Dd does not photo shown at school

[Ds8and9]

Dd has a presentation assembly going on at school that parents are invited to. Their photos go on the large screen in the hall. DD and her friends said they don't want their photos up. But the teacher said she's not taking them down as it's taken her ages to sort out . DD is now saying she does not want to go. Dd is not normally bothered about this sort of thing so I'm not sure if she's just going along with friends.

It's tomorrow and she's now saying she feels ill . This evening she will say she feels more ill in-between this she will forget that she's ill be her normal self . Then she will be ill again. She does this when she wants to bunk.

Anyway just wondering people's opinions on this situation

Probably @IncognitoUsername but she still has the right to withdraw consent. I wonder how many parents sign without even asking their child tbh and really school should be seeking the child's consent directly once 12 and over.

I'd also be saying that nobody, other than the parent who will be present will be remotely interested in looking at her.

"Show her you have her back and write to the school saying you do not give permission for her photo to be displayed"

I feel so sorry for the teacher and teachers in general having to put up with this kind of shit both from the pupils and confrontational parents always taking the side of their children regardless of the situation.

If I was the teacher what I would like to say is "the picture is staying and going up whether you like it or not. " and to the parents "if you are still unhappy then feel free to move school ".

Why 12? Parental consent is required for most things until at least 16.

My DD has the same embarrassment with awards ceremonies. Secondary school is tough. I don't know the answer. They have a presentation evening by just for children that have had awards so at least they are all in the same position. My DD tends to duck behind others in group school photos (celebrating success). I would acknowledge her feelings but at least she's not alone in feeling it.

Unfortunately, school management also often take the side of the child/parent - which is why so many of us have left the profession.

"Show her you have her back and write to the school saying you do not give permission for her photo to be displayed"

For the love of all things holy, Absolutely do not do this.

All teenagers are self-conscious you need to help her deal with it and move past it not enable it!!!!!

The fact anyone even thinks this demonstrates how far Western individualism has gone.

Poor teachers dealing with this claptrap on top of everything else. No one wonder they are resigning in droves.

I was a secondary teacher for 25 years.

I would listen to the pupil who at 13 is allowed to decide for herself. And lots of students don’t want their photos on the bosrd

lt takes 30 seconds to remove it. Autonomy over images is fine. Especially at that age.

She's a little old at 13 for infantile strops and planning to bunk off because she's decided she's too cool to do the same as everyone else

I think that's a bit harsh . She's a teenager and she us at the age that trees try it on.

I don't think dd knew until yesterday. I can't be 100% on that though.

I do agree with the rest of your post though.

That teacher is just a human being so don't expect her or any of the teachers involved with this debacle or the teachers at the school to ever go the extra mile for your dd. She's got all the GCSE years to go.

I had parents evening last night and my dd was told by her teacher that she could rewrite an assignment (as practise) and the teacher would mark it over the weekend. She doesn't have to do that extra work.

The teacher at your DD's school does not have to sort out power points for presentations. They could just reach out the names and have done.

I’d have gone the extra mile though.

Dhes 13, sensitive about stuff, and aren’t we always telling young girls they should have bodily autonomy.

lt’s fairly normal for pupils to be like this in secondary school.

*She's nervous about doing a presentation in front of an audience.

Yep. So is everyone else*

Absolutely. My dd claimed she had anxiety because of the way she was feeling about her driving test. She didn't want to know that it was a completely normal thing to feel nervous.

Absolutely everything must be a drama it seems to me with some teenagers.

Oh so it's easy to remove then.

I'm so torn . I think that's just life it will be for 5 seconds there's 100+ other kids having their pic shown .

But then I go the other way and think I would hate to have my photo up. And I get why dd does not want to . Then I go the other way and think is she just copying friends

Let's hope the teachers are like @ArseInTheCoOpWindow and listen to the kids. I think this is a really good lesson in learning to advocate for yourself rather than getting your mum to do it, or avoiding the whole thing altogether by skiving off. Or a really good lesson in putting up with short term discomfort.

I'm now wounder if I have used the wrong words. The pupils are being presented with awards /certificates etc for their hard work.

Contact the school then and tell them they do not have permission to use a photo of your daughter.

Then it's done.

Yeah, it’ll only be PowerPoint,

Click on slide, click on photo press delete. She could type in the names.Still only 30 seconds.

What l do not understand is we try and bring our daughters up to have body autonomy.

And people are saying she should shut up and put up. Why should she? She has a right to own her own images at this age.

People may put up with it at work. But they are adults. She’s a sensitive adolescent. I would have loathed my photo up in a whiteboard.

Completely normal. There are videos of me as well. Literally nobody cares. It’ll be up on the screen for a few minutes and people will barely glance at it and then forget it anyway. All this drama hand wringing is just drawing far more attention to her. OP, tell her about the Barbara Streisand Effect 😂

She doesn’t own the images. It’s digital property of the school. Which if OP tells the school she doesn’t want them used they may take them down.

But the child doesn’t own them

Every parent signs a form saying their children is permitted to have photos taken at the start of the year. This is to provide autonomy.

Shes allowed to change her mind since September.

Have you agreed that the school can use her photo? If you said no tell them that you said no and that you will take them to court for violating the agreement if her photo is displayed. If yes then revoke consent.

Yes this is all it takes

You will have signed something by law.

But if there are 100+ photos, so presumably 100+ slides, someone will have to take the time to sift through them to delete the correct ones.

Not only that, but if it works (as it commonly does) with photo on screen while achievement is talked about, it does look odd to have some without the photo.

The school would probably need to replace the photo with an alternative eg their logo.

This is giving the teacher a lot of extra work, as it's not just your DD, there is a group of them.

There are some children who can't have their photo displayed due to Court Orders etc. That will have already been taken into account. Does your DD really believe that she is on a par with a child fleeing DV?

It is very telling that your DD does not seem to have given you a good reason for not wanting her photo up. You've not mentioned any communication difficulties or SN, so it is possible she is being awkward.

The teacher has put the presentation together, liaising with all other staff, and is now being asked to pull/replace what - 5 photos? Unless there was a bloody good safeguarding reason, I wouldn't entertain it either.

This is true but you said the child should be able to own her pictures

Even if the pictures are of her - she still doesn’t own them. They are the digital property of the school.