What was 37 like for you?

[doyoulikemyyams]

My 37th birthday is coming up soon and although it's by no means a 'big' one officially, it's coming with a lot of big changes in my personal life – an international move, a breakup of a long-term relationship, and a feeling of a new chapter starting.

Maybe it's to do with the sense that I'm 'approaching 40' more than 'in my mid-30s', and many of my female friends starting to think about approaching peri-menopause, but ('rightly' or 'wrongly') I'm noticing I'm thinking of myself and what comes next in a different way.

So I'm curious to hear what 37 was like for you – of course it'll be different for everyone, and based on what was going on in your life at the time, but thought it would be interesting to know how it was for you on the inside – how you were feeling about yourself and your life at that age?

I had my second child and was on mat leave during that year. I’ve always felt I am the age I am if that makes sense. Nearing 40 was nearing 40, just factual, no big feels about it. Other than excitement really about better gifts. I found 20 the most traumatic of the big bdays!

It’s worth mentioning that at 42, when I look at pics from 5 years ago, I look so young and fresh. I think that’s kids and sleep deprivation as much as age though.

I was having a great time, work was great, used to meet my partner (now husband) after work for cocktails before we headed back to our new house. Lots of meeting up with friends, long beer garden evenings, lots of cold bright winter walks on the Heath or along the canal. Was just starting to think about trying for a baby. I had a great time at that age.

I’m now early 40s and still having a great time! Can honestly say I love my life, it’s a bit different, less partying (although not none!), work is a bit more stressful as I’ve progressed, but I am enjoying the change.

I don't know, maybe those people mean it in terms of not being perved on by sleazy types anymore so they feel invisible? Random men stopped trying it on in pubs? Sadly the feeling like prey hasn't ended for me, I will not mind at all about that stuff stopping one day as they just see you as sex, they don't care about you as a person. Not something to be sad about losing
In every way I feel more visible, my mum says the same, my older friends. As I get older I truly feel in the adult world.

It was good; met my now husband at 37 😀

I’m almost 38 so this is a good reflection piece.

Started 37 being put on a performance improvement plan at work in a job I hated. I quit, claimed unfair dismissal and got a small payout to get me to drop the claim. Have me breathing space to find a new job. I applied for an entry level role at a company I wanted to work for and started two months later.

Fast forward six months and I put myself forward for a huge promotion and got it! Now senior leadership and love my role and feel happy and motivated.

I've continued to lose weight and am at my goal weight so now focussing on exercise and strength.

I’ve learnt to set boundaries and articulate my needs, especially in friendships.

Went on a fab holiday to South America with my family. Lost someone I loved very suddenly which was devastating but also hit home that life is short and you have to grab it (see the scary promotion role above).

I feel the happiest I’ve ever been and the healthiest, which given a few years ago I was bed bound and unable to work is a huge achievement.

37 was hard

A teen struggling with mental health
Young DC
Had recently went back to FT work
Elderly and very sick parents - cancer and a stroke requiring FT care

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

1 year old twin babies, one of whom never slept so I was on a few broken hours every night. Horrendous routine due to older child and complicated school runs and every minute of the day busy. I don't think I finished a cup of coffee or looked in a mirror. It was the ultimate survival year. BUT my babies were the sweetest most delightful things ever and older DS who had been diagnosed with some ND issues had a huge turnaround and was thriving in a way I couldn't have imagined a few years earlier. DH had a massive promotion at work and the future was secure in a way I could only have dreamt of.

I think some of it depends on what stage of life you’re at. For example I’m 36. Some of my friends are just having babies now . However, my babies are 16 and 14 , so we are at a totally different time in our lives, but the same age .

I too am thinking about life after 40 . Your not alone

37 was great for me, happily married, two primary aged DS, happy days, the wheel fell off at 40, pleased I didn’t know what I had coming.

37 was awful. I left my x, with two toddlers, it was so tough, emotionally, financially, practically. I was 47 before I was financially OK.

Major international move home after 15 years overseas. 2 month road trip, house purchase, new job. 5 years married and very much realised that was the best thing I'd done as an adult . Spending time with family after years of not being able to. It was a very happy year.

This has really made me think! SAHM, my thirties have been spent looking after children pretty much every single day, the few hours I do have to myself are generally spent doing the housework and errands a SAHM is expected to do.

Feel ground down, tired, unattractive and irrelevant. It will take monumental changes from me to reinvent myself and see if I can get back who I used to be. I can’t relate to the posts from people saying how they are thriving and happy. This isn’t helped by the fact we took on a renovation project (not my idea) and all spare money goes into the house so no holidays etc.

