Deferring primary in Scotland

[hownowpurplecow]

Posting here as the Scotland boards are quiet. Just looking for some opinions really. DS1 is a late October birthday, we have the option to defer him starting P1 under the rules in Scotland brought in last year. My husband is very pro deferral, sees it as no disadvantage and lets DS have an extra year of play. I’m less sure, he’s bright, no developmental concerns, would turn 5 11 weeks after starting school so not youngest in the year. Most people I’ve spoken to say nobody regrets deferring but I still can’t shake my uncertainty? I don’t want to academically disadvantage him by sending him too soon, but I worry he could be socially disadvantaged as he gets older as he could potentially be a full year older than other kids in his year which would be more noticeable if he turned 13 in a class with 11 year olds? It would be much easier if they hadn’t brought in the new rules for deferring so I didn’t even have to think about it!

Why should your child always get to be apparently advantaged though? October birthdays don't need referral unless there are other issues?

My eldest two started primary in England, one as one of the oldest in the year and one as one of the youngest. Both have been fine. Now we’re on Scotland and I don’t plan on deferring my late Jan child, she would be so bored doing another year of nursery!

Sorry to the OP as I don't want to derail her thread...

But can I ask why some feel that almost 12 isn't mature enough for Secondary school? My DD in England isn't quite 13 yet, but coming to the end of her second year... her younger sister is just coming to the end of Primary... and is definitely ready to move up.
What particular aspects are worrying?

(I can understand the concerns of leaving school at 17)

This is why I dont think the system in Scotland of allowing people to defer works very well. You end up with some kids 18 months older in class to other children. And often it’s just cos the parents think deferring is always the right thing ( not saying it isn’t for you just speaking generally)
it leaves parents with a difficult decision really.

one boy in my ds class is much older and wins all the sport. But the kids never let him forget he is in the “wrong year group” so it doesn’t count

I deferred my November child he is 11 now and in P6. There are advantages to being the oldest. He is academically confident, One of the things that decided it for us was the school nursery was very supportive of deferrals. So everyone deferred. If I had sent him up he’d of been the youngest with children a full year older than him.

I wish they'd done this when my 7yo started school. She's mid November and started at 4.5 but she's always struggled in a class environment. She started nursery Nov 2019 and by March 2020 wasn't there anymore due to covid and even when she did get back it was constantly closing etc. So I feel she never benefitted from nursery.

Parents often choose the best option for their child? Moving into catchment for a better school. Sending them to extracurricular activities. Coaching, tutoring etc.

Giving your child an advantage in life is human nature surely? I actually think this is fairer as automatic not school or LA dependent.

If nobody deferred, apart from say the Jan/Feb parents, then there would definitely be younger ones. Someone has to be the youngest, but it's really not right that children in the correct year are forced to become 'the youngest' because parents are holding children back from the year they really should be in. Deferral should not be a lifestyle choice, it should be for those with identified learning/development issues or those born very close to the cut off point, not those trying to gain advantage.

It's definitely not fairer and is one downside of the Scottish system.
Deferral (which use to be called 'being kept back', though that doesn't sound so good nowadays), should be for Jan/Feb born (so close to cut off) or children with developmental/learning delay, and not just a lifestyle choice!

Maturity will vary.
A child who goes young will not necessarily be less mature than one who goes older, because it's a lot more complicated than when they were born.
Unfortunately the 'deferring' system is often exploited by mostly middle class parents who just have to give their child an advantage some way or other.
It should really be for those with birthdays close to the cut off point and/or who have a learning delay/disability and not just a lifestyle choice!

Leidenschaft has summarised it very well. It’s easy to say well I wanted to give my child an advantage. And I understand why people would do that. But the system isn’t fair. What about the February born child whose parents can’t afford to, or don’t care, and put their child in to school when still developmentally very young. And they are in a class with an October born child who has deferred even though they were socially ready cos their parents want to give them an advantage. These two kids are then in the same class.

Not criticising the op in any way . If the general consensus at your school is to defer then that is what I would definitely be considering that

"Consent issues if older than peers and in a relationship"
16 year olds shouldn't be having sex with 15 year olds whether they're in the same year or not.

I am Scottish.

I know loads of people who have deferred starting P1 and none who have regretted it.

I do know a few who decided not to defer and they did regret it.

Go with your gut @hownowpurplecow

They do though, and so do much younger ones. It's not really related to what year or even what school they're at.

Some of the parents of normal aged children, who have these much older deferred kids in their child's class, probably regret them doing it though.

All children are 'normal' aged.

I have never come across anyone who has regretted the age of other children in the class. I mean that would be weird.

I have read all of the OP's updates but not the whole thread. @Leidenschaft24 are you Scottish?

Agreed, the system with Jan / Feb deferral made sense and the occasional Sept-Dec child with issues made sense.

It's like they are trying to push up, school start age and dumb down what kids are doing when they start school at the same time.

It really worries me, they are experimenting with a whole generation of children with no real evidence that what they are doing will makes things better for Scottish kids.

My dd is coming to the end of primary 1 and she has a September birthday.
We deferred her. The reason being she had only 1 full year at nursery due to covid and felt the extra year would benefit her.
I would say that 90% of the children in her class that could be deferred did, with an August to February birthday. She did however attend a council nursery which are very pro deferring all children within range because council nurseries work closely with the schools and they are well aware of the benefits of being slightly older.
Private nurseries do not advocate for this. Their agenda is vastly different to a council nursery and will mainly suggest what benefits them and not the child.ie their profits. I know most Private nurseries do not even bother to discuss the benefits of deferring, but they are not closely linked to schools like council nurseries are.
The few children that have not been deferred are very evident, they are not ready to be there. There really is not any need to rush the school starting point, and many many parents defer with September or October birthdays as well as the later months, and if anything it is even more vital that a boy is not rushed into a school setting before being ready.

I'm Scottish. I live in Scotland.
I'm familiar with the system.
Anyone born before the intake cut off is, in fact, older than the 'normal' age range for that class. Exceptions can be made for Jan/Feb and/or learning/development delays, but the average October born child doesn't need to defer. There is no denying that some parents do this to get some sort of advantage however.

My God. This comment is so very very ignorant and so far off the truth. This is just simply not true and miss information. You do realise that most countries in the the world do not start school until at least 6? which is certainly the case for the whole of Europe and in Scandinavia it is 7.

@Confusionn this really has not been my experience at all. There has always been a range of ability, right through primary to upper secondary, and it's in no way dependent on who was deferred or not. Deferring is useful in some cases but it's not a cure all for academic success or indeed maturity.

I bet countries who start school later don't have a full 7 years in primary

Thanks for calling me ignorant because my lived experience isn't your lived experience.

We deferred our end of September child so she was almost six when starting in the August. She wasn't ready socially for a number of reasons. She did her age 5 year full time 9 to 3, 5 days a week in nursery and it was brilliant socially for her.
She's not the oldest in her year as another September birthday also deferred.
She's now finishing P3. Is in the top group for literacy and numeracy and is forming friendships.
She's been able to develop at her own pace socially whilst being ready to progress academically.
Best decision.
Friend in another council area deferred her October born child and also felt it was the best decision.