I realise how fortunate I was to have the parents I did!

I was barely speaking to my mum as a 16yo as I was immensely stubborn and a nightmare and she just sort of…sallied on. She kept pulling me up on all the things she always had - so no rudeness, respect everyone else in the house, some chores expected, and she absolutely sat on my head about revising for GCSEs despite some blazing rows and me kicking and screaming my way through it. I have excellent GCSEs which enabled me to to get great A-levels and go on to do a degree. I’m not sure I’d have got there without her and I admire her so much for persevering and not just sacking it off because I was so vile.

This.

My parents wouldn't let me out in evenings and I used to feel like I was missing out. (As a parent myself, when I look back- I'm glad.) Alot of friends got into so much trouble, I do feel its given them an unhealthy relationship with men and partners they keep choosing. As well as the other factors that come along drugs/ alcohol.

My parents made it very clear that in a family the adults were in charge and children did as they were told. They also applied this to adults in loco parentis - grandparents, teachers, friends' parents. "Being cheeky" was a punishable offence. We were also expected to do well at school, though I'm sure my mother would have advocated strongly on our behalf if any of us had had learning difficulties. And they taught us not to push into a conversation when we have nothing useful to say, and not to expect other people to solve our problems for us.

I was more inclined to let my own children trust their instincts about other adults because I once got a spanking due to a neighbour telling a lie about me having said something insolent to her, but when I had to teach them that they couldn't order one another around I felt sympathy for my mother trying to stop me from "helping" my younger sisters in the same way.

I was trying to think of something and failing, but you’re right! Using cutlery and also speaking properly! I used to get so fed up being told to sound my t’s etc, but it eventually sunk in 😆

And I bet she really admires you. You both sound fab.

From what age was this? My DC would love this but I'm not sure if age appropriate

DF would pull us up if we said something like 'dunno' instead of 'don't know.' Even now I watch that I'm not slipping into that habit.

Ditto, so do I, and I’m going back 50 years 😆
( Just remembered ‘wanna’ )

I think one of the things I'm finding interesting about this thread is that OP asked for "unpopular" rules -- and a lot of people are stating stuff on here that I would have thought was "normal" e.g. saying please and thank you; using cutlery properly; going to school unless ill; healthy eating etc.

I took it more to mean stuff that your parents made you do that was at odds with your peers (the classic "no one else has to do it" ... and genuinely no one else does). So for example, my parents were a fan of the early bedtime, so I was going to bed at 7.30pm until I was 14 when I kicked up a huge fuss (and ended up in trouble) when they relented and increased it to 8pm. I used to lie awake for ages and, having had children of my own now, realise that they enforced the early bedtime for their benefit and not for their children's. (This isn't an example of something I thank them for now, by the way)