First time poster here. Sorry if I’ve hit the wrong ‘Add post’ option.

I turned 37 a few months ago, it hit me emotionally. I went through a pregnancy loss last year, thinking I’d be a mum at 37. Another poster mentioned that grief doesn’t go away, so I feel somewhat early on that journey. Some things continue to be a blur.

However, I’m starting to think about my immediate needs and so I’m motivated to get myself into shape - keeping in front of mind that I want to be fit at 38, 39, 40 and so forth. My sis in law is in her 40s and going through the menopause but she’s not let that stop her do things she enjoys. I see that as an inspiration to look forward to the next upcoming decade.

Definitely think about what you want and need, things that fill you with joy or keep you grounded and motivated. I wish you a wonderful time and 37th year ahead!

It was AMAZING , I was single after 14 yrs ltr, going on exotic holidays, parties , had a fab figure and was in my best shape ever. Look forward to it, 37 is fab

I am currently 37 and having a great year. Got married, had my 3rd baby, I now have a 4yo 2yo and newborn. Settled in our home. My job is safe whilst on mat leave. Coming to enjoy my life without some estranged family members bringing me down and feeling empowered about the hard decisions I had to make with all of that. I feel and look healthy and am enjoying the summer before I turn 38 and my DS starts school. Life is good

Wonderful for me, we'd been married for five years, our parents were healthy and we were (carefully) managing financially. I had a three year old and was pregnant with DD2. Working part time and loving being a mother. Also doing some voluntary work that I enjoyed. I was very lucky.

It was good. I met someone (now my husband) after years of being single, living alone and workaholism stemming from troubled upbringing. Fast forward 10 years and I am married to a man I love and with a baby, who is now a gorgeous independent boy.

Sorry for your loss, how awful to lose them together I always think how terrible it must be when things like that happen, traffic fatalities and so on.

@doyoulikemyyams I found 37 hard for similar reasons to you. My friends all had very small children and I felt that life had left me behind. But I met the man who became my husband that year (actually about two weeks before I turned 38 but we’ll overlook that!) and I got pregnant at 39, had first baby at 40, married at 41 and second baby at 42! Life is wonderful, and exhausting …

2 children at high school….1 still at primary….life starting to get easier as in kids more independent

I was (and still am) single. Everyone was moving on with their lives without me. I decided to try for a baby on my own so went through the IUI with donor sperm treatments and was successful.

37 was a huge year for me.

My children were 17, 16, 13 and 3.

It was our 18th wedding anniversary.

We sold the house we built to move into a caravan while we built another house.

We travelled Australia for a bit while in said caravan.

I was supposed to return to my career (solicitor) at the beginning of the year after an extended maternity leave, but I couldn’t face it. Instead, I begun another degree to retrain as a teacher.

I finally started coming to terms with the loss of my parents, whereas before I’d always buried those feelings.

* this was only last year 😜

I know how you’re feeling, OP.
I’ve always looked ridiculously young for my age, but the beginning signs of aging have begun. I’m excited about turning 40, but also feeling less invincible and more invisible than ever before. It’s all new territory that we need to learn to navigate.

But my parents died young, so I’m very grateful that I’m privileged to be aging.

@doyoulikemyyams looking back, it was utterly insane but I was very much, even at that age, under the control of my mother - very old fashioned views- it's up to the woman to do everything etc.

How I didn't crack up I'll never know but I wouldn't have dared have a breakdown because that would have been a sign of weakness in her eyes.

I am a single mum to a toddler. Apart from motherhood what has shocked me is at 37 I look slimmer and better than I have in years (caused by stress tbh but at least it looks good) and I'm trying to take care of my body and health in general now as I know I need to! My friendships are more peaceful- no bitching just support and love. I am intersted in finding love at some point but having that 'need to find a man before my eggs dry up' pressure off as I have a child now is a relief. I also now de centre romantic love- as much as I want it I feel whole as a person without it.

I was pregnant with (and subsequently gave birth to) my 3rd DC when I was 37. She was in neonatal immediately after birth and within a few weeks was diagnosed with a rare genetic condition. So life changed quite a lot in my 37th year. It was full on, scary and and quite a difficult year.

Things are good now. DC3 is doing well (she is globally delayed, registered disabled and will never live independently or have a "normal life" but she is thriving and making her own way) and I'm more accepting of our situation. But yeah life changed a lot that year.