How can I stop being depressed about the weather?

[Stardan]

Yes yes I know another weather thread. And yes, I realise this sounds insane but I can't handle the weather in this country anymore. I'm an immigrant, have lived here for over a decade but it's increasingly getting to me. Always struggled with the winters but now it's affecting me year round. The grey and rain doesn't seem to end. Please don't tell me that it's better than 40 degrees and boiling hot. I'm not asking for that either! Just dry and a blue sky, that's all I want. Doesn't have to be warm. It is making me depressed and knowing I have to live like this for the rest of my life (or at least until the kids are grown up) is sending me into panic. There are times where I think through scenarios of what would be worse, leaving the country without my husband and children or killing myself. I check the weather back home or see pictures of my family in the garden and burst into tears.

I have tried the lamp, vitamin D supplements, antidepressants, a gratitude journal to value what I do have. Nothing works and every year it is getting worse. Has anyone found a solution? Learned to live with it? I'm looking out the window right now and it's making me feel so sick and hopeless.

The south east is supposed to be the sunniest corner of the UK. I lived in the southwest for years and it was much wetter than where I live now in Yorkshire!
Also I grew up in the south east and go back frequently. To be honest, I don't see a huge difference in the weather between the south east and Yorkshire. The weather down South is still very much British weather. Every time I go there it's grey and wet!

Just dry and a blue sky, that's all I want

This has never been weather that can be relied upon in the UK for any extended period of time. Did you expect it to be?

I'm not sure where in the country you're living now, but the best way to feel more philosophical about the weather is to dress appropriately and get out in it. OK so you won't want to picnic and lounge in it if it's cool and grey and wet. But get your waterproofs on and go for a walk, get somewhere you can see the horizon.

@Ozgirl75 the students in Stoke Bishop have buses down to campus now (not just up Blackboy Hill)!

Which reminds me that that Bristol Uni Open Day last June was an absolute scorcher!

I grew up on the edge of the South Downs, by the coast. It wasn't unusual for it to be dry/pleasant down by the coast, but wet the other side of the hills. I too used to get regular weather updates about how fab the weather was down in Sussex from DM whenever we spoke on the phone.

Buses!!! What a bunch of snowflakes!

That walk across the downs was the making of us, I tell you 😁
Actually it was doing that walk across with a nice boy from some of my lectures that finds me married to him 20 years later.

True, I think the south east is better, though I don’t really count Dorset as SW - it’s more the middle :-)

I definitely feel a difference. But likely any of it is so far out from what the OP needs it’s all moot.

Who wants to walk around in the rain?!

The damp sets of my asthma so not 'invigorating' for everyone

It was 30 degrees this time last year

You have my every sympathy OP I have felt the same many times. Even if we get the odd sunny/warm day I feel awful when it's back to normal after.
No advice, have tried everything- would love to move to Europe (thanks Brexit) just keep plodding on feeling like I'm in the wrong life! Hope you find a way x

True...for about 3 days 🤦‍♀️🙄

We had consistently good weather around 24 to 30 degrees for over 2 weeks last June. Went a bit shit again in July but was nice again for the end of August.

20 degrees and dry does me. I'm happy with the weather today.

I'm sick of it too. I grew up in the North West and now live in the South East, so I have a bit of perspective, but it's still been quite shit down here the last 2-3 years. The only thing I can say is it's marginally warmer here and when it rains, it doesn't rain quite as much.

I noticed more of a difference between the north and south of the country when I first moved to London 8 years ago. At that time I remember thinking it really was like 2 different countries. Now it's all merged into one big lump of grey.

What's with all the posts suggesting OP "moves back home" they already said the kids are settled here! I'm with you OP...thought of Summer keeps me going through Winter! We just must have one at some point this year 🙏

Here's another one!! Getting waterproofs on and going for a walk to view the horizon is no substitute for proper summer weather, i.e. warm and sunny.

I feel for you OP. I could never live in the UK, the weather alone would drive me insane. You have every right to feel depressed. It's winter here and we've got plenty of sunshine.

I never said it was a substitute! But it is a way to feel less down about it.

