Dd does not photo shown at school

[Ds8and9]

Dd has a presentation assembly going on at school that parents are invited to. Their photos go on the large screen in the hall. DD and her friends said they don't want their photos up. But the teacher said she's not taking them down as it's taken her ages to sort out . DD is now saying she does not want to go. Dd is not normally bothered about this sort of thing so I'm not sure if she's just going along with friends.

It's tomorrow and she's now saying she feels ill . This evening she will say she feels more ill in-between this she will forget that she's ill be her normal self . Then she will be ill again. She does this when she wants to bunk.

Anyway just wondering people's opinions on this situation

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I was more concerned to raise children that would be kind and caring

Ahhhh, good old 'be kind'. Doesn't matter if they have no confidence as long as they put other people before themselves and be kind. ♥️

This.
I agree with her that she has the right to consent to how her picture is used. She's old enough to manage that situation properly and it's not such a big deal that she actually needs her mum to step in. Good learning opportunity. Fake illnesses do not get rewarded.

This

What a stupid comment

Surely everyone has at least one non flattering photo that, while, yes objectively you understand is still of you, you'd prefer not to be blown up and on display in front of everyone!

That's not to say she shouldn't go, it sounds like she is being a bit overdramatic, but if she hates a particular photo of herself, telling her "what's the problem, that's what you look like?" isn't going to go down well!

It’s it up for 5 seconds why is it even an issue?
If it was on a poster or something I’d understand! I’d tell her to find something important to worry about as it’s not this!

It was done every year when l was teaching. It’s part of data collection.

All the people on here going she should just get on with it.

Why do you think every parent has to sign a form agreeing to it EVERY year? They can choose to opt out of photos under data protection, it is NOT school property unless this has been agreed by signing the form.

Its also fine to change your mind mid year.

The forms are there for a reason, and have to be signed. If they aren’t returned, then permission is not granted.

Its a legal requirement in a school to opt in/out.

It is only school property if it has been agreed to be so.

My 13yr old ds would be absolutely mortified at the thought of this. Other kids are likely to take a photo of the screen, share it round and take the piss. I can see why she does not want her photo up.

I'm an adult and I wouldnt want my photo displayed in this way.

She's old enough to say she does not consent to her image being used in that way.

Lately I’ve been working on my teen DCs awareness that not everything is about them.

With no real reason not to want her photo up (not like it’s even appearing in front of strangers or people that don’t see her in real life every day?), I think it’s worth pointing out that it a minuscule moment in time, and really not worth getting so worked up about…

I have always declined photo permissions for my children since they started in nursery school. I don't feel the need to take photos of them constantly and upload them to website/social media, which is what our school does daily (how do they have the time)?

Once my daughter started seniors, I gave her the option, and she decided to decline also. She was so grateful that in one dance lesson, they were all being recorded, and she was able to sit out, that recording went on Twitter.

I'd refuse photo permission for your daughter if she feels this way. And I'm not one to pander around my kids. We can change our permissions on our school app.

I don't think she should have to have her photo up there if it makes her uncomfortable. And it's not the same for every kid, some have a lot less self esteem than others and personally I would hate this with a passion if it was my picture, particularly one I disliked.

If it was me, I'd help her out and revoke the consent for her photo to be used.

I'm on the side of your DD. I wouldn't want my photo displayed like that - my work wouldn't force me to have it.

I think the law is on her side too.

Well, from experience, photos of staff proliferate in the work place - on presentations, the website, the internal directories… I think DD needs to get over this.

But no one's suggesting telling her they look the same.

If she says the photo makes her look awful you have your reason for why she doesn't want the photo on there.

A huge and very important part of behaviour and responding to behaviour is to make people feel listened to.

But on the flip side if it is the just because - the other girls said so, she doesn't want to etc then it opens discussion.

Have you seen the size of a Year 11? I doubt that she knows the whole 100+ pupils there. And most if them shell only know them by sight.
So yes they are strangers.

I'd happily withdraw the consent for photo use if that's what she wants.

My son absolutely hates having his photo taken and certainly wouldn't want it used on a presentation.

Might be a little late to do that for tomorrow though.

Yes, it does sound like we have done things differently although I did not say that I had prioritised it, I certainly wanted my daughters to have a good self image. And to be resilient.

I've never pootled down the 'be kind' pathway with my daughters.