@SpidersAreShitheads please do go and see CA as I’m sure your DH is able to get stuff. My ASD/DHD daughter is physically and intellectually capable of most of those things, but her MH is such that she cannot do many of them - either because she just wouldn’t bother (ASD means doesn’t always register hunger, OCD means she hates the mess, ASD/Anxiety/ADHD means she would never shop or order on line to have food in the house - ie she would starve if not prompted/overseen); same with public transport: she can do familiar routes to see friends, but is liable to melt down/panic if the effing trains get cancelled (every fricking time, it seems) so she can only go out independently on one or two routes, where there will be someone the other end, and if she has an on-call adult to jump in the car and collect her.
eg I had to drive to London at 330 am on NY’s days because the trip with friends to see fireworks and stay overnight in a Travelodge was far too much for her and she had a meltdown, became hysterical and her drunk friends left her to it. I anticipated it, so remained sober, but still, it took a week of her hiding in her room and me bringing meals to try and persuade her to eat, before she began to reset.
When you fill in the forms you state this: yes, is physically and intellectually capable of making tea, but due to risk of collapse must always have a third party present to ensure his safety; physically capable of toileting/showering, but must always have a carer/adult within sight/hearing/reach to come to aid should he stumble/fall etc. You state that this is a permanent, every day risk, ie everyday has to be treated as a ‘bad day’ in terms of the alert levels and the risk of harm.
The forms/questions are not as black and white as ‘can he stand/sit/toilet’ independently as every question has an additional information box. My DD will not get the full amount as she is not physically disabled, but I’ve been told by the assessor that they would be surprised if she didn’t get approx £671 pcm.
So please get help - also, he should be entitled to other benefits. Have found out via these threads that despite DD being 19, she may be entitled to UC etc, so am off to CAS tomorrow myself to find out more. You may also qualify for a carers allowance (I don’t because I’m a FT post grad student, but may apply next year when it’s finished).