Do your parents understand how much harder getting on the property ladder is today?

[formicha]

For some reason, my mum just cannot and possibly will not understand how much harder it is to get on the property ladder today.

Her two grandchildren are struggling to save up enough of a deposit for a small flat. All she has to add is that maybe the girls shouldn't go on a summer holiday and back when she bought one house, interest rates were 15%.

When I point out that her and dad would only be able to afford a two bed flat, maximum, if they were buying today, she doesn't believe me! She still lives in the 5 bed detached that they bought in the early 70s.

Well to be fair by not going on holiday they are upping their deposit. Going on holiday doesnt really sound like they are struggling to save up?

Neither of my children went on holiday when saving for a deposit. They both decided that a home was their number 1 priority and saved everything at all cost. Both have bought in past 5 years.

Another 'boomer' bashing thread.

My parents completely understand.

Here we go with the ageism again.

My parents understand. They’re both financially aware and can see that the numbers stack up completely differently nowadays.

Yes. They have eyes and brains. They aren't stupid.

My parents bought in the 1960s. They were so broke that they used to share a sausage roll for tea and eat vitamin supplements that 1 of them got free from work. They had no furniture, no car, no tv etc

My DH and I bought in the 90s- we had deck chairs for 3 years and no carpets for about 5.

My parents did, whenever a neighbour sold up my mum went “how much?!”. Started about 20 years ago and prices have tripled since!

My parents understand but also have limited sympathy for some of the younger members of the family who complain the new build 3 bed semi in an upmarket area is not in their price range and therefore “they cannot afford to buy anywhere”. They can. They just don’t want to.

Yes, they do. They also acknowledge that there are massive regional differences and the affordability of property in London & the South East is very different to than in much of the rest of the U.K.

But they also understand that back in the 70s & 80s young people who were saving for a deposit on their first property didn’t spend fortunes every month on leased new cars, Netflix, Sky, Spotify, iPhones, eating out, beauty treatments, deliveroo and, of course, takeaway coffees every day.

Obviously, times & social norms have changed and many of these things didn’t even exist ‘in their day’, but their basic point is still valid. Saving for a deposit requires making difficult choices about spending priorities and sacrificing some ‘nice to haves’. It did then, and it does now.

Nope my Dad brought his council house for 40k on a 1 person income and thinks it's no harder to buy a home now than in his day. He says people just live beyond their means these days and don't work hard enough. He has 3 children and none of us will ever be able to buy a house but he just doesn't get it. It's massively frustrating to hear his dismissive comments

Tell her to stop reading the Telegraph.

Both of my parents now understand, albeit it was a long journey to get there with my mother.

If you aren’t actually dealing with the housing crisis personally, I think it’s easy to end up totally out of touch with it.

I mean - I only bought ~3 years ago after 15 years of renting. Normal. I already am massively out of touch with the rental market and find the prices just totally incomparable to when I was renting.

Imagine that lack of context after 50 years.

In the 1960s and early 1970s mortgages were rationed. You had to wait to get one, sometimes having to go and line up outside whichever building society might be releasing a few. You couldn't just decide to buy a house and shop around for a mortgage.

My parents are aware, but they also scrimped and went without when savings for their first home. They didn’t go on summer holidays. Neither did I, and I bought a flat for my first property. What’s wrong with the flat which is all your parents would be able to afford nowadays, are your DCs saving for a flat?

My parents are in their early seventies and homeowners for nearly all of their adult lives. They used to come out with these kind of remarks but they haven't for the past few years. They get it. Your DM is probably feeling guilty about her relative good fortune and is sticking to the narrative that the young can't get on the property ladder because they spend too much on mini breaks and avocado toast. Whatever.

I think they probably understand it about as well as younger people today understand how things were back then. Every generation has different shit to deal with and we all choose to elevate our struggles and be dismissive of other people's.

DH and I are now in our 60s and we do understand how hard it was for our children, now in their 30s, and other young people to get on the ladder.

Having said that, a lot of younger people now think it was incredibly easy in our day and houses were handed out for "Thrupence ha'penny" but we struggled to get on the ladder back in 1985 because prices were going up so fast and interest rates were high. I accept it is harder now but it wasn't completely easy then either
Perpetuating this idea that all "boomers" have had it easy and don't understand the young is ageist and offensive

Sorry you lost me at summer holiday 🤣

What do you want her to do about it OP?
Sounds like you want her to help your children.
I helped my kids get on the property ladder and they didn't go on holidays either while saving for deposits.

I do find the criticism of young people having any enjoyment in their lives whatsoever quite tedious.

And the use they’re all leasing fancy cars is ludicrous. Most young people will be pulling in less than £2k a month. After rent and bills they will have very little left to save for a deposit.

Also daily takeaway coffees (never noticed this, have a big team of grads), Netflix is about £10 and might provide entertainment every night of the week.

My mum doesn't get it. She's 83 and has been retired for 30 years. She has lost the understanding of the link between house prices which have rocketed and wages which have stagnated.

Does it really matter if they don’t understand though? Why do you need them to?

"Mortgages were rationed! We didn't have a honeymoon! We had to eat Fray Bentos pies warmed up in a Baby Belling off a tea chest sitting on orange boxes because we didn't have any furniture!" 😂😂😂

To be fair, I wouldn't fancy paying the interest rates they had in the 80s.

Also agree withthe poster below that it wasn't that easy for those of us in our 60s now. I spent everything I had to get my first flat. I couldn't afford furniture for ages so had boxes as side tables and other people's cast offs for years. Interest rates were high and then there was the joy of negative equity.

I’m the parent, I’m 55 and 100% understand.
My eldest DC lived in a horrible house share so I bought a flat and rent it to them for less than half of what a flat rental would be. They didnt want me to help them buy a place as it stresses them so I helped in this way. I’ll eventually gift it but haven’t worked out the details yet.

I have about 50k each for other two DC plus they live at home and I’m encouraging them to save. I said if they opened LISA’s I’d give them 3k per year for 2 years if they topped it up which they did. Plus they have separate savings. My youngest has saved over 50k.

I can’t see how someone with DC in their 20’s and 30’s can’t grasp how hard it is for youngsters.