Have baby showers always been a thing? Or is this just a recent thing?

[ThatPeachSnake]

I can’t remember anyone having a baby shower up until around 5 years ago. Am I correct? I’m guessing it’s down to SM and I hate to be a party pooper but doesn’t it all seem a bit … grabby and wasteful?

I see this big rubber balloon arches that are terrible for the environment. Loads of shit bought for the baby. I get it might be nice to get together with your loved ones for a horah before life gets crazy with sleepless nights etc but I guess the excessive-ness of it all really puts me off.

I don’t have children and many of my friends don’t so I am only going off what I see on social media!

I think I first heard about baby showers nine or ten years ago. I thought they were another " custom" imported from the USA.

Personally I think they're yet another invention designed more to benefit the retail trade and put pressure on people than meaningful in any benficial sense.

But I am rather a cynic.

I agree it's a fairly recent thing, but they've definitely been around in the UK for more than 5 years. Maybe more like 10? I agree with you about balloon arches. They look pretty but such a waste!

DD was pregnant ten years ago and her friends offered to organise a baby shower. We honestly had no idea what it was and it didn't happen in the end as baby born prematurely. DD had moved in with me and I can recall us wondering what a 'shower' had to do with having a baby!
When I was pregnant many years ago my work colleagues took me out as I started ML ( 26 weeks in those days in a hospital) for a lovely meal and presented me with gifts for the baby. It was a wonderful evening

They have been a thing in the US for decades, I remember seeing them on 'Friends'.

Traditionally in England (maybe the rest of the UK) it was tradition to not buy lots of things before the baby was born.

They've became common in the States since around the end of WW2, but origins are older than that

But of course they stick closely to the norm that
a) a shower is a shower of gifts for a landmark in a woman's life - bridal shower for first marriage and baby show on becoming a mother. It is not a catch all term for a party before a wedding ot during childbirth.
b) the party that's attached to the gift shower can be whatever you think the honouree would like
c) you never, ever host your own (because that says gimme - remember, if no gifts then it's not a shower).
d) "shower-type gift" entered the vocabulary to refer to small, inexpensive, useful items
e) lists never needed as host co-ordinates round the (usually quite small) number of guests
f) normally women only, as this is women celebrating and assisting (with the shower of gifts) a woman dear to them as a rite of passage

(edited to change first sentence as I hadn't said quite what I meant!)

It's just more attention seeking crap from companies who have a dollar to make from those who seek attention .

I went to the baby shower for a baby that's now 11 and it wasn't a completely new concept then, so definitely longer than 5 years.

They came from the USA and were generally home based events for women, everyone brings a plate of food type thing. The instagram type setups are new even there

I remember an American friend throwing one for another friend about 10 years ago now.

I don’t like them personally, I’d prefer something to happen once the baby has safely arrived.

I went to one about 16 years ago but it was very low-key - no decorations, no games. Just afternoon tea in their garden, chatting with friends, small presents.

My SIL had one for my niece who has just turned 15.

It was an afternoon / evening garden party with lots of food and wine. In the end just a bit of a party. SIL went to bed and left us all to it.

30 years ago my work friends had a collection when I left for maternity leave, and bought me some lovely baby things. They also visited when the baby was born and brought more gifts! They were very kind. But as for showers, we hadn't heard of them then.

An American friend threw one for me before DD was born, she's now 21. I accepted reluctantly because she wouldn't take no for an answer, my friends were mystified. We had a nice time but we were all a little uncomfortable while my US friend threw herself into it - baby bingo, onesie painting, baby bottles with something or other inside. I've never been to another. One of my nieces had a baby a year ago and thought about having one but decided not to, I don't know why, but the baby came early anyway

I went to one in 2011, think they were fairly new here then. An American custom and another way for businesses to make money by making everyone think they are missing out if they don't have one.
Fair enough to get together with friends but all the expectation around balloon arches and nappy cakes....

Same with bridal showers, unborn baby sex reveals, high school prom (it used to only be at the end of uni here), Halloween being massive (that started in the late 90's).....

Definitely came over from the US. I first remember seeing them on Friends.

Back when I had my children people all brought a gift of baby clothes/booties/toys on their first visit after the birth.

Parents, family and friends visited on the birth day or soon after.

I guess my kids grew up seeing baby showers on telly so it seems normal to them.

To be fair you can't use that about halloween cos it's always been a bigger thing other parts in the uk.We always went guising , penny for the guy etc, but to be fair England did take more of it's Halloween customs from the US🙄 rather than the UK which is a bit Mystifying .

Yet another American " Thing" .
I personally don't like them.
My daughters didn't have them.
Just wait until baby is born. Go visit.. take a gift.
I know someone who had one. Balloon arcs.. loads of food.
Hundreds pounds spent. Loads and loads of gifts.. then sadly baby was still born.
My heart ached.

I went to one about 15 years ago, I hadn’t heard of it before. No Americans involved, but the woman who arranged it was big into parties and organising events. It was at someone’s house, we played slightly awkward games but the booze was good. I do t really have these sorts of friends so was delighted with a little gathering around my computer at work with some balloons and a nice chat.

I really hate comments like this. The vast, vast majority of pregnancies that make it to the baby shower stage will deliver healthy babies. It just puts unnecessary worry on mums tbh.

I personally don’t mind baby showers, I think it’s nice to celebrate a new mum/baby. If I have one I would ask the host to specify no gifts though as for me it’s more about a get together then being gifted a load of random items.

None of my close friends had one. They're an American import, made popular over here by the Instagram/ Facebook gang.

Ita the same now with stag and hen parties. Once upon a time you and your friends would organise a night out,, maybe fancy dress, a few silly hats. Nowadays it's a full on bloody holiday in some or other expensive European city!!

I don't mind a nice get together but I agree that balloon arches and all the presents is grabby and wasteful. I've been invited to baby showers with Amazon/John Lewis gift lifts and you have no choice but to participate as they go round the circle with everyone presenting their gift. I draw the line at baby showers for a second or third child now as I think it's taking the piss. I'm unmarried and childfree and haven't had a present from any of my friends for over ten years.

I disagree. I know a number of women who have lost babies at full term. Dealing with the stuff you have bought yourself is heartbreaking enough but dealing with gifts must be a killer.

The first baby shower I went to was my cousins and her daughter is now 13. I was thrown one for my eldest who is 11. Specifically stated I didn’t want one with any of the others, not my cup of tea.

I had to read that a couple of times as I thought you meant she had the shower when the child was 15.