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Original poster

Have baby showers always been a thing? Or is this just a recent thing?

103 replies

ThatPeachSnake · 29/05/2024 02:32

I can’t remember anyone having a baby shower up until around 5 years ago. Am I correct? I’m guessing it’s down to SM and I hate to be a party pooper but doesn’t it all seem a bit … grabby and wasteful?

I see this big rubber balloon arches that are terrible for the environment. Loads of shit bought for the baby. I get it might be nice to get together with your loved ones for a horah before life gets crazy with sleepless nights etc but I guess the excessive-ness of it all really puts me off.

I don’t have children and many of my friends don’t so I am only going off what I see on social media!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 03/06/2024 13:42

Well the only ones you hear about are the OTT ones "published" on SM. You're missing the tons of small, sweet ones that fly under your radar.

I had one 9 years ago, well I didn't cos I had a prem labour and a poorly baby but it would have just been a meal with friend's, a few presents for the baby which wouldn't have been given after the birth etc.

My sister's (7 years ago) was in a quiet room in the pub, a home made cake, silly games. My friends was lunch in the local pub. Lots of people just having quiet fun with their loved ones.

isthismylifenow · 03/06/2024 13:51

They have been a thing for many years where I live. I can remember going with my mum to baby showers when I was a kid. I had for both my DC and my eldest is 25 now.

It was never a big song and dance like it is now. I would say it was like a tea party, and people brought small gifts for the baby. So toiletries (usually always J&J), some nappies, burp cloths and that type of thing. There was never a grabby list like there is now and all the ott nonsense.

It would always be a surprise, so always hosted at someone else's house, or these days a venue.

It had always been a nice tradition but it's all become a bit silly now from what I see on SM. I include gender reveal in this as well.

Justbrowsing2024 · 03/06/2024 14:02

I'm glad I have the friends and family I do, this thread is a bit miserable and I wonder if the bitter posts are because people wished someone had thought to throw them a baby shower?
They aren't all big lavish social media affairs you know so it's not fair to tar them all with the same brush. 'Grabby' seems overly harsh.
I had 2 lovely baby showers. My best friend arranged both, as did I when she was pregnant.
Yes we also arrange hen parties and have even been abroad for them.
Great memories.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations Families
Brontebythesea · 03/06/2024 18:25

ThatPeachSnake · 29/05/2024 02:32

I can’t remember anyone having a baby shower up until around 5 years ago. Am I correct? I’m guessing it’s down to SM and I hate to be a party pooper but doesn’t it all seem a bit … grabby and wasteful?

I see this big rubber balloon arches that are terrible for the environment. Loads of shit bought for the baby. I get it might be nice to get together with your loved ones for a horah before life gets crazy with sleepless nights etc but I guess the excessive-ness of it all really puts me off.

I don’t have children and many of my friends don’t so I am only going off what I see on social media!

My slightly off topic but it slightly irritates me when I see the balloons in arches always described as bad for the environment. Foil helium ones are not good but, The vast majority of balloon arches are made from LATEX which is a biodegradable material that can go in your food bin. I hope you don’t buy children’s toys in plastic because the majority of those really are single use and terribly bad for environment….

meditrina · 04/06/2024 06:41

Although latex is billed as biodegradable, it is very, very slow to break down - takes years. And although latex is naturally occurring, it'll have been treated with a number of other chemicals so it holds its shape as a balloon - they are not a natural product.

(In comparison, compostable caddy liners take less than six months)

I'm amazed anywhere accepts it with food waste, because it's not usually permitted because it is so much slower to decompose than food. And of course people don't always dispose of them responsibly, and they are a choke hazard (get a bit of balloon stuck in the throat and it's very serious, often fatal, as it won't Heimlich out - risky for wildlife, and of course small DC)

amyboo · 04/06/2024 06:43

As someone who had a stillbirth at 37 weeks of pregnancy 10 years ago, I absolutely detest the concept of baby showers. I don't know how on earth or why on earth you would/could celebrate a baby before they arrived in the world. Mental.

Fizbosshoes · 04/06/2024 07:08

My DC are 14 and 17 and I'd never heard of a baby shower when I was pregnant and don't know of anyone who had one around that time.

I guess maybe 8 or 10 years ago I first became aware of them.

But lots of things have become bigger/more commercialised. Hen and Stag do used to be an evening out whereas now it's mostly a weekend...or I've known some that are a week!

I've only been to 1 baby shower though and it was pretty low key, at the mum to bes house. No balloon arch involved. We all guessed the day the baby would arrive and its weight and played a few games. Everyone chipped in to buy a useful present thst mum wanted. And there was a small buffet.

LlynTegid · 04/06/2024 07:13

Last ten years. As @Fizbosshoes says, not the only event being commercialised, not the only one I'd like to consign to history and/or make socially unacceptable.

MissTrip82 · 04/06/2024 07:25

I first attended one at 19. I’m 45 now.

Most of the ones I’ve been to have been token gifts only.

I suspect whether or not they’re ‘grabby’
depends on the kind of people you know.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 04/06/2024 08:42

I felt so shy about having a baby shower but my friends insisted, especially as I am always first in like to celebrate their engagements promotions babies etc etc. I didn't want to make a registry but they also insisted I write a list. This felt cringe but it helped so much to outsource not just the cost of things like a baby monitor but the mental load of researching which one is best.

I absolutely LoVED my shower. I'd never had a hen do or anything like that before and to have all my friends showering me and my baby with love and advice helped so much. My baby's father also walked out on me a week later so I would have felt a lot more lost and vulnerable if I hadn't had that recent display of love from all my closest friends - I knew how supported I was.

