Please tell me your weird/crazy neighbour stories.

[shhquietplease]

I have two bins (my basement used to be a flat) and I’ve never used both and I’ve put a makeshift lock on one but you can still open the lid a tiny amount.

It was empty and I’ve put it far back on the property. Went to move it today and found bags of dog poo in it. It’s not anywhere near the pavement! So someone has snooped around and repeatedly put their dog poo in it.

I had one weird lady (we have houses with the same layout) kept coming over to ask to look around my house as I’d changed the standard layout when I renovated it. Fine the first couple of times but by the third time it was just odd.

I had one some years back.

I was a youngish, single mum, had just left an abusive relationship, to a new area where I knew no-one.

This woman was actually crazy.

She would hammer on my door at 7am because she thought I may have been drinking and incapable of getting up. There was never any suggestion I drank or struggled getting up.

She used to send her husband to check if my lights were on and then message asking what I was doing. If I ignored she said she knew I was up.

Made me a meal plan as she felt my kids should have a cooked breakfast.

Started telling me how perfect she was as a parent (her kids were my age, but when I met them it turned out she picked a string of boyfriends over them and they ended up in Foster care) and used to berate me for not reading 2 bedtime stories or not walking 5 miles to town.

One time she took her daughter over to introduce me to her. We were similar ages but I had 4 dc and she didn't have any, she asked me if I (size 12 at that point) wanted to take a picture of myself with her daughter and put it on my fridge to encourage me to lose weight.

I could go in and on and on about the stuff she did, and I had no confidence to speak up (I would now), she was my only reason from moving from that house.

One of my horrid ex neighbours stole my recycling bin I think in an attempt to wind me up or get me to speak to him. I just took it back when it was emptied. It still had my house number on it.

He also accused me of being rude because I didn't answer my door because I was working. But they never answered their door to me either.

I wear yoga pants and tank tops alot with flip flops in the summer. He bought himself the exact same outfit ...

Many years ago, I was in my mid 20’s we lived in a lovely home in a smart City suburb, we really were very happy to have been able to afford the house, we had a 4 year old and a baby under 1, life was good.

My husband went with the neighbours husband to see an action movie at the cinema, so his wife came to spend the evening with me despite me never having asked her.
They were a decent enough couple but at least 20 years older than us and we had little in common.

It all went dreadfully wrong when the wife started to tell me about their wife swapping, they had a few couples they had “fun” with but they all lived a good distance away so they were looking for someone closer to home and would we be interested?

It was a firm NO from me, her husband had the same conversation with my husband, he also said a big fat NO!

It was uncomfortable living next door to them after that, it took the shine off our lovely home.

When my siblings and I were little we lived next door to an extremely cranky and extremely batshit old lady. She watched us out playing like a hawk 24/7 and would screech and swear at us for the slightest reason, or no reason. She would come into our garden at night and stab our footballs / take our toys into her garden, and if we asked for them back she would just rage and swear at us. We were terrified of her.

It all came to a head one day when my younger DS found a hedgehog that'd got stuck under our garden fence. We spent ages digging it a little trench to free itself, cranky old lady watching from her window as per. We released the hedgehog but it rolled up in fear so we retreated to let it go on its way. As we were heading indoors we saw old lady come out and head towards where the hedgehog was, but thought nothing of it

About an hour later we came back to check on it, and the poor little thing was hanging from our hedge by a string 🤢 I wont release too many gory details as its just so horrible, but the crazy old bint had butchered it. My poor little sister was only about 8 at the time and was utterly devastated

I will never understand how or why anyone could be so wicked and I'm 100% sure that nasty old lady is burning in hell right now

Just that they bang on my floor when I hoover the floor or watch tv at a normal volume, talk on the phone. It's crazy because I can hear my upstairs neighbours but it isn't very loud and I don't really notice it

Our last neighbours were toxic. The wife had a thing about their garden and if one of my shrubs put a leaf over the fence she would cut it in half exactly on the centre line.

@Pleasetakeaseat That's shocking - the poor hedgehog!! We used to have a neighbour like that when I was a child - taking footballs, swearing and shouting, putting tacks/pins/nails in the road if we were riding our bikes. For a while, she was immortalised on Google Street View, glowering and shaking her fists at the camera car.

Her finest hour came when I was an adult and acquired a lovely Staffordshire Bull Terrier, with whom she fell completely in love. She begged to be allowed to look after him and walk him while I was at work. She doted on him and kept asking, so I agreed. She would make him 'occasion cakes' out of meat and chopped egg, with a candle for birthdays (which she would encourage him to blow out himself and make a wish). One day, she invited me in to her house and said she had something to show me. There were framed photos of the dog everywhere, and a special chair kept just for him. Upstairs in her spare bedroom, she proudly showed me a shrine to the dog that she'd made. There was a cushion bearing hairs and whiskers that he had shed, all the notes I'd ever left for her concerning the dog, love notes from her to the dog, cards with his pawprints on them and many, many photographs. It was a bit like that scene in I'm Alan Partridge, where he goes into someone's front room and sees it papered with photos of himself. I stammered my admiration and left.