If you want wall to wall blue sky and dry, don't live in the UK. Why would you?

I have lived here my whole life and if you can find a way to stop being depressed about the weather please tell me how! It governs my whole life, especially in the summer when I'm just desperate for a bit of warmth and sun.

I don't know why anyone would live in the UK - I don't.

However, OP has a family settled there so she is pretty much stuck. Going out for a walk in dreary weather is really not much better than sitting at home in dreary weather in many people's opinion. Surely a bit of sunshine and warmth isn't too much to expect in summer - even in the UK?

Try all those things together - antidepressants for 6 months minimum, lamp, vitamin D, gratitude journal. Add proper daily exercise (outside if dry or just drizzle). Add the danish approach to hunkering down and being cosy - google hygge

I sympathise. I put up with UK and Irish weather for over 40 years. I finally cracked one day and decided to emigrate (my husband had wanted to for years). Best decision I ever made. Although its winter now, and despite it being very short, and not really cold, I still hate winter. Thankfully even in winter we get lots of blue skies, I absolutely could not cope any more with months on end of grey skies. But I just can't wait until its beach/pool weather again (around October).

It was milder where I live on Christmas Day last year than it was yesterday.

I’m just glad that the days are long at the moment! It may be cold but the daylight helps so much.

@Talipesmum I agree I live in another one of those sunnier areas according to the map and it's funny the difference in perception. I think if it's not raining and there's a bit of sun it's grand, it doesn't need to be baking hot. And we've had a nice pleasant few days. Sunday we did some gardening and actually didn't do it for a few hours in the afternoon as it was direct sun and we both melt. Yesterday was. A lovely sunset and we sat in the garden without coats or jackets.

So I'm actually quite happy and did wonder if it is because it varies so much.

Also I'm out and about a bit for work and then can sit with the door open at home part of the day so it's not like when I temped in a giant office building where you had no idea of the outside weather at all once you were in their air conditioned bubble. A friend still worked there (pre covid) and I realised as she came home St 6 if it wasn't brilliant weather then she'd think it was a rubbish day when it might have beens sunny earlier.

I wouldn't be suited somewhere very hot though so a bit if sun and not too much rain makes a day good and we've been doing well so far in our area. Lovely long evenings too at the moment!

There's an interesting jump on that second map between I think Lymington and Southampton maybe? (my geographies not the best) Where there's a neutral coloured bit. I'd assumed it was all of the south coast that got more sun than rain!

Whereabouts in the UK are you, OP? Could you move further south?

There is quite a big difference in weather between north and south in the UK - the south gets a lot more mild and sunny days.

I am in the south at the moment and the weather these past few days has been fine - the odd shower, but mostly pretty mild.

It's blue sky and sun right now and that's what we normally get at this time of year.

I understand OP. I lived in Southern California for 10 years and came home to the U.K. in 2022. That first year was amazing weather wise but it’s been shit since last July and it has really got to me too - a few days this week we’ve big blue open skies again and the difference it’s made to my mood is huge.

possibly a random thought, we have a dog for the first time in my life and I think he makes the weather bearable for me - because I HAVE to walk him every day I do look for the moments of not-rain and actually I feel a lot more in tune with nature and the seasons just because I’m bloody walking in it every day, being surrounded by green has been actually a really good substitute for blue skies (and in fairness dried out land because of the consistent heat and lack of rainfall)

It's really getting on my nerves recently and making me miserable.

@NattyTurtle Going out for a walk in dreary weather is really not much better than sitting at home in dreary weather in many people's opinion
But it is better objectively. As studies into the effect of daylight (and even rain) for mental health) have shown.

No, bit of dry, warm, sun is not too much to ask for. There are often pockets you don't notice if you stay in all day

Easy enough to say, but as OP appears to come from a sunnier, warmer, clime I can fully understand why she is depressed. I generally go out every day myself, but it's not often I have to venture out on a totally wet day, thank goodness. OP is really struggling, and I'm afraid your comments, while no doubt well intentioned, won't be helping. If she has come from a warm and sunny place then no amount of frolicking in the rain will do. It might help her feel slightly better, but it certainly won't make up for the lack of sunshine.