Children dying in cars due to heat

[Soubriquet]

I know people say accidents happen, but I genuinely can’t understand how people leave their kids in the car and forget about them.

I mean, even when I was so exhausted I forgot my own name, I still had my children in my forefront of my mind.

It’s a heartbreakingly sad and I do feel sorry for the parents when they discover they left their kids in the car but I still don’t understand how.

Easy. Change of routine is the main one I think. There’s a famous article about it by some American journalist I think.

But when I say ‘easy’ I’m not minimising it. But, it is genuinely easily done given the right circumstances.

When did this happen?

Articles on examples of this happening suggest that it's common when there is a change of routine, ie mum taking baby to nursery before going to work, when it would usually be husband taking baby to nursery, or similar. With enough on your mind, and without a reminder (ie if baby was asleep) it might be easier than you think to forget.

In those same articles it describes some of the reactions the parents have when they realise. It could happen to an awful lot of people who might think it could never ever happen to them.

I always put my phone underneath DD's car seat specifically to avoid this exact situation. I had nightmares after reading into it.

Pulitzer Prize winning article from 2009.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

Latest one is a 3 year old in America

It's called "forgotten baby syndrome" and a psychologist I watch on YouTube stands by it. I'm not completely sold.

I saw something on Facebook today about it happening, somewhere in America I think
But there have Been a few cases .

I always put my phone underneath DD's car seat specifically to avoid this exact situation. I had nightmares after reading into it.

But that’s my thing too. Why can people remember their phones/wallets/keys but not a child?

latest one

Because it's habit to take your phone and wallet - and most cases of FBS involve a change in habit where people aren't expecting their child to be there. They zone out when driving and forget.

Don’t forget in America the temperatures get much higher and they get absolutely minimal maternity, paternity and annual leave. So they’re all overworked and exhausted.

Because you'd take keys, phone, whatever, as part of a daily routine.

Parents might be having a change of routine, be sleep deprived, and have a stressful day at work ahead. I can imagine forgetting a baby in the car, because I am chronically forgetful and often forget important things. I don't usually forget things that are part of a routine, like checking my phone's in my pocket after I lock the car. It's probably overkill, but it sets my mind at ease.

Honestly I don't know but I guess if you are doing the morning routine and are on automatic and as a pp said your dropping the baby off rather than your partner, and baby is asleep it could happen
I would like to think it would be a momentarily lapse though
When my now 17 year old was a bsby/ toddler I worked nights and my dh worked days we were permanently exhausted, but Ds1 was always our priority.

I think it’s a stretch to forget a preschooler. Baby I can see you’re exhausted etc. But it’s odd the preschooler wasn’t chatting to their parent on the journey? Why would he think she was at the pool too? If he meant their own, home pool would that not alert him to the fact a three year old should be supervised in a pool.

But people forget keys, wallets etc frequently. It's not a comparison.

Not the same exactly but I drove away without paying for petrol recently. I didn't even realise until I got the notice. It was a station that didn't offer pay at pump which I always use. I can only presume my muscle memory finished putting it in and I got in the cat and drove off because that's what I always do.

I feel so bad for them. It’s horrible and some of the articles really affected me. I still think about it months after reading about it. I’m a bit of a scatterbrain myself. I can see how someone could just get into their routine of going into the office and aren’t actively thinking. They just go through the motions and forget about dropping their child off. I hope these stories get through to people so they realise the danger and how just a slip up could lead to this.

I guess because those are things they would normally grab on their way out the car? Whereas in their mind they've already dropped the child off at nursery

Because thats normal routine, just as I don’t forget to wear shoes to walk to work, because thats my normal routine.

I forgot our son once, I used to go to a friends once a month while my mum babysat, one weekend she couldn’t so I took him with me, about 7:30pm I put him to bed in their spare room. I got home just after 9pm, walked through the door and started asking my mum if he’d settled well etc.

I took my dog with me to the shop the other day. In the boot of the car. When I got back I forgot to take her out the car and back in to the house. Luckily only for 20 minutes and luckily not hot day (northern Scotland) so she was fine. But these things are easily done. Putting your phone under child’s car seat is a really good idea.

Over here you're much less likely to die of heatstroke in a car. The child will be pissed off in 3 hours, but the heat is rarely hot enough to kill.

Very different climate here for 9 months of the year compared to Texas, vegas or Arizona

We have a rental car at the moment in a hot climate and when you turn off the engine a message comes up on the screen to check the rear seat for passengers. I think it's a good idea.

I get it on the way to work I pass the dc’s school. It’s like a Pavlovian response I turn right when I’m supposed to straight. It’s fine as I can drive around the school and rejoin my road but I’m a creature of habit and go into auto pilot in the car.

My dc are older but I do think it could have so easily happened with a change in routine. Tired, stressed, on auto pilot. You slip into your usual pattern.

Incredibly sad though, I used to open the Sun roof a little when I had dc in the back. That way when I stopped the car it would beep annoyingly and I had to go round to backseat to close it and voila sleeping child,

The linked article above explains a lot about the how, rare but horrendous. Not long after I read that the first time my DH drove halfway to work with our 3yo son in the car - he didn’t normally do drop off and just went into autopilot and only realised when DS asked where they were going!! Fortunately in Scotland unlikely to have had the tragic outcome as these cases but it really rattled me.

@Soubriquet that incident happened five years ago. Obviously horrific though of course.