But the dog's shrine did not stand alone. Also sharing the room were two lesser - but equally batshit - shrines to her other heroes. Steven Gerrard and Ronnie O'Sullivan.

Our garden backs on to the street behinds gardens so at one corner there's a point where 4 meet.

The one diagonal from ours (so, street behind but backing on to my next door my neighbor) has a very overgrown flowering bush in that corner which encroaches in to all the other gardens.
When we moved in the people behind me came out to tell me that my tree (it's not mine it's their next door neighbours) was attracting a lot of wasps that year and it had never done that before we lived there so could I please put a stop to it.
Apparently I'm the wasp whisperer 😂 or maybe brought them with me from our previous home.

The man of the couple has a nasty habit of observing any home improvements we do then coming to complain about them even though they don't affect him or his property at all. He never does this when DH is home always waits till I'm alone or with the children, he has never in fact spoken a word to DH but likes to try (and fail) to intimidate the wasp woman.

Had an absolutely batshit neighbour when I was a student years ago but can't share stories of her because she was so notorious with everyone my flatmates and I knew that it could be very outing!

My neighbour used to walk his cat on a lead, on our drive, directly in front of our windows.

Diagram to illustrate how close to our house he'd come.

My NDN barely spoke, the odd good morning but nothing more for about 15 years. Then one day I walked down the drive and she collared me and proceeded to tell me her son had moved back in because he had to leave the family home as his daughter had accused him of sexual abuse! I was struck dumb with the bizarreness of the conversation. She then completely stopped talking to us and blanked us completely ever since. I don't know if she is embarrassed or what.

Also they have a conservatory which overlooks our garden and we have a rose tree that is the height of the window. We cut down a lilac bush because they complained it blocked their light but wasn't going to cut the rose tree down. So they got another neighbour to come around on the pretext of collecting all the rose hips to make syrup (which I thought a little odd but each to their own) only to see him disappearing down our drive with a load of rose tree trimmings! They'd trimmed our bloody rose tree!

the elderly neighbour doesn't like us parking our car on the roadside outside our house, even though its perfectly legal and not committing any crimes.

but we often see him on our cctv wandering round our car in his dressing gown at all times of day and night tutting and shaking his head!

we've accepted it now.. he clearly has some MH issues and we've given up fighting over it now

My husband was terminally ill . One of the volunteers from our local hospice volunteered to bring some equipment straight away so my husband could come home from hospital. Husband just dropped off - heard shouting and screaming from outside, went out to find the vile witch over the road berating the poor volunteer for parking outside her house in a clearly marked hospice ambulance- perfectly legally 😡. She threatened him with the police, she was going to get him sacked etc. He very calmly just walked round the ambulance taking photos of where he had parked and then came in and had a lengthy chat and a cup of tea with us. He was really shaken up and was a lovely man.
She had the cheek to knock the door 2 days after hubby died to say she was sorry , I just shut the door in her face. I have never even acknowledged her since and I made sure our other lovely neighbours knew exactly what she's done. I absolutely loathe her

There is a strange one across the road from me who throws Wheely bins over the garden wall rather than just wheeling it through the gate and has been known to punch the bins on occasions, said person has children.....

I moved into a ground floor flat and ndn seemed OK. She asked me if i could clean out her canary every weekend as she was scared of it. But it matched her kitchen so her bf had bought her it.

Not my neighbours but my DM's. Neighbour would never put her bin out. It was as clean as the day the council issued it...but she would fill the rest of the neighbours bins with her rubbish.

had a few in London. One was a machete fight next door, at one point I looked out of the kids' room to see a man hanging from the upper floor window sill and then dropping to the floor to get away from another man with a machete. The woman in the house then tried to drive her car into the man, but missed and drove into the garden wall of the house opposite. The 50 something guy that lived in the other flat there used to get so drugged up that he used to knock on our front door for me to help him open his front door with the key he had round his neck.

Another set of neighbours when I flat shared with my friend in my 20s, they were having a quite loud gathering in the garden and it was late, and she leaned over and asked very politely if they could tone it down a bit as she had to get up for work at 5. 2 minutes later the father of the family (they were a respectable couple aged about 55), came round bashing on our front door with something and literally shrieking and screaming, followed by his boss and work colleagues who'd been at the party, saying we'd shamed them and we were drug addicts and they would tell the police, and we were fucking bitches and he was going to kill us. Honestly the transformation of this mild mannered man into this absolute nutcase was terrifying. I wonder what the boss thought. I decided to go round the next day to clear the air and they invited me in and apologised (kind of), and said that they had felt terribly shamed and they would have been fine if we had just rung on the doorbell but asking over the fence had insulted them. Everything quiet from then on but fucking hell!!

just for the sake of clarity, the boss and work colleagues were just guests at the party, they were not threatening us. They must have not exactly seen the best side of their workmate though!!

