Is this encouraging my teenager to have sex?

[Biscuitthief]

My dd is 15 and has been with her 16 year old boyfriend for a year. They’re both happy with each other and love each other. He comes over a few times a week but never stays over. They’ve talked about sex but neither are ready yet by my 15 year old dd has asked to go on the pill. She’s our eldest so we’ve never been through this before. I’ve booked an appointment with our gp but am I doing the right thing? I’d love her not to be putting hormones in her body at such a young age but I do want her to be prepared.

Can they use condoms?

Although I too wouldn’t feel ‘right’ about putting my 15 year old on contraceptives it’s the lesser of two evils. They will likely end up having sex no matter what you do about it so in this case I’d just be glad that she is open with you + sensible enough to ask for the pill. I’d heavily encourage condom use alongside this as a back up + in order to pretend STDs, although the GP will certainly go over this with her too

Is it what she want s or what the boyfriend wants?

I’d rather mine was on the pill than get pregnant.

if they are going to have sex at least she is prepared however I would encourage condoms are used too.

Pregnancy is far more dangerous than the pill. Risk of blood clots for example is higher in pregnancy compared to when taking the pill.
You are doing the right thing. The GP will sort her out. Tell her to ask the dr about condoms too.

The failure rate of condoms is 85% in first year of use as folk don’t know how to use them properly. I would defo double up. Would consider Mirena or other larc so she doesn’t need to remember to take a pill.

Better to go on the pill. There's a real risk she going to be pregnant otherwise

sounds like sex is on the cards I wouldn’t want an inexperienced couple relying on condoms for contraception

pull is the best option

good typo!

It’s her body so her agency ultimately and how fab it is that you and her have that good relationship where she asks you for support. However going against the grain , I do feel a girl being on the pill is more likely to be pressured into sex. I used condoms the whole of my single life from a teen onwards - it was very much a line in the sand for me and she WILL need to use condoms as well …even if someone is on the pill I think girls should not tell their boyfriends as they may be pressured not to ask to use condoms.

omg lol

PILL PILL

You're doing the right thing. I did the same for my DD at that age.

Pill and also condoms

Its not encouraging her to have sex, its being realistic and a sensible parent.
Its good for her to get used to taking it consistently and finding one that works for her before she is relying on it anyway.

I agree with pp that it's not encouraging her, you are being a good parent and realistic and doing the right thing. I was in the exact same boat a few months ago. I Had such mixed emotions about it and felt terrible that it was like I was giving her the go ahead at 15 (almost 16) but at the same time, I was glad she'd spoken to me about it and we got her a doctors appointment and she's now on the pill. She's very good at remembering to take it and obviously we've discussed using condoms too/ consent / respect etc. We can't stop them having sex if that's what they want to do, but we can be there for them to make sure they are protected and ultimately no unwanted pregnancies.

100 percent

Plus she seems mature if she's able to speak to you about sex and obviously mature enough to speak about sex with her boyfriend

I’ve been banging the drum hard about condoms every single time. She’s said they’re not ready yet. Though have talked about it. I just want her to be prepared and she’s said she wants to be prepared as well. They’re never alone in the house but I’m aware as teenagers that’s not necessarily a barrier.

Pull & condoms
AND talk about responses to "I don't like the feeling with condoms." And "I can't feel anything with condoms."

Yes this is encouraging her OP. It’s not even legal for her to have sex at her age.

Honestly, the pill does have a lot of horrible side effects, including depression and anxiety. I would be hesitant, too.

It's young to be deciding to take artificial hormones that may have big consequences.

But of course there is a pregnancy risk with condoms - not least the risk that they just don't bother with them because it's awkward and they don't know what they're doing.

Do you seriously think that a pair of teenagers will really care about that?

Is a gp even going to prescribe it to her ?

@stressedespresso i don’t know. But they say they’re not ready yet, so why precipitate matters by putting hormones in the DD?

It isn't illegal if they both consent.

Absolutely, yes.
They've seen too many teenage mothers.