When I was single and child free I always attended baby showers but the things I didn't like were showers where there was 1. No booze and 2. Stupid games like pin the pin on the nappy and guess which flavour baby food this is. Just let us chat about what a great mum our friend will be!

NMc16 · 09/02/2025 08:44

ThatPeachSnake · 29/05/2024 02:32

I can’t remember anyone having a baby shower up until around 5 years ago. Am I correct? I’m guessing it’s down to SM and I hate to be a party pooper but doesn’t it all seem a bit … grabby and wasteful?

I see this big rubber balloon arches that are terrible for the environment. Loads of shit bought for the baby. I get it might be nice to get together with your loved ones for a horah before life gets crazy with sleepless nights etc but I guess the excessive-ness of it all really puts me off.

I don’t have children and many of my friends don’t so I am only going off what I see on social media!

I’m pregnant and not having one. My friends have asked if I’m having one and I’ve said no. I would rather wait and have the baby christened and have like a party and cake then. I personally find baby showers awkward. I attended one and hardly knew anyone as it was mostly family there. I think they are quite wasteful and showy. No one should be pressured into having one if they don’t want to.

RedHelenB · 09/02/2025 09:01

You're wrong, they've been a thing easily for the last 20+ years. Gender reveals are the new thing.

unmemorableusername · 09/02/2025 09:14

Didn't exist 20 years ago. First one I went to in the uk was 2008/9?

foreverbasil · 09/02/2025 09:21

First one I went to the child is now 12. They seem to me to be the epitome of capitalism. I think many people have turned against them as they feel grabby. Most new Mums I know in the last couple of years have swerved them for this reason

Twixtmasjigsaw · 09/02/2025 09:27

My DS is 11. Some friends offered to throw me a baby shower when I was pregnant and I refused. (I think the whole concept is quite grabby tbh.) That was the first time I'd heard of them in the UK...

somedayforoneday · 09/02/2025 09:30

I can’t bear them. Tacky, money grabbing, attention seeking crap. Was invited to a few and declined and went to see the baby when it was actually born with gifts. I agree that you see a lot less of them now thankfully. Making a list of what you want people to buy is absolutely mortifying. Grabby garbage.

GrouchyKiwi · 09/02/2025 09:31

They're absolutely standard in New Zealand, for the first baby. Getting all that stuff for a baby is expensive so, like with a wedding, the family and friends help out.

Although in NZ the games were less standard when I was younger. It was more all the women of the community would get together, bring a wee gift like bibs, blankets and babygros, and talk about birth experiences, offer advice, sometimes bring freezer meals to stock up for the first weeks (most people in my part of NZ have chest freezers so lots of space), and they were lovely relaxed events.

Clearinguptheclutter · 09/02/2025 09:33

My kids are 9 and 11 and they were definitely a thing when I was pregnant, a friend suggested I have one and I think I balked at the idea

they have become more of a thing for the instagrammers I think (which I never have been)

PheasantPluckers · 09/02/2025 09:35

The first one I was invited to was about 15 years ago. They've definitely become more prevalent and elaborate over the years.

Clearinguptheclutter · 09/02/2025 09:36

amyboo · 04/06/2024 06:43

As someone who had a stillbirth at 37 weeks of pregnancy 10 years ago, I absolutely detest the concept of baby showers. I don't know how on earth or why on earth you would/could celebrate a baby before they arrived in the world. Mental.

Am very sorry for your loss and I agree with you.

My mum did host a small “welcome” party for DS when he was born in lieu of a christening which was lovely.

GretchenWienersHair · 09/02/2025 09:36

Definitely a new thing in the UK. It wasn’t a thing when DC1 was born, but when DC2 came around years later it very much was and my friends and family planned me a lovely, low-key one as a surprise.

PheasantPluckers · 09/02/2025 09:38

somedayforoneday · 09/02/2025 09:30

I can’t bear them. Tacky, money grabbing, attention seeking crap. Was invited to a few and declined and went to see the baby when it was actually born with gifts. I agree that you see a lot less of them now thankfully. Making a list of what you want people to buy is absolutely mortifying. Grabby garbage.

I do agree, i found them really embaraasing with the awful party games. I dodnt know they were on their way out, although I think gender reveals are on the increase. How self obsessed is that? A whole party revolving around the predicted sex of your child. Mortifying.

Whoarethoseguys · 09/02/2025 09:38

Definitely older than 5 years I know people who had them 12 years ago but much smaller and cheaper than than you see now. . but I don't think they were around 20 years ago.
They have come from the USA like gender reveal parties . It's been more of a tradition in the UK to buy gifts for the baby once they arrive.

Frowningprovidence · 09/02/2025 09:39

They've been around a good while as some of my friends with 18 year olds had them.

But I'm not sure they were always a thing, there were lots of older people who liked to wait until the baby was safely here before celebrating and then there were gifts and visits from all sorts of people.

isthismylifenow · 09/02/2025 09:39

GrouchyKiwi · 09/02/2025 09:31

They're absolutely standard in New Zealand, for the first baby. Getting all that stuff for a baby is expensive so, like with a wedding, the family and friends help out.

Although in NZ the games were less standard when I was younger. It was more all the women of the community would get together, bring a wee gift like bibs, blankets and babygros, and talk about birth experiences, offer advice, sometimes bring freezer meals to stock up for the first weeks (most people in my part of NZ have chest freezers so lots of space), and they were lovely relaxed events.

Same in SA.

They have always been a thing, more so for first baby. Usually arranged by the mom-to- be's mom or female relative.

They have never been over the top or extravagant, there would be small but useful gifts like baby toiletries or extra nappies etc. It is usually a few hours in the afternoon at someone's house.

But with everything these days, the innocent fun of it has been overshadowed and it seems from reading these posts, there is so much expectations of big gifts and high expectations and posh venues.

It's a shame really.