We got new neighbours when our (lovely) neighbour died

She seemed OK,couldn't say anything awful about her at that time

Cue about 6 months later,she started banging on our door,screaming that we where parking in 'her street', we 'have to park ten streets away' and that she was going to 'phone your landlord to get you out!i dont like livng next door to you!'

We laughed and ignored her-so she ramped it up,bad mouthing us in the street (I could hear her loudly lying about us)

We ignored that,so she started calling the police on us-for daring to park our car outside our own house

When that failed,she started playing awful music loudly at all hours and dumping furniture outside her house (so she could claim that any rats where our fault-I don't get the logic either but that's what she screamed at us)

We ignored her yet again,until late March

There was a banging on the door-dp answered it and it was batshit neighbour

She'd set her house on fire and needed our help

The fire got put out and she drove away (with her adult dds and the partner she swore was her brother)

I hadn't to come across her on the Internet a few weeks later,moaning the council hadn't rehomed them within days,they hadn't refunded her for the loss of her phone (she'd left it on her bed) and here's a link to her gofundme as she didn't have insurance

I then came across another moaning post on her fb,whinging that we hadn't donated anything!

Why the hell should I put up with banging,screaming and threats on my own doorstep and I pay my insurance premiums-im sure as hell not paying for her on top

And K,if your reading this,you had zero chance of getting our landlord to kick us out

We own the sodding house-every single brick-and not having to listen to your squawking everyday is utter bliss

I had a neighbour who lived across the lane from us. He partied with his friends every weekend. One day I was walking down the lane and noticed he had made a hole in his fence and there was a funnel sticking out. He'd put it there so his drunken friends could use it to pee into the lane instead of having to go inside.

Mine stands in the dark in their home staring at me through the window when I go outside.

Weirdly vindictive/obsessive next door neighbour in home we moved into just before my DD was born and (now ex) DP amped up his abusive behaviour. I was preoccupied with getting him help (losing battle that one!) and coping with tiny DD so it was nearly a year of her strange comments (saying her daughter had always wanted a sister), constant knocking, attempts to ingratiate herself with ex while commenting mad stuff about me before it really penetrated my tired brain that she was actively stalky and odd. But ex's vileness was the dominant force so she was still just a peripheral irritation. Like, wow, our neighbour is strange.

Like a previous poster, I wasn't myself for a long time so I didn't react as I would now but by the start of our second year she had cut a hole in her hedge the length of my window to watch us in the house, was inviting ex in for coffee and 'support' whenever I had the balls to make him leave and was using her weekly bin access to walk past all my windows multiple (like 20+) times a day arm in arm with her daughter singing "Right of waaaaaaay!" (she meant right of access😂) and staring in as I breastfed.

When I finally realised it was all about my ex she had already thrown a huge party decorated in the colours of his family's heritage, bought the same unusual childhood pet he had once mentioned and come round to "show him" and started to pound on the walls or blast music every time I was alone in the house. She had a good ten or more years on us so I was oblivious to it being a crush I just thought she was a woman-hating nutjob until she did a huge rant on my doorstep one day about me being evil and keeping him from her. Whereupon I laughed my arse off and told her she didn't factor into a single second of my thoughts but he was making our lives hell so she could have him if she liked!

She never spoke to me again, made my name muck where we lived and made the next couple of years until I could move bloody awful but it was all worth it for the look of abject horror on her face when I burst into genuine laughter and burst her big batshit bubble. Now ex is blessedly history and DD and I are thriving in new home in the same area I look back and legitimately enjoy having that one little interlude to chuckle at. She gives me evils and tells her tales of woe to this day and it tickles me still😊

My old upstairs neighbour was a prostitute working from home, Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday were her working days. The door intercom is next to my bathroom window, so I heard just about all her clients arriving, then it was non-stop, very loud shagging for at least an hour before the next one arrived, this usually went on for at least 6-8 hours a day. She had one very special client who she sent home with an apple & a freshly ironed shirt, he usually stayed over on a Saturday night. She did lots or weird things like chop vegetables very loudly at 2 or 3 in the morning. Late dp once did a time & motion study on her one weekend when he was bored, he worked out she was making around £1k a weekend just charging minimum amounts, add in how long her clients stayed for & her special overnight one it was nearer £3k. She looked like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, not your typical prostitute. Before anyone asks, late dp didn't use prostitutes, he had been a taxi driver & very often got the girls who worked the massage parlours as customers & often heard them chatting how much they had made as he took them home.

Had a neighbour who would watch our her window, waiting for me to come home (lived alone) and would always try to 'accidently' bump into me to start a conversation.
She'd tell me all about what 'her and Jock' had been up to, about the trips they were planning, who had been visiting.

A year later as I was moving out, she gave me a goodbye card, with a picture her and Jock.....he was a rabbit!

A few of our toys had mysteriously gone missing from our front garden when we were children. One day we came outside to see a lady from down the road pinching something. When she was told to stop she shot at us with her finger guns.

@Thepossibility omg this rings a bell, was she called Mad Rose?? Think I've met her